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I read the articales in More magazine about women making major life changes. I wish I were one of them. I have been unemployed for almost three months now. I moved my family from Buffalo, NY to Dallas, TX and now I’m miserable. I hate Texas. There’s no jobs here, I have no friends here and I really don’t want to be here. I’d love to go home to NY but there’s no jobs there. If I leave it means I’d be divorcing my husband and going it alone. What is “it” though. I don’t know what job I should do anymore. I hate sales, which I’ve been doing for 20 years. I don’t have a degree in anything. NO one is hiring and frankly, I don’t want to go back to sales even if they were. How do I reinvent myself? Where do I start? In NY I played bagpipes. Here in Texas I can’t do that, there’s only one pipe band here and I don’t like them. I’ve always wanted really long hair, but as I get older my hormones are making that impossible. My hair breaks easily, falls out in chunks and looks terribly thin. So it’s short again. When it’s short, I want to grow it long. When it’s longer I want to cut it all off. I just feel so restless in life. I’m unhappy in my marriage, I’m unfulfilled career wise. I feel like I’m wasting what is supposed to be the prime of my life.
I thought that by 38 I was supposed to have life figured out. I thought I’d have a house, a happy sex-filled, fulfilling marriage to a great guy, a hot body and great kids. I thought I’d be part of a community, volunteering my time and being active. I had some of those things in Buffalo. Now that I’m in this toilet bowl called dallas, Texas I have nothing. I don’t have any friends. Any mention of how I hate it here sends my husband (who hasn’t slept in the same bed as me since we met 13 years ago) into a rage. He has family here, I don’t. No one cares I can’t play my pipes, or have any friends. We‘re both unemployed so money is so tight. His unemployment doesn’t cover anything. I just feel like nothing is ever going to be right again. I wish I could run away, sometimes. I wish someone ( man) would swoop in and take care of everything.
I see these women living in 650K houses driving their Lexus or BMW or whatever and there;s me in my old clunker that leaks and makes noise with rust and cracked glass. I live in a townhouse because here in Texas you can’t rent a house without perfect credit.
I wish I could wave my wand and get the perfect job, go back to NY, get the right man, and make the most of my life. And while I’m waving that wand, I’d like to lose those pesky 15 pounds, get rid of the hair on my chin, get back my thick luxurious hair and be able to eat again.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Sep 20, 2009
    • Sorry you‘re going through such a rough time sweetie.  I can relate to being friendless in a new place and feeling so alone.  One thing I might suggest is to look on Meetups.com to see if there are any clubs you might want to join.  Also can you get a dog?  They can be great company.

      Lastly, I would suggest that you go back to school.  If you can get a two-year degree in something you would enjoy, then you’d be ready when the economy picks up again.  I bet Dallas has lots of community colleges.  Best of luck to you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Sep 21, 2009
    • Sorry to hear things are so hard right now. If you are in need of a ear, we are all here. Things will get better, but you have to make changes in your lifestyle...(thats what I am told anyway, good luck to you.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Sep 21, 2009
    • I am sorry things are tough right now. I must warn you that I am typically positive on most days (not perky...there is a difference).

      I too have moved and know no one...do some volunteer work. That will make you realize you are not in such a crappy situation and you may make a friend or 2. Also volunteer work looks good on any resume.

      I fully believe in if there’s a will there’s a way...just may not be the way you are looking for......



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Sep 21, 2009
    • Sorry you‘re going thru all this.  I agree with Vikki, get out and volunteer, it’s a great way to meet people.  Are you a church goer?  That’s also a great place to meet people.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Sep 21, 2009
    • I am so sorry that you are at a crossroads in your life right now. Sometimes this can be a good thing. Obviously, you already know that you want to do something different. You just have to step out on faith and just do it.
      I agree, you should go back to school, volunteer, get involved in church and youth activities. You will feel so empowered!
      Good luck and try to look at this as a positive sign in your life right now. It’s time to make great changes!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Link wrote Sep 21, 2009
    • If you find that magic wand...let me know where you got it okay!?!estatic
      I am sorry that you are struggling with so much right now. I know that it is hard moving to a new place especially when you‘re going from such extremes like going from the east coast to the south. Is there any positive that you can find about living there and maybe try to make that your focus until things get settled. I had moved from Illinois where things are lush and green to the dessert in Oklahoma. Trees were very few are far between where we were. The sky however, was absolutely gorgeous. It was as though I could almost reach out and touch the clouds...they looked that close. Sometimes when we focus on the positives in life it makes life a little more tolerable.
      I pray that you find peace in your mind.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Sep 21, 2009
    • Look for a Newcomers Club; that way you can meet other people who are also from other places. I belong to one here in TN and have made some great friends.



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