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Nips, Tucks and Kisses©
Lois W. Stern

What would you think of a woman who tells you she has fallen in love with her plastic surgeon? A bit unbalanced, you'd say? Sexually promiscuous? Frustrated, with no love life of her own? Wrong on all three counts. I can tell you that first hand because I was that woman! Yes, that's right, me, happily married to the same man I fell in love with at age 19. Me, a solid-as-a-rock, both-feet-on-the-ground type, refined, and loyal to a fault, forever honoring those marriage vows. But there I was, a few weeks post-surgery, feeling like a hopelessly-in-love teenager. Why was this happening to me? My research led me to some answers that began to clear the air. My interviews with other women (over 100 of them), made me aware of the fact that this was not such an unusual phenomenon.  

So what did I do? With the knowledge that I was not alone, I wrote about it in a book about women and cosmetic surgery – one chapter about my experience and a second chapter filled with other women's stories. Was I embarrassed? Of course! The title of my personal story chapter, "Utter Humiliation", answers that question rather nicely. Then why would I share this with the world? I suppose that being a veteran teacher is a partial answer to that second question. I like to help others learn. And here was a issue that people didn't speak about, didn't understand. And that includes surgeons as well as patients. So I enlisted my research and interview skills to explore the topic more deeply. Then I gathered all my courage to write about the very topics that had been hushed into darkness for much too long.

That's all history now. But three days ago I received an e-mail message from a Southern Belle named Georgia and received her permission to reprint it here.
Her message confirmed for me that I had made the right decision for exactly the right reasons.
Here is her e-mail:

"I arrived home from being out of town yesterday & found your book that I'd ordered from Couldn't wait to read it, & found it quite interesting & informative, especially the above-mentioned chapters (Chapters 5 and 6)!  I had an eye-lift over ten years ago and recently had a face lift. Both times I too experienced post-surgical amorous feelings for my plastic surgeon.  When I talked to him about it in follow-up visits, all he said was Don't worry, you'll get over it.  I don't think that any of them have a clue about how to handle what I now find from your book is not so uncommon. You'd think that it would be covered in a surgeon's training at some point, & it certainly needs to be so that it can be included in the packet of information they give us before surgery."

If you were Georgia, what words would you have liked to have heard from your plastic surgeon? (and I don't mean "I love you!")  

We want to hear your thoughts, and will happily share them (anonymously) in a future column.

Lois W. Stern is the author of SEX, LIES AND COSMETIC SURGERY and also publishes a FREE monthly Health and Beauty e-Newsletter. She enjoys hearing from her readers and will actually respond!

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote May 22, 2008
    • Wow, how interesting.....When I opt in for any procedures with the plastic surgeon I will make it a point to look for a cute one.

      This post makes me want to read chapters 5 & 6 in detail.

      As for your question, I would of liked to have my sugreon be compassionate and carring, and if this “I’m in love with my surgeon” a frequent occurance, I would like my doctor to be upfront and personal and tell me that it’s natural for patients to experience this feeling.

      But I would really would like to know from you, since you experienced this feeling, what would you wanted to hear from him?

      Great Post

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kendal wrote May 22, 2008
    • I suppose I would look for his comfort, being in an almost vulnerable position after surgery, where you are supposed to feel great after doing something you have wanted for so long.

      I wouldn’t expect the man to be with me forever, yet i would look for some support and positive energy from someone that I felt so close to to cheer me up.  

      I hope this helps, yet since i have not been in that position, i don’t feel like i can really relate.

            Report  Reply

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