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A few times over the past few months, mostly within the confines of my comments here, I have mentioned my -obsession- affection for my tweezers. This has been met with some pretty hearty laughter (even if in the form of lols) and even a 'feathermaye, you so crazy!' or two.

Listen, chicks: I am completely serious!

Nothing strikes fear into the heart of my rock-solid husband like “Uh, Scott? Have you seen my tweezers?” His face pales, and I can see the flashback of the one time I caught him CLEANING HIS NAILS with them as it flits across his mind’s eye.

I’ve had the same trusty pair of tweezers for about 4 years. They are LaCross brand, and they are awesome. Razor edged (well, once upon a time anyway) and get right to the ROOT of the matter. No pun intended, of course.

I’m not sure why the big cosmic joke in my life is that I can sit and pluck intermittently throughout the day. Every day. For the rest of my life. And still find no relief from GWS (that’s Goat Woman Syndrome to the layperson).

My mother is not nearly as afflicted by this as I am. Well, that’s not really surprising since at 16 I already had more gray hair than she did. Today they peg us for sisters. Next year she’ll be calling me Mom, I’m sure.

But back to the sitch at hand...

All over my chin, from the underside to the edge where it meets the rest of my face, I can at any time find half a dozen little hairs to be yanked. And it’s not even like they are fine, delicate little pieces of peach fuzz. Oh hell no... I’ve got eyebrows growing above my neck. Thick and hearty ones! And it really pisses me off!!

I’ve really not even looked into that laser hair removal business because 1.) You have to let it all grow out to a substantial length for it to be really effective (I don’t think so) and 2.) I have such sensitive skin I’m convinced it would be less traumatic to just run a cheese grater over my face and hope for the best.

Besides, if I did away with the problem altogether, then I’d have one less thing to bitch about on a regular basis. That could cause my husband to think I’m mad at him, and we can’t have that!!



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Peejay64 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Oh my gosh, feathermaye, you crack me up!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • My neice has a similar problem...only it’s her eyebrows that fall victim to her compulsivity!  When she lived with us, she once emerged from her room after a particularly long session with her tweezers and she might have had 10 hairs over her eyes that she referred to as “eyebrows“.  Right then and there, i GROUNDED her from her eyebrows and confiscated the tweezers!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • My mom made me obsessive about that because she was getting waxed like every two weeks. Then when I found the man-style whisker along my jawline, I freaked. My biggest problem is eyebrows that grow up to my hairline. So I am always plucking, it’s like an OCD issue.  

      A while back, I got my eyebrows waxed at one of those “chop shops.” All by her little self, the technician volunteers, “You want me to wax lip? You could use it!” WTF!!!!! There is peach fuzz, but it is blond, light, and not long, I had only just turned 40 and I was piiiiiiiiissssed.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • After my web guy left yesterday I realized that my blogroll was missing! Don’t know what he did but I’ve fixed the problem. Feathermaye is embedded in my blog once again. Humor has been restored.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Link wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • You do have quite the sense of humor.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • I agree! Her blogs are really a page from my own life at times. Feathermaye, are you hiding in my closet?? Hmmmm.....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • jesus‘girl, don’t even get me started on the area above my lip!!! ;)

      peejay, I aim to please, lol

      daphne, them’s fightin’ words!!

      dana, I love ya back! :0X

      lu, I’ve slapped chop shop girls for less. Well, okay, not really. But I would!!

      cynthia, if you ever, EVER need me to help out with the chocolate, I’m simply a click away.

      debra, I hope that’s a GOOD thing in your book! :)

      iggy/mommy, I’m just checking to see if we wear the same size shoes! I swear!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Link wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • You bet feathermaye!!  I’m always up for a good laugh even when something hits close to home!
      Blessings,
      Deb :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dee Dee Shaw wrote Oct 9, 2008

    • Feathermaye - you are a “hoot“. I love that southern colloquialism! Don’t ask the origin though - I know it isn’t referring to an owl. LOL
      I shutter to think what your reaction would be to my seldom plucked Brooke Shield’s eyebrows. My plucky daughter cringes when she looks at me. LOL Thankfully I haven’t had to wax my lip in - oh - the past 3 or 4 years. A ‘side effect’ of Plus that I appreciate.
      As for grays, well I gave up on those years ago. When Joshua died I turned white overnight. In an effort to prevent parental vs spousal confusion in public, I got aquainted with Ms. Clairol. Clay keeps his head buzzed so no one can see his distinguished salt and pepper look.
      Why is that men are sexy when they gray, and women just look like grandmas? LOL I have vowed not to let mine grow out until I am a grandma - and also classify for social security. I figure that way I won’t have to change the rules. By the time I get there, they will have pushed it out to 90. LOL

