Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.


My oldest daughter and I are not speaking right now. She was upset with her younger sister. I thought she was kind of picking on my youngest and told her so. They are ages 26 and 22. I had surgery in May and my oldest didn’t even come to see me in the hospital. She won’t let me see my grand daughter. My husband and son have talked with her and she won’t let me see my 18 mos old grand daughter. I have been upset about this but have decided not to pursue it until I am feeling better. I started back to work a few weeks ago and I was upset one day and mentioned it to a co worker. She told another co worker who is a very mean and spiteful person. She is always trying to get people fired and she has said mean things to other people but I usually avoid her. Well, this woman has asked me every day if I have seen my grand daughter yet. Then she pulls out pictures of her grand son and lets me know how she sees him all the time. I wish I had never mentioned it. I have tried telling her that I am letting things cool off before I try to mend fences with my daughter. She(co worker) is like a dog with a bone she won’t let go. My doctor wants me to avoid stress. I need advice on how to get this woman to shut up and leave me alone. I know I will mend things with my daughter in time but right now I just need to focus on the positive. (My daughter is bi-polar.) This woman never asks about my youngest who just got promoted or my son who is starting college next week. She just focuses in on the trouble and won’t let up. any ideas on how to tell her to leave me alone?



  •  

Member Comments

    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Aug 16, 2011
    • Here’s what i would do:

      The next time this trouble-maker starts on you about your grandchild, etc, say this:  “Is it your intent to upset me every day by bringing up what you KNOW is a sensitive subject for me?”  If she plays innocent (which i suspect she might), tell her that you have seen the pictures, her grand is beautiful...but to stop asking you about your personal life, and specifically your children/grandchildren.  Then, walk away.  If she approaches you again and starts in, get up and walk away without saying a word.  Walk away EVERY time she says something and if she doesn’t get the hint, walk away every time she comes near you.

      This woman needs to own what she’s doing.



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joanmarie wrote Aug 16, 2011
    • I love that idea Daphne! She won’t be able to claim that you are doing anything to her but she should really get the point.
      I’m sorry you are having to go through this jc.



            Report  Reply


    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Aug 16, 2011
    • I love Daphnes idea but I suspect you are not confrontational so the next time she approaches you and does this nasty thing start balling your eyes out as loudly as you can. And make sure you hang all over her while you are doing it.  

      I would almost bet she won’t approach you again and if she does you then should feel comfortable enough to call her out!

      Good Luck!



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jc2222 wrote Aug 16, 2011
    • Thanks! I will try it tomorrow.



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Aug 16, 2011
    • Good one, Vikki!

      I’m so sorry this awful person has latched on to you with her toxic self. I wish I worked in your office - I’d tell her a thing or two! I know it’s very hard to be in an office situation with people like this. I don’t know how confrontational you are able to be but if you are able to do it - you may want to just tell her to stick to her work and leave your personal life alone. But, in any event, walking away from her would send a message in itself.



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Aug 16, 2011
    • Gosh ...what a bitch!! Sorry for that but she is...and I would do exactly what Daphne said to do!! I wouldn’t put up with that for a second.  The older I get I’m getting like my Mama.  I’ll say whatever I want to say...and I won’t put up with other people’s crap!!  

      If you don’t like confrontation...just remember...you‘re not to be under that kind of stress so...step outside your box..and just do it.  Just tell her...

      Ok...I feel better now...happy



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Aug 17, 2011
    • Im not the confrontational type, so what I would do is lie and say yes, everything is fine now, and I see them all the time.



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Aug 17, 2011
    • I don’t care to be confrontational, so I’d walk and just dismiss this person that is bent on making you miserable. You can be the bigger person for yourself since she’s not of that mind, soul set.  

      Cathie



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jc2222 wrote Aug 17, 2011
    • Well, I am not a confrontational person normally either. I am going through perimenopause and I have surprised myself lately. She was out of the office today. However the other lady, the one I told my problem to in a weak moment sits next to me so I took the opportunity to let her know that every since she told this woman( I will call her Martha), that Martha has sought me out to rub it in my face knowing that this is a sensitive issue for me. I asked this other woman what Martha’s problem is that she needs to constantly harass me with it. When she tried to defend herself and Martha by saying they were concerned. I said, ” well if you are so concerned about me then you understand I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Why doesn’t Martha ever ask about my other two kids, the ones who are doing well?” I am not sure if Martha will say anything more to me or not but if she does I am ready. The other woman was a good practice. Thanks everyone. You were all a big help.



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Aug 18, 2011
    • I’m glad you are feeling stronger about it, JC! Wishing you all the best!  

      Cathie



            Report  Reply


About this author View Blog » 
author