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It sure has been a while since I last blogged and there have been a lot going on in my life...

First of all, I am going to be a gramma again...my daughter Melissa is going to have a baby...she is due in oct/nov some time...not sure of the date yet...I am happy but have my concerns...She is Steven’s mother and doesn’t have him as she put all else before him...meaning job, men, friends etc...I hope she does not make that mistake again...not sure if I could go through that again.

As of April 1st, Steven no longer lives with me...he has gone and moved in with my mother....it works out as he is the one who wanted to go there...she also has my 13 yr old niece and 16 yr old nephew...she loves having kids around as it keep her going...so she says...He does better with her...listens to her and is not demanding and rude in her home...so all around it seems to be a good idea...

The past few months have been a living hell for me...I have been sick on and off...Steven has been at his worst behavior and I was feeling very angry...angry at everyone...and I could not hold it in...I would burst out in anger fits...and that is not me...I knew deep down this was not the right place for Steven...so when he asked to go live with my mom I didn’t hesitate...we are now working on patching up our relationship...He knows I love him...and I know he loves me but we just can’t be together right now...

My health has been terrible lately...I keep having this reoccurring sinus infection and have done everything to try to get rid of it...to no avail...I finally had to break down and ask for antibiotics...so hopefully that will work...I am tired of feeling sick and having headaches all the time.

I am now waiting for the doctor to set up an MRI on my legs...I hope it is not a long wait as I don’t know how much more of this I can take...I can hardly get around...I really think it has to do with my knees...they don’t look and feel right...and I cannot straighten out my legs...they only straighten so far...so now it is a waiting game.

Now that Steven is no longer living with me...I will have more time to explore new things...I am thinking of doing some new volunteer work, attending some free programming in the community and work on myself...The first thing I want to do is start seeing a therapist again...then perhaps take some native arts and craft classes...go back to tops...join a women’s support group and start on my cooking and catering course.

I am looking forward to starting these things...this is a beginning of new beginnings.....




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