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Benefits
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Benefits
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Bullying amongst children of all ages is increasingly becoming an everyday occurrence. Bullying is an intentional form of hurting. It could be verbal or non-verbal; it could become physically dangerous or emotionally harmful. Mild form of bullying like name calling or teasing amongst kids, which is common in schools, can be understandable and acceptable. However, when your kid is being bullied on a continual basis for prolonged periods of time, it could cause him/ her grave psychological damage.
It is critical for parents to take bullying seriously and put an end to bullying before it worsens. Keep in mind that your kid definitely needs your help and support. It is your responsibility to come to his/her aid when your child is being bullied. You would need to take firm steps to deal with this menace promptly.
Here is what to do if your kid is being bullied:
~ Assure your support
Assuring your kid of your support is the primary first step. Let your kid know that you believe in him/her and are readily available if and when needed to discuss the issue and take necessary action when required. Reiterate your trust in your kid; reassure him/her that you intend to resolve the problem as soon as possible. This brand of assurance makes the kid feel secure and cared for.
~ Offer advice
If the bullying is simply in the form of teasing, it would be wise for parents not to make a big issue out of it. Instead, advise your kid to take it lightly, avoid giving it much thought and simply walk away. Impress upon your kid that once the bully encounters indifference from you, it is most likely that he/she will back off. Advise your kid to remain calm and casual; this would perhaps be the simplest way of dealing with the bully instead of resorting to sharp negative reactions.
~ Teach assertiveness
Studies indicate that generally bullies tend to victimize those who are timid, afraid or who tend to get easily intimidated. It would therefore important to teach your kid to be more assertive and to learn positive ways to deal with the problem. The finest life lesson you could teach your kid would be to surprise the bully with a random act of kindness which could have a positive impact on the bully.
~ Provide wider opportunities
Parents can provide opportunities to their kids to make friends in several ways. They can encourage their kid to participate in group activities like sports and debates or simply spend time together over the week-ends. This sense of belonging, could enhance your kid's self-image and boost his/her ability to handle negative situations in life.
~ Conclusion
Although parents need to take bullying seriously, it would be wise to exercise caution while confronting the bully directly.The best strategy would be to go to your kid's school and talk to the teacher or the principal emphasizing your concerns.
Finally, keep in mind that creating a loving and supportive environment in your home, can empower your kid to deal effectively with bullying and avoid any negative situations that may arise in his/her journey through life.
Source: Parenting with Purpose by Robert Reasoner and Marilyn Lane
Very good article, thank you for posting! Where do I begin? Will not make this a long speech, but I was a victim of bullying as a child as was our son. When a person is of a shy nature (not real talkative) then others feel they can take advantage.
I was repeatedly harassed in grade school—hair pulled, pushed into lockers, smacked, chased all the way home. My mom was a single parent who had it out with the principal and the teachers at the time (I was also bullied by teachers). My mom threatened exposure and legal action, so it stopped.
Our son was a short child, shy, and the nasty kids picked on him. I had run-ins with everybody as I learned from being bullied myself, you have to stand up to this human garbage. This is a difficult subject for me, and today it sickens me when I see this going on. There are adults that bully and quite frankly, should get the crap kicked out of them. Our son is now a fitness trainer, broad shouldered and husky...no one messes with him!!
@ marya1961
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is indeed a shame that many adults including the school authorities do nothing about the psychological damage bullying is causing to our youngsters.
Glad to learn that your mom stood up for you incessantly and you too followed suit. It looks parents today are not alert enough to notice the early signs and nip bullying right in the bud. If more parents were vigilant, many of the hate crimes could be averted on our school campuses.
So glad to learn that your son turned out so well thanks to your diligence.
It’s so incredibly sad and disheartening to hear about these horrendous bullying stories. I was so sad to hear about that poor 12 year old boy who committed suicide because of bullying. How can kids hear about these stories and still continue to hurt others? I can’t even imagine being the reason for another human being taking their life!
My daughter deals with a girl at school that bullies quite a few kids. Thank goodness it’s not just targeted at her. These tips are very helpful. No parent ever wants their kids to feel belittled, picked on, or disliked.
Victoria Girard
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It’s heartening to note that parents like you are coming forward to report these horrific incidents of bullying.
It would indeed make a big difference if more parents demonstrate repeated protests highlighting this grave issue which has every possibility of taking an emotional, mental and physical toll on human life.
It makes one wonder, “what are the parents of bullies doing about it?”