      Dee Dee



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • feathermaye...
      I am so understanding where you and the the rest of you hairy diva’s are coming from.
      I had that same experience with my husband...he has since gotten his own grooming utensils and dares not ask for mine.
      I have always had extremely thick eyebrows and on top of that they are very very dark. They were so thick when I was a kid my sister’s and brother’s used to call me that wrestler back in the day...I can’t remember his name right now but he had the really thick bushy brows. Bo Bo Brazer I think.
      My eyebrows are so thick they look like giant caterpillars crawling across my forehead. Joan Crawford had nothing on me.
      I have to tweeze everyday and if I don’t they eventually grow out so that I look like Eddie Munster.  

      What really pisses me off now is that now I have these forty seven year old eyes so I have to be really vigilante they don’t sneak up on me and take over. I keep the extra extra powerful readers in the bathroom just for this very reason. I think they‘re the highest strength you can buy before you‘re declared legally blind.
      Over the past few years I have started getting the one or two rouge boars hairs on my chin. Just caught one yesterday trying to gain a foothold.
      Oh, then there’s the two that grow around my right nipple and one on the left that my husband finds amusing and gently pulls them when I’ve forgotten to yank them out...That ain’t even sexy and the s@$%# ain’t funny either.
      I think I’ve listed them all.
      As a matter of fact I need to go and make sure little Eddie isn’t trying to make a comeback.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb Link wrote Oct 9, 2008

    • almost50...you are too funny!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Yes J‘sgirl...my son never has to worry about going bald...He has very thick beautiful dark hair. My daughter on the other hand has beautiful fine curls like my husband...had!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dee Dee Shaw wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • We have that problem in our family with eyelashes. The boys have lashes that get caught in their brows. We girls on the other hand have stubs. :(



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Carol, you‘re cracking me up!! Keep us posted on Little Eddie... I don’t think we want him on our St. Thomas getaway!

      By the way, I’m about 40% gray (I make Scott give me a percentage update every couple of months) and I love it. I’m lucky to go gray in a really cool way. If I can get a decent shot of my gray hair, I’ll share.

      Plus, my hubs is totally silver-headed, and I’m in a rush to match him. Call me weird, everybody else does! lol!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Weird...lol
      Little Eddie will definitely not be invited!
      I don’t have as much gray as you yet at least not were anyone can see, wants to see, or that I care to show. My husbands nickname for me is gray squirrel...if you catch my drift.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Oh...and I hear that a lot of women color there now....I think not!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Drift is caught!! LOL



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Carol—I heard the comment, “Do the curtains match the drapes?” one too many times and tried it...suffice to say, doesn’t work.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • That would be sooo cool though... to have a tastefully done nude shot of a beautiful middle aged women with a totally gray snatch! Game anyone...lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Screw it. Shave it off and keep ‘em guessing!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Ouch!... that hurts and itches and looks really strange and plus you always feel like your wet because there’s nothing there to catch the juices.
      Okay I’m through with you guys!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • You gotta love how a thread starts in one direction and then takes on a whole life of its own!!

      I love you girls!! :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Kinda like all my conversations in real life!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dee Dee Shaw wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Hiding the screen from my daughter now - too funny. And weird for me - my head is white, not a single gray anywhere else, except the one or two I have plucked from my brow. :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Lu, somehow that doesn’t surprise me a bit!

      momma, I don’t REEEALLY consider myself gray... I like to think I’m silver. OOOOhhhh... maybe even platinum! :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lizajounes wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • LOL You all are so funny..liza



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Be sure to look for grays Dana!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • LOL! Took you long enough. ;0)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • I know she was gone for an awfully long time...hmmm



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • I had only had a few about five years ago and then a couple of years ago I found a few more. But then when I moved to Sav. and was away from my husband for months on end so I guess I wasn’t paying much attention to her.  

      I remember the day I first noticed it had gotten so gray. I almost screamed. Scared the heck outta me! It was like seeing an old friend that hadn’t age very well.
      I was like daaayuum have I been away that long. I felt like Ripvanwinkle, I had definitely been sleeping on the job.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Daily. I pluck daily. It’s a sickness!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • If I plucked there I’d be bald...LOL!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • I believe I can fly....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 9, 2008
    • Shoe sale trumps friends everytime



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