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I sit here today understanding the lesson of “No good deed goes unpunished” and in that lesson I see myself as being a caring and giving person, who is often, very stupid. Yes, I’m smarting from the experience but I still would not take back what it was that I had offered to do, since after all, it was done from the heart with my own best of intentions.

I offered a friend services of mine on a pro-bono basis until the job was complete. She was thrilled! She’s patient with the time it takes to render the services since this is freelance outside of my usual work week.  Over the holidays, I get an email and an update that she and her children and husband are enjoying their vacation in Hawaii. I thought she was a struggling artist, cash-strapped, you know, living hand to mouth.  My own stupidity, coupled with my desire to lend a hand seemed to have confronted me today as I scrubbed out my own toilet bowl. Of course she and the whole family can afford a week in Hawaii!  It’s crystal clear to me why she can!

I wont allow my own jealousy dictate this situation as I am far better. I initially offered. I am going to hasten this situation to a complete end as soon as possible and suggest she finish it with a professional who can bring the project to conclusion at her requested deadline. She’s gotten enough from me where another freelancer can simply conclude it without disturbing the integrity of the project.

I’ll never short-sell myself again. Never.  

For all those fabulous readers who have read my words, has this ever happened to  you?  Do you give but if you do, to whom do  you give to?  I believe my next act of kindness will be towards a community group who needs my services. Not a friend, not a family member. Just someone neutral and with a clear and definitive beginning and ending.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Feb 1, 2009
    • Yes, and it definitely stings when this kind of thing happens. We as women I believe short sell ourselves more often than not. We want to believe the best in others, sometimes at the expense of ourselves. That being said, and being taken advantage of as well, I will never just stop being a nice person. I’ll continue giving for the sake of it and because it’s the right thing to do. Some will appreciate, some will not. But, by the law of averages, I feel that the positive outcomes will outweigh the negative



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Feb 1, 2009
    • Well said Chocolatier.  Second to your comment.  Karma strikes and even it is gone unnoticed or even back at me, I will continue to be... it is the “Above” I am looking up to.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deanna Moon wrote Feb 1, 2009
    • It’s kinda like talking about religion and politics in a group, we avoid it because it sparks controversy and arguments whilst in a group.  Well, lending money or free services to friends backfires rather quickly when they are not true friends, but only taking advantage of your kindness.  I’m happy you have the insight that she’s taking advantage of you, and end your Pro Bono services. Bravo! Let her wallow in her own selfishness, and PAY for the services you offered to her as a friend. People are ruthless anymore, and completely selfish and unfortunately our media driven Hollywood capitalist soceity only brings out the worst.  Encouraging our young people to be autonomous and selfish, and we all suffer now.  Good Luck ..I feel for you, getting burned by a friend really hurts..and it’s an eye opener..a crappy one at that..



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Interpreter7 wrote Feb 1, 2009
    • Thank you for the comments.  I wont stop giving but perhaps be more careful to whom I give to. I’ve always said business and friends or family don’t mix so I am the one to blame for breaking my own rules.  It didn’t bother me all that much until I found out about their week long trip to Hawaii and that they rented a house.  I sure wish I could afford to do that too with my husband.  I hate sounding jealous, so I just stuff this all inside of me but today, I just connected the dots and it hurt. I called her but she was not home. I didn’t take any free time today to work on her project. I goofed off, took care of my home, played video gamed and am about to take a nice bath and wash my hair.

      This is a nice place. I think I’ll stick around. Have a lovely Sunday, ladies.  :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Owlmaria wrote Feb 3, 2009
    • Yes, My family but nothing positive in return, I don’t do things for the atta-girls, just b/c I care so much love for family, they it’s okay to call me only when they need something. Other than that- nothing!



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