I was on the teasing end of bullying. I was teased a lot when I was in school. It started when I was 6 and I thought it was cute to chase boys. Being how boys were, they teased me. I when I stopped, I was being teased for being short. I started puberty at 11, and I was teased for that. I really did not appreciate that, especially by one girl who was much, much taller than me or any of the other girls in class. It finally stopped in the 8th grade. I do not have any children, but have listened to my nephew, who was teased a little bit by one guy in the 9th grade to the point of my nephew having to change schools and wanting to attend an online classroom. He is fine now, and started back to regular school a few weeks ago.
I was teased and made fun of in grade school. Had the living crap beat out of me in the sixth grade. School was not a great time for me, but my folks were there for me and did what they could and had it out with the principle when I was in sixth grade.
It is so sad to me to see these kids whose parents are teaching them no coping skills at all.
Tulip
Thank you for sharing your story.
Glad to note that ‘bullying’ in your and your nephew’s life gradually fazed out.
This makes me wonder ” how.” Do you think ” ignoring’ the bully would be the best tool? I wonder!
So sorry to learn that you had to undergo the agony of bullying in your school days. It was good that your parents stood up for you in every way possible. Alas, most parents today have no time to doggedly pursue this issue.
Would you have the faintest idea what actually worked in your case? Was it your parent’s or your own handling of this issue?
I was bullied. I was chased home from school by a bully nearly every day in third grade. It was so bad my mother removed me from the school and put me in Catholic school for a couple of years. I had so much anxiety about it that I threw up every morning after I ate my breakfast. The girl was relentless, passing threatening notes to me in class, staring at me and then waiting for me when I walked home.
Then I was bullied for being smart. For some reason the word “smack” was thrown around at those of us who had good grades. I was in something called MGM (mentally gifted minds) when I was a kid and that just but a big bullseye on my back, unfortunately.
Sadly the public schools are remiss in taking much action on bullying from what I can see. My husband runs a private school and bullying is absolutely not tolerated. He gives the perpetrator an opportunity to make amends and to change their ways but if it persists he doesn’t hesitate to remove them from the school population.
Hi Cynthia!
Nice to have you join in the discussion. Sorry to learn of your negative experience. Perhaps you‘re right that bullies are generally those who have bad grades; this may stem from their low self-esteem. They are envious of those better than themselves and want to stalk them.
However, its terrible when it reaches the stage when one has to live in constant fear—-to the point of switching schools. Who is to blame? So glad to hear that bullying is not tolerated in your husband’s school. Strict vigilance is the key.
No one should take bullying lying down.
Wow! When I picked out this topic, I had no idea how widespread bullying was or has been. Its astonishing that this menace has not been eradicated; but rather escalated over the years. At times, parents are helpless too!
Perhaps, the main solution would be for the school authorities to impose stricter measures and even dismissal from the school as soon as any case of bullying is reported.
I commend your boss for doing what’s right and getting the child to apologize in front of the entire class.
you know in society today we all try to do the right thing, set limits and live a life that is better for ourselves, our children and the community. as much as we understand and have empathy for those who are bullys even bullys need to have respectful limits. i think in our efforts today we are trying too hard to correct a wrong in a short time and in doing so give perhaps too much lenience to those “bullys” who need swifter disciplinary action.
You are absolutely right!
Your solution of ” swifter disciplinary action” and lesser “leniency” is what is required today.
I would like to add also that our son was involved in different activities as a child...Cub Scouts, sports, etc..but in his case he was fortunate to spend summers with his grandparents and therefore was able to meet wonderful kids his age in North Carolina, which also nurtured his well being.
On a final note, to those parents out there who fail to see the signs of bullying or choose to ignore it, you are creating a monster and therefore putting an innocent child at risk.
Thanks so much for your valuable input. I do hope more parents would follow suit and engage their kids in extra-curricular activities of their interest. Of course, most kids can imbibe valuable lessons and life skills from their grandparents.
Consider yourself blessed Marya.
Thank you Gabby! Just wish I could help more children who endure this type of treatment or be able to clue a parent in if their child is the one doing the bullying. Who knows, maybe there will be a way.
Nice article Gabby, this has always been a real problem and still presents it’s self with my 9yr old today. My duaghter is very emotional and always coming home upset and sometimes I do feel I can’t resolve all her problems for her she always has a safe loving home to come home to at the end of the day. Your advice is really helpfull.
Thanks
Thank You for sharing your daughter’s predicament and for your gracious acknowledgement.
I do sincerely hope that this article helped you to help your daughter in some way.
Good Luck & God Bless!
I can well understand how you must feel on this issue.
Well, certain things in life, cannot be helped. But if all parents are ready to take on the responsibility of raising self-disciplined kids, most of the ills in our society and schools, could be resolved.
Thanks again!
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