Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.


Ok, here is my question.  Daughter 17 just graduated from high school.  She is a good kid, no drugs,drinking, comes in on curfue time or early, drives, had good grades throughout school.  She is already enrolled in college but has never worked at a job except two days last summer for a neighbor laying a concrete driveway. Had a hard time finding a job because she was only 16 at the time.  However, so far has not even tried looking for a job yet.  She got upset with  me today after her graduation party when she found out that summer softball teams were starting practice and I didn’t tell her(loves playing softball).  I told  her she wasn’t play this year because she needs to get a job first, that I wasn’t paying for her gas to run around and when she starts college.  We already are willing to pay for her car insurance while in college but I feel she needs to take responsiblity for her own gas and other expenses she is so use to us paying for.  Am I wrong for seeming like I am pushing her to grow up and learn to balance going to college which will be 45 minutes away and work a job?



  •  

Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Jun 9, 2009
    • No your right - listen when she leaves college she will have to get a job then and people need responsiblities what ever age - so getting a job is the right thing - as we know nothing in life is free .....



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tammyjoa wrote Jun 9, 2009
    • No ou are right to be doing what you are, when she was 16 she should have gotten a job then iknow you said it was hard for her to find one because of her age but all three of my kids got jobs at 16 my oldest worked at the same job she got when she ws 16 for 6 years befor we moved. both my yougher ones also got jobs at 16 and they pay their own way inclding helping with the bills.. know a days if you dont MAKE kids work , they wont and they except us to pay for their 70 dollors shoes and 30 dollor jeans.. sorry not this mom if you want stuff like that get a job... i pay rent and put food in their bellys.   your daugther will see when she gets into collage she will have to work its not easy there either my youghest tried and falled the first time... tell her to get a job.. she is no longer a child and will be 18 soon.. time to grow up is what i tell mine..



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Jun 9, 2009
    • You are right for telling your daughter that she needs to start doing for herself.. How else is she going to learn any responsbilities? It’s going to be hard for her, when she finally moves out, how else is she going to learn if she doesn’t learn now..I got 2 boys and they have both been working sinces they were both 16. My oldest is 21 and recently got laid off from a good job so now he’s working 2 jobs..  Paying for his own truck payment, insurance, etc.. My youngest is 19 and has been at his job for 3 yrs finish his 1st semester of college and paid for the whole thing himself, he wanted it that way.
      He too had a 2nd job but we told him to quit so he can focus on his college, but now that he’s done, he’s wants to go back to his 2nd job.. And he too is paying for his own car payment and his insurance, etc..
      My kids are realizing how hard it is and they know they can’t always depend on us..We aren’t always going to be here.
      Your not being hard on her, you’ve done EVERYTHING for her now she needs to do for HERSELF.. Believe me she WILL  thank you in the long run..



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tina Sickinger wrote Jun 9, 2009
    • I agree with the ladies. It’s never too soon to teach them responsibility. I was working 30 hours a week and going to school full time when I was 16 and it taught me how to manage my own money...and that was a big help to me.  

      Believe it or not, though, I had to fight for that. My dad was all for it, but my Mother didn’t want me to work until I was 18 like my sister. She said we were her responsibility until then! HA

      One of my sisters is 58 years old and still running to my Dad for money all the time...nuff said!! estatic



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angell VillafaƱe wrote Jun 9, 2009
    • You are absolutely right...stick to your guns! Our kids need to take some responsibility for their lives because when they get out on their own they will hopefull know how to do for themselves and not look to anyone for handouts. Our kids these days are spoiled...I know because I have two spoiled boys. My oldest has since left home but had to have a rude awakening when he got out on his own and realized hw hard it is out there and that you actually DO have to work hard for what you want. I am currently trying to get my 17 yr old to get himself a job for the summer. It’s a battle but I am determined to win it!



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 9, 2009
    • You have every right to make her get a job. Kids these days have a huge sense of entitlement and it just kills me. Don’t get me wrong I want to help my kids but not to the point where I take away every chance they have at learning responsibility. What kind of parent would I be then?



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jun 9, 2009
    • Girl pahleeeeeeeeeeeease, when has it ever been wrong for a parent to tell their kids to become more responsible for themselves, she is getting ready to go to college and she is moving into adulthood now is the time for owning up to thweir own responsibilities. You‘re absolutely correct in telling her this so what if she gets mad, its only her future she is stiffling if she doesn’t.



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deck wrote Jun 9, 2009
    • Oh, my gosh!  Going through the same thing right now.  My daughter has a job here at home, but has to transfer to the affiliated company near her college.  Complaining about having to do that but oh, well, she needs the job.  She also just had her Graduation party and whined because I told her she had to pay for her own parking pass.  Okay, we‘re talking she got about $500 in cash gifts!  She’s paying for that parking pass!

      So, yes, you are so right to expect her to get a job, part time won’t hurt them.  They’ve got to start growing up sometime!



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lynn06 wrote Jun 9, 2009
    • We have spoiled our children.  Thats what is wrong with this generation.

      My son is 16.  I took him from store to store to find a job for the summer.  He does not play sports anymore.  He spends so much time on the video games.  His marks in school are excellent, but he has no responsibility.  He will not pick anything up in the house,he will step on it before picking it up.  He does not clean his room and once in a blue moon will help me when I ask.  They need to learn responsibility and a few hours of work will not hurt him.
      I know  we will have to buy him a car soon.  We made a deal.  Whatever he saves, I will match for a car.  He started already saving his birthday money! Good sign!  

       I also think this will help his 16 year old attitude!!!!



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michiganmomma wrote Jun 10, 2009
    • Wow!  Thank you ladies!  You all have made me feel so much better now.  Your outpour of encouragement,support, & advice is so appreciated.  It means more then you know.  As I am sure you all experenced , there are many times during our course of being parents you ask yourself if your doing the right thing.  Is nice when there are others who have been down this same road who can give their words of wisdom to make the path seem smoother.  I did talk with my daughter again last evening, she seems to understand better now.  Know this might not seem like a big thing but today she was driving her visiting cousins around town and for the first time, put gas in the vehicle using some of her graduation money...it surprised me but felt good to think she might have gotten some of what I said to her..lol  Family leaves tomorrow morning, feel it would be a good time that day for her to fill out some applications for jobs.  Wish me luck!  (Big hugs go out to everyone!!!)

                            (Wish  I could give ya real ones!)

       Will keep ya posted on how this all pans out.

               Hugs,

           Michiganmomma



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michiganmomma wrote Jun 14, 2009
    • Well, have more good news...daughter went today (sunday) and applied for 5 more jobs, called on two and has a manager calling her back tomorrow to talk more...keep your fingers crossed she gets one or more jobs...feel she will be kicking herself for not doing this sooner after getting a job and that first paycheck, how good it feels to have this independence.  She is already feeling this after waiting so long to get drivers licence, wishing she had taken test sooner...Ahhh ya live and learn...to be young again (and have the body too..hehehe)



            Report  Reply


About this author View Blog » 
author