Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.

+1
Love it

This is a first.  We were recently together in Colorado spending a couple of days working on our upcoming soon-to-be-seen HUMOR VIDEO starring—US.   The thought of having our faces plastered on a website had brought us to our arthritic knees.

To get prepared, we were willing to admit that we have wrinkles, lines and folds that needed our immediate attention and in saying so, scheduled a trip to the Skin Miracle Worker AKA Botox Doc AKA Money Sucking Grubber.

We not only did this for the good of our fellow middle-agers, but because we‘re desperate.  We had looked in the mirror with our reading glasses and it wasn’t pretty.  Without the reading glasses, it wasn’t pretty.

Because of our humanitarian selflessness (and the fact that this would be a bonafide business deduction), we decided to venture into the world of BOTOX and JUVEDERM.    

We had a “come to Jesus” meeting about our fears about our faces.  Not to mention, our fears of the Botox Doc and his NEEDLES, BRUISES, SCABS AND POTENTIAL LIFE-TIME SCARS.  All due to vanity.  

We‘re so shallow.

We’d heard some horror stories about the painfulness of these pride-induce procedures, so we had to start drinking, taking Xanax, and putting on numbing cream before the appointed time.

cookies

The following is our Botox blog experience:

“WE‘RE SO VAIN.  YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS BLOG IS ABOUT US“:

YES.  This blog is about us and nobody else.  We had a bout with vanity and vanity won.  To be even more specific, Mary looks like a candidate for victim of domestic violence of the month.  She’s been left bruised and swollen, but bottom line, she looks YOUNGER and bruised and swollen as opposed to older, wrinkled and victimless.

Goody goody Lorraine looks perfect.  Isn’t that speciaaaall?

We love our results but are seriously questioning our sanity at paying big bucks for self-inflicted torture and pain.

We felt like we’d been abducted by aliens, put under the bright lights and poked and prodded.  Our doctor, who looks a lot like the statue David (this made the whole thing a lot easier!), had a constant yet mischievous smile on his face reassuring us we would walk out completely satisfied.

We knew we were in good hands when we looked around at his staff who looked like they had walked off a cover shoot for Cosmopolitan.

It was indeed a party atmosphere.  There were fresh strawberries, chocolate, cheese and crackers, and wine upon request.    Too bad we were too numb from the numbing cream to enjoy it.  What a tease.  These people are sadistic and yet there was a room full of ladies waiting for the same procedures we had just had.

While we stood at the counter waiting to empty our bank accounts, the whole room became a love fest. The talk became who had what and who was waiting to have what.  It was like a bachelorette party without the strippers, although we got the feeling that could be provided if the demand was made.

We were all willing, compliant and eager to have anything done to make us look younger.

Gloria Steinem would have been ashamed.

Although, we saw her on CNN the other day, and she looked suspiciously good.

Now we‘re noticing every woman on the street, on TV and movies, nodding our heads knowingly that they too “had work” done.

Our husbands are scratching their heads and we don’t care.

“We have one eye in the mirror as we watch ourselves gavotte.”

Lorraine and Mary

+1
Love it


  •  

Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote May 14, 2008
    • Lorraine and Mary - You guys are a breath of fresh air! Loved your post. (And I’d love to know the truth about Gloria S.)

      I, too, had a “Jesus moment” if you will, while watching Victoria Principal’s infomercial for the 800th time, I finally thought “Yes.” So it’s in the mail, and the “unretouched before and after photos” are keeping me buoyed up until it gets here.

      I really want to stay attractive. Don’t know how that’s going to work out.

      Namaste,
      Suzann



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Kelly-Williams, M.A. wrote May 14, 2008
    • Hi Suzann,

      Thanks for coming clean with us, and letting us know we‘re not the only ones!  Of course we all remember that “beauty is only skin deep“, and that as long as we let our true inner beauty shine, our attractiveness comes from that.

