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My 24 yr old son moved out last night.  He didn’t agree with how my husband treated him compared to his own son.  I’m not upset about it, though.  I should be.  Thomas doesn’t have a job and has been looking for more than a year for one.
I should be upset, shouldn’t I? I’m just hoping that now that he’s on his own, things might start looking up for him.
I guess I finally realized that I’m enabling him, and this is gonna be a good move for him. I love my son but I can’t keep supporting him when I can’t even support myself.
Just my thoughts.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Aug 4, 2009
    • I agree with you. My dad’s wife enables her kids whenever they get into trouble by letting them come home, and her sons are a mess.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Aug 4, 2009
    • Sandi it is hard but your right my cousin went through this and her daughter has now woken up and got a life and a job instead of just sleeping all day and watching films all night and eating them out of house and home. Cruel to be kind



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Wittymom wrote Aug 4, 2009
    • Tough Love I think they call it. Hard, but good for the both of you.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sandils1962 wrote Aug 4, 2009
    • Thank you.  I’m glad I’m not stupid for not being upset.  I thought I would be.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Termite wrote Aug 4, 2009
    • Tuff love it is. It’s hard, very hard, but sometimes it’s the only way. You are not hurting him by doing this, you are actually helping him. Keep your head up and keep a smile on your face. Your doing the right thing. estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marilyn09 wrote Aug 4, 2009
    • Dont try to ‘feel’ something. estatic
      Either you do or you dont.

      Enjoy the peace.
      He’s a 24yo man!
      you know?

      You are fine!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Aug 4, 2009
    • Sometimes i think there is almost a peace that settels inside you when you let them go like that.. ( and let go is probably NOT the words i want to use, but its all i can think of.. lol ) i had to do it with my 22 year old daughter, and you know what? she did SO MUCH better! she has just blossomed, and i am proud of her!

      thanks for posting this Sandi
      hugs!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sandils1962 wrote Aug 4, 2009
    • Thank you all for your kind words.  You all make me feel so much better.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Aug 5, 2009
    • The ladies have said it well, Sandi. You‘re a good mom, don’t judge yourself by your feelings. Sometimes stepping back and taking a hands off approach is one of the most loving, and difficult, things we can do. Kudos to you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Aug 5, 2009
    • Perhaps what you‘re feeling is relief.  I have some experience in wanting a child out of the house.  Not so much because i want the child out but because the child creates dissension in the home and it is sometimes more than i can take.  I handed her her walking papers about 6 weeks ago and she lasted 1 week.  It was a very rough week for me but i grew to appreciate the peace.  I was relieved that the negative element was no longer here.

      In the end, she is back home (where she should be) for now.  Based on her behavior (most of the time) she understands what her responsibilities are and honors our rules (again, most of the time).  

      It’s okay to feel relieved...it’s the beginning of hope, if you ask me.  And, in the end, if you don’t have hope, you have nothing!



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