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Hello all you Fabulous Ladies!  

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged and I thought it about time I clock in and update you all on my adapting to my “divorcee” state.  

It’s not always easy, sometimes I want to not own it and will say, “the” divorce instead of “my” divorce. And sometimes I have to chide myself for thinking he’d be cooperative since it’s really naive (Ok...that translates into ... Dumb!) of me after he wasn’t all that cooper- ative during our marriage. And then not blame myself for that.  

On one hand, I can’t blame him completely for the failure of our marriage because it seems unfair to. But then.... LOL... I was living like I wasn’t married and my attempts to balance it for both our needs were repeatedly rejected by him. I have to say it was like kicking a dead horse trying to revive it.

I don’t like living in a state of anger that pumps me up to fight for my well being and my ability to take care of my animals. I’ve always been committed to my responsiblity with my loves because I chose them and they didn’t ask me to. Though he (that man) agreed to my
bringing these babies into our life, he wasn’t involved emotionally as I was and still am.

Meanwhile... I started to passionately hate being stuck on our property and there isn’t a thing I can do about it because I can’t earn any income to change it without having to give him half of it. Since he never gave me half of the income he made, I’ll wait it out till
the divorce is final and live the best I can as a poor Divorcee.  

That isn’t too difficult for me since I was the master mind behind his business success. I
don’t get any credit for it from him, naturally. I know it and that’s enough.  

It occurred to me recently that all of my credit was based on our income and to build a credit line of my own I’d have to use my credit cards and not pay off the month’s bal-ance as has been my habit. I trust him so little to pay me spousal support (it’s a mure
$700 a month) it’s scary after he forced me to pay the home insurance in March that was more than one month’s spousal support.  

We have a shared auto insurance policy in my name coming up due in June and I am not paying for his vehicles to have mine insured and can’t change it until the divorce is final. I can get a new surance policy that will over lap the current policy. And that is today’s plan.  

I wonder what other survival tricks this divorce will teach me? ;oD  

Cathie

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote May 8, 2010
    • Cathie, all I can say is I am so sorry you have to go through all of this.
      Blessings with you!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kandykahne 5 wrote May 8, 2010
    • Sorry your going through this and I hope everything works out for you.happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote May 9, 2010
    • Cathie this has been a rough one and yet you have amazed me through the whole process how strong you are. This wasn’t your idea in the first place; you were hit with this head on. I wish you continued success during this very difficult time - I know you’ll come away much less scathed than him. Goodness always prevails and you will be the one who does.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote May 9, 2010
    • Hi Monica, thanks for the sweet hugs!

      I am sad to say I don’t know how to private message here on Fab 40. Can you please tell me how to?  

      Divorce sucks, even when it's the best thing to happen to us!    I thank you for your support. I don't know if I've mentioned in my divorce topic blogs that I lost friends, or rather people that I thought were friends. One man even told me not to call his mother any more.  yow!  

      But on the other hand, I’ve been blessed with some old friends wishing to be closer friends so I don’t feel too bad on the stand the others took. ;oD  

      Hugs,
      Cathie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote May 9, 2010
    • Heya Mz Tracy!  

      I'm by nature a blessings counter and it was shocking that I didn't conjure up a single one to be thankful for, though I know there was some, for several days before I blogged. Now I am going outside and getting some weeding & clean up done in my gardens and I don't care I might be seen in My gardens by him or his new girlfriend!    

      Another blessing to count this morning is there’s a new good sized patch of wild Bleeding
      Hearts growing around the base of a tree on the slope. Pretty! They‘re one of my favorite
      plants.  

      Thank you for your sweet & kind support!  

      Cathie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote May 9, 2010
    • Hello Allinet,

      Thanks for the thumbs up, Sweetie! It puts a smile on my face. ;oD  

      Cathie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote May 9, 2010
    • Hi Diana,

      Don’t worry, this too shall pass! ;oD  It’s one of my favorite sayings.  Trust me.... I’m going to have it work out better than he thinks.  

      Hugs,
      Cathie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote May 9, 2010
    • Hi Cynthia,

      I have to admit to wanting him to care enough about our years together and fix the fence so my crazy little dog (he’s little compared to my big old wolf hybrid dog) trying to bust out of it to chase dogs walking the trail with their people that goes past the top of the property. Nope.... got to call my attorney tomorrow.  

      He probably thought since I dealt with the home insurance issue myself that I wouldn’t go through my attorney on the fence. That was a mistake on his part, I still have a balance on her retainer.  The fence maintenance is in the inital divorce contract and he has to repair it, like it or not. ;oD  It’s court ordered and he can go to jail if he doesn’t comply with it, or have to pay for my getting someone to fix it. I’m right in this no matter what he wants to  think.  

      God help his girlfriend #2! She has 2 young boys.  

      Cathie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote May 10, 2010
    • Thank you, Monica! I have your email address written down. ;o))

      I’m not going to let him off the hook on the fence, I can’t afford to in many ways. And he put me off and it off so now he’ll have to work in the rain. gee... what a shame. LOL  It’s really coming down out there, down into the 30’s and strong, gusty wind.  

      Hugs,
      Cathie



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