      While this is, at the end of the day, true, blah blah blah.  Sometimes, it’s just plain fun to take advantage of modern medicine and be superficial.

      Now, let’s get serious.  What is this miracle Victoria Principal product that we are not aware of???

      We need to know about it ASAP,e specially if it’s cheaper than Botox...

      Lorraine and Mary



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote May 14, 2008
    • Hi Lorraine and Mary,

      Yes indeed, skin deep, definitely. I read a book on Zen just this morning and did some meditation and yoga.

      Okay, so it’s called “Reclaim” and it’s supposed to do the same thing Botox does, you know, poison the facial muscles until they stop misbehaving. I don’t care, I’m going to try it - hopefully it will arrive in a day or so. I’m not aging too terribly gracefully, but as Miles Davis said, “Oh well.” (Or perhaps he said “So what?“)

      But I digress. When Vic.Prin. first appeared on TV selling her creams, it was eons ago and she was selling “The Principal Secret.” I never bought it, but she was one of the very first people to say, “And none of my products are tested on animals, and we don’t use ingredients that have been tested on animals.” I remember at the time thinking, “That is the coolest thing!” It was way before everyone turned “green.”

      So Reclaim doesn’t test on animals either. Hopefully I won’t have to keep running my pix (except this one for Fab40) through Photoshop all the time.  

      I’ll keep you posted.

       ~ Suzann



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Kelly-Williams, M.A. wrote May 14, 2008
    • Thank God for Photoshop and people like Victoria Principal.  Call me shallow, but in my “real life” job, I work with clients who are struggling with real life issues and challenges.  

      Throwing in a little superficial preoccupation is a real tonic.

      As for Miles Davis’s saying, “Oh well“, I love the current teen standyby, “W H A T E V V E U R!”

      Thanks again Suzann, and plesae let us know what you think of the product.

      Mary



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote May 15, 2008
    • Ladies,

      Botox, Cosmetic Surgery, Yoga Instead of a Face Lift what ever is your fancy and what ever works, shallow, vain or what ever else anyone else can call us, at least we are trying to look and feel our best, even if some times when we laugh our face features don't  move, who cares? who ever said they should????

      After  having several Botox injections I can no longer stand the pain nor the high price this deadly potion is delivered leaving my face always bruised, I do however reserve the right to change my mind at any time even if it’s next week and make an appointment for my potion.

      Laughing with you not at you.

      p.s. I’m currently in Atlantis Bahamas, swimming with the BIG fish, they were(the fish that is) extremely friendly to me all day, it wasn’t until much later that I figured out they though of me as “their own“, now isn’t that sweet....I feel so special....who needs Botox when Shamu thinks you‘re his sibling.



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote May 15, 2008
    • Hi Lorraine and Mary,

      I must apologize for hijacking your thread. I meant to say that if my anti-aging cream doesn’t work, my next step will probably be Botox or Juvederm! Didn’t get that far because I got hung up on the Vic.Prin. animal thing. But I love your account of your experiences.

      They had a Botox party on this show I watched a while back called “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” and it was very much as you described it here. And the women looked GORGEOUS.  

      Yes, I’m not going out without a fight!

      Yana, that’s so sweet. I bet you‘re having a wonderful time. Shamu... awwww....they are such loving creatures.

      Namaste,
      Suzann



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Kelly-Williams, M.A. wrote May 17, 2008
    • No apologies for “hijacking” the thread.  Lorraine and I have no ego attached to our thoughts or opinions.  Especially since much of what we have to say is “tongue in cheek“.

      Please, hijack away.

      As for the “Real” (a term used loosely) Housewives of Orange County, I saw that episode, as well as many others (at the detriment of my mental health).

      At some point, we all have to find the balance between accepting the aging process and cheating along the way.

      As my mother used to say, “Moderation in everything.”

      If we don’t heed that advice, we only have Joan Rivers to remind us when ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

      Mary



            Report  Reply


About this author View Blog » 
author