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Today I've been thinking about all the uproar concerning men on the site. And while this post in no way reflects my views either way on the debate, I have come up with some food for thought.

Think about when women were not allowed to vote, hold office, or join certain clubs merely because of their gender. This lead to the suffragist movement, and women were finally allowed to be everywhere.

Think about when blacks were kept out of businesses, bathrooms, restaurants, and forced to sit at the back of the bus merely because of the color of their skin. It was called segregation, and it spawned the civil rights movement, and now all races are allowed to be be anywhere.

There have been many court battles over a certain type of people not being allowed to join a certain club. Boy Scouts had to let in girls and gays. Blacks were banned at Augusta National Golf Club until 1990. Women golfers in Phoenix are banned from the grill at the club because it is Men Only-for now.

We women say we want our own places (like this site), yet many of us fought for the ERA, and were/are against segregation. Is “No Boys Allowed” (or aloud, in our case) the only acceptable discrimination?



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • For me, it boils down to intent. Many fought for their rights as human beings and the world is a better place for it. If women still were not allowed to vote, how bad would the world be today? If blacks and others were not allowed to go into public places, how many incredible people would we be deprived of knowing. The intent of these people was to be a part of the greater good. They should have never been segregated or silenced or made invisible in the first place. A wrong has been righted.

      But for a man to want to be part of a woman’s social networking site, to me that’s just weird. What is the real, honest intent there with these guys? Strange curiousity? An opportunity to meet and date?

      I fail to see the greater good that the presence of any of these guys can serve.

      That’s just my opinion.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Robinesque wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • Yes, cindylou, the ONLY acceptable discrimination on here, for sure!  What’s WRONG with that?  You know how YOU felt & ALL of us felt when we found this site & got into it’s rhythm.  BLISS!!  I was here fresh from another site full of clueless 20+ y/olds that were ready to scratch your eyes out THROUGH the screen, if they could!!!

      I am NOT on board with guys on the site.  Not today, not tomorrow!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Leadinladytracy wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • Chocolatier - VERY WELL SAID! Thank you.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • Your opinion is very thoughtful. and as I said, this is merely food for thought, not a reflection of my view.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • I’m trying to see both sides of the argument and yesterday it really troubled me as I liked Howard aka Story Seeker.

      I will miss our early morning (UK time ) chats by PM



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • I totally understand where you are coming from, Lu. As you said “It’s just food for thought“.
      Being one of the black folks, who’s people went through so much just to be considered the same as everyone else, I don’t think we can begin to consider wanting our own Social networking site with the Civil Rights struggle.
      Even as we strive to be equal, we are also different. If men were unable to have their own site, then we would welcome them with open arms. However, seeing that this is just a small thing, to be able to hang out and interact with people that I can relate to should not be that big of a deal.
      I had nothing against Storyseeker as a person, he seemed nice enough. But I must side with Cynthia in that I wonder about his and any other mans’ intent.
      I’m not anti-male, I’m just for my right to have just a little something of my own.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • As I copied earlier on another post, I encourage every Fab lady to read the About us link at the top of our page. It explains beautifully why I joined this site and why most women joined.

      It explains why this site was created .

      I asked my husband and several other males why a male would join a site for social networking for women.  

      Well, All that I asked stated the same thing and that was to score, to hook up , to get lucky,  not one said to understand women.  These are all ages and different backgrounds but the answer was the same.

      I thought that was interesting!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Leadinladytracy wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • Ingrid  

      I agree.  

      I found it hard to read comparing the struggle of African Americans (I am African American) to allowing men on this site.  

      No I am not being over sensitive. However I feel there is no comparing the two.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • I have this picture in my vision:

      We are all in a girls locker room.  Some of us are talking to each other about the color of their under garment; some of us are talking about animals, movies, cooking, etc.

      If a man walk in and sit down, I can see we will all shut up.  I don’t know if it will take sometimes for we become yaba yaba again.  We may.

      However, if a man peeks through a peek hole, though we know or we don’t know, I see we will be yapping - just a subconscious thing I guess.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • There was no comparison intended. I am merely pointing out other examples of exclusion. I KNOW there is no comparison.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • China I beg to differ on your quote:
      We are all in a girls locker room.  Some of us are talking to each other about the color of their under garment; some of us are talking about animals, movies, cooking, etc.  

      If a man walk in and sit down, I can see we will all shut up.  I don't know if it will take sometimes for we become yaba yaba again.  We may.  

      No!!! way am I going to still carry on a conversation IF a man can into a woman's locker room I was in sorry boo! NOT!!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Wittymom wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • I’ve been a member for about ummmm 3 hours maybe? And what drew me in immediately was that this was a Ladies room. I need that at some point during the day.....every day.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • Same here, Wittymom. I just like the friendships I have with the women here.
      Cindy, I understand what you meant. If I took it out of context then I apologize. No harm intended.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • Chinadoll, I love you dearly but if there was a man looking at us all through a peep hole, I’d poke his eye out.
      Sorry, just my opinion. The idea of it creeps me out.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • Ingrid, I did not want you or Tracy to think I was being insensitive. I am just a ponderer.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • I got yo’ back, Cynthia. Plus I carry a knife.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • I mean a peep hole... this site is opened and they view without signing.  So they are peeking.happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • I totally understand, I am in no way offended. I like a ponderer. I’ve been known to ponder every once in a blue moon! Especially when I’ve had a bottle of Teeky’s Goats do Roam! LOL!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • Annie,
      I know what you mean. And I know when I’ve been in a situation where it’s all men and they say something that is cringe-worthy to me, I just slink away. Because then it becomes that “Oh, we forgot there is a woman here” moment. And we know how men strut and preen when they are alone.
      So, why don’t they let us strut and preen a bit with our “kind“.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • Off subject for a moment, I looked in four different liquor stores on vacation, and I never found that!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • WAHHHHHHHHH! I did not go to my store today to see if they had it! I’m drinking something red, but it’s not Goats! Cindy, I warn you, when you find it, consider yourself hooked! HOOKED! ohhhhohhhhohhhh
      I’m so picky, this wine has me hand over fist!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenni0811 wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • Cindy....I’m pretty sure Tori & I have all the Goats Roaming around our yards...

      Thanks for your pondering estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • Teeky, I would prefer to give a high heel to the forehead, ala “Single White Female.”



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Jan 12, 2009
    • That’s another good movie!
      Annie, exactly. And they make no apologies for just being themselves, especially in the company of other men.
      They need some Goats!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Susan Franke wrote Jan 13, 2009
    • This should be a haven for us ladies.  I almost feel violated now.  I took a look at the screen names of some the men by doing a search of the members here and many of the screen names have derogatory connotations and I think they should NOT be allowed on the site.  

      Why allow the wolves (or sly foxes as they would like to think of themselves) in the hen house?



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