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+8
Love it

I have been on Fabulous 40 since October 2008 when I joined I will admit I was at a very low ebb I had lost my sister / best buddy and I remember staying up for weeks on end having huge fun and laughing and yes at the same time we also had controversial posts – some people will remember the Sarah Palin  post ......... say no more.

The main ethos of the Fab 40  site is to help our fellow sister – the road of life is often bumpy and people do hit those bumps with some force and if we can help soften the blow then hey we do and step forward and lend a hand.

But yesterday I shook my head in dismay at the cat fight and name calling over something which normally would have been just a healthy lively debate – I have followed my own rule and didn't wade in during the fight – at 49 one of the big parts of growing up  (that's the operative words) I have learnt to pick my fights and having a 24 hour rule and now 24 hours are up I have to say I hope we never have a repeat of yesterday's behaviour and churlish , childish comments.

Now this is quite out of character for me as I'm usually the Northern bird who cracks a joke to defuse the situation but yesterday I was very upset about seeing a few friends rounded on and having quite deep and nasty character assassinations made about them by other members - so take this post as a bit of a housekeeping post so we keep the spirit of Fab40 alive  

If you don't like a post you're not compelled to read or comment

If you disagree with a post be considerate.

If you have nothing nice to say "shut up" ..........

Now can we go back to being women over 40 who are fabulous please?

+8
Love it



Member Comments

    • +3 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote May 2, 2011
    • And if you don’t like this post hey what can I say estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Momofthreeprincess wrote May 2, 2011
    • Well said Vicki.
      Ladies put away your nails and snarls and act like ladies.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote May 2, 2011
    • heartAmen my UK sista! Amen.happy

      "Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action Mother Teresa."



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote May 2, 2011
    • My computer doesn’t let me do the little thumbs up icon, but I will say, Yes Please!  ;oD

      Cathie



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote May 2, 2011
    • LOL Annie!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Angelcart wrote May 2, 2011
    • I never log on during the weekends.  Sounds like a good thing????  I agree.happy



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Max0125 wrote May 2, 2011
    • Great advice!



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote May 2, 2011
    •  I get really upset when friends get attacked ( as a few will have noticed in the past ) and Vikki very well said Thank you.
      Hugs
      Cris



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote May 2, 2011
    • well I hope those who have just appeared over the last few days to cause mayhem see this as a sign they are not welcome with their bad manners and wise up ...

      Peace and joy to everyone



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote May 2, 2011
    • go Vicki go Vicki!!! Damn straight girl! estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote May 2, 2011
    • I agree but can  Nicley ask what is the picutre of the troll mean?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote May 2, 2011
    • I have been here many years, I am going through a very hard time, with two deaths in family son dying, lsoing money headed towaward homelesnes and Neicy can attest to it and every time I try to say something nice I get hit with a remark. or now a picture of a troll? and this is called playing nice? very hurtful
      Indeed.



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    • +4 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote May 2, 2011
    • MSJ I am sorry you have taken this as a personal attack it was actually meant as a housekeeping note to everyone about acting with decorum and to be nice towards one another as people never know what someone is going through.
      I wrote the post so it's up to me to answer this – this post wasn't aimed at you specifically but over the last few days lots of people got out of hand and hence the reason for the post.
      So I was asking for people to respect each other and each other opinions and that everyone is walking a bumpy road and the aim of the site and the sisterhood of the site is to help each other not to shoot each other down and to tear each other apart .........
      If you're feeling hurt and upset then there is nothing I can or will add to that ............ they are your thoughts on the matter and my thoughts are clearly stated in the post.



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote May 2, 2011
    • Nicely said Vicki!



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Linda L wrote May 3, 2011
    • Vicki, thank you for posting this essential reminder to always treat others the way you want to be treated.



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote May 3, 2011
    • @Msj, yes I can and will attest to the facts about your son and all the trials you‘re facing at this time, but about the other issues I can not and will not speak on because we all have and are entitled to our own opinions and I totally agre with what UKGirl has said, this site will have difference of opinions because we are all different, and that’s ok and should be understood by all, now with that said I as well as all the others are here for you in your time of need for strength, prayer, support, but in no way will I stand for or be cursed out by anyone here as you have done which was unexcusable even in your most trying times, but I do understand your postion at this time with your son and I do suggest you take time from here if need be and deal with those issues for Blake knowing we love and support you and will be here for you, if and when you return, my prayers are with you, God bless you my friend.happyheart

      "Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action Mother Teresa."



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote May 3, 2011
    • THANK YOU Vicki, for jumping in and addressing the issue.

      The vision for Fabulously40 is to have a friendly, supportive community where women can nurture and support each other through life’s challenges. So it’s very important that the site remains a place where we can discuss issues with courtesy and respect for each other and without fear of being attacked or ridiculed.

      Sometimes, messages, emails, posts, blogs, etc. get “lost in translation” and some of us feel it’s directed right at us. When really, it’s just a response to the whole thread in general.

      It’s so much easier to say nothing, then get involved in an ugly debate hurting others.

      Ladies, this is a place for all of us to connect, share and learn from each other. If we at 40 plus can’t agree to disagree, then we have to ask ourselves what is really bothering us? And what can we do to resolve our own issues without attacking others.

      Have a fabulous day!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote May 3, 2011
    • Thanks, Yana. I hope your day is Fabulous too.  

      Cathie



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Tstreets wrote May 3, 2011
    • I like the differing opinions, but I don’t think put downs are ok or personal attacks on ones character.  I was very careful when I chose my friends.  I read their blogs and many many comments.  I like my group and it was vikki who mentioned dashboard surfing.  I love it.  I cant go on very often but when I do I have a blast reading all the posts here.  I laugh and cry!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kandykahne 5 wrote May 3, 2011
    • Well said Vicki...great advice!heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote May 4, 2011
    • I totally agree Vicki!! That is what I’ve tried to say all along!! heartheart



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