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worried

ugh.

ugh!  

Ok so here I am at one of my closest friend’s houses. This person is a full blown alcoholic and has successfully ridden my last nerve. Drinking deal has been going on and off for years. Generally this person always remained functional.  

Over the course of the past few days, I’ve witnessed severe D.T’s mild shaking, drinking more- sometimes but not ll the time maybe thinks its hidden, like right now. It’s no secret that vodka is being consumed when this person leaves the room. You don’t even want to know how long I’ve been here. The friend here has refused any medical attention and is skin n bones-skinny from rarely eating.

This friend of mine is also a single parent. The other parent passed away a few yrs ago from too many pills. The kid is awesome. Nineteen, doesnt smoke, drink or get in trouble and on top of it, is extremely talented and funny. This kid knows about hs parent’s drinking issue and also notices that his one and only parent sleeps way too much and rarely answers the phone.

Im actually pretty suprised Im still even here.  

How selfish IS it of this friend anyway?! Trying to make the kid parentless altogether?? Damn it.... What would you do? Calling it as I see it hasn’t bdged the situation, not that I thought it would. I’m not a control freak like that anywa. It’s to the point now where we‘re all pretty worried.

Sorry for venting like this but this is really giving me some kind of headache and I cant watch it anymore.




Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Nov 12, 2010
    • Maybe your friend is depressed and should get professional help before it’s too late. You have every right to be worried, If It was one of my closest friends, I would be too. Maybe an Intervention kind of thing and try to get your friend to get some serious help. I hope it works out Jenz, prayers and thoughts going your way and your friends way.heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Nov 12, 2010
    • Sadly she really does not think she has a problem. The alcohol is also more important than anyone or any thing in her life.

      As Frannie said, some sort of intervention may be the only way to open her eyes.  

      Blessings being sent...
      heartheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote Nov 13, 2010
    • I’m of the camp that believes alcoholism is ... if not a disease, at least a physiological issue. It can rarely be healed without outside help: an intervention, a treatment center, or perhaps AA or some other group, or therapy. The problem is, if your friend doesn’t see it as a problem, it could be impossible to help her. Part of the problem of alcoholism is that the alcoholic tells herself she doesn’t have a problem. worried

      Besides an intervention, there’s very little you can do to help her. I’m just glad her child is grown and is doing okay.

      Love and compassion are the only ways through this.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mary Clark wrote Nov 13, 2010
    • Sad to say but there is nothing you can do at this point.  That person unfortunately has to hit rock bottom.  At least one of three things are going to happen...they are going to lose their job, lose their children, or lose their life or someone else’s.    

      They have to want help and ask for it.  But if they ask for help...someone from AA will be there to help them from the time they ask for it.  But the key here is...they have to ask for it.  This is a disease and it’s a disease they will deal with for the rest of their life.  If this person decides to go to AA ...they may have to go 3 times a day for a while to stay sober and to get help.  But whatever...they have want it and do it.  

      As far as their child.  I would talk to them alone and let them know YOU are here for them.  Since he is 18 years old he can make the decision to go to Al Anon.  This is a group to help people who are dealing with relatives or friends who are drinking alcoholicly.
      Check out this link:
      [Link Removed]

      I grew up with my best friend whose father was a horrible alcoholic.  It was not fun and I have a relative who is a alcoholic. She attends AA every single day and has for 3 years.  

      Intervention is fine but even after intervening...if they don’t want to go get help...it’s not happening.


      Maryclark, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Nov 13, 2010
    • You can’t help an alcoholic who does not want to be helped.  It’s as simple as that.  I’d just focus on being there for the kid, and be there for your friend to lean on IF they decide they do want help.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Nov 13, 2010
    • I can definitely see why you‘re feeling hopelessly disgusted. Must be gut wrenching to see her doing this to herself.  

      I’d offer to help the kid, be there for support. Does your friend have the money for a rehab  or hospital stay? Maybe he can talk her into it? And I’d tell her I couldn’t stay and watch her kill herself, she needs help I can’t give her, call me only when she wants to get sober.  

      The best of luck to her son, you and her.  

      Cathie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 13, 2010
    • Hi gals.
      Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and respond with your kind words and wisdom. Love ya all for that!
      My friend has been in treatment in the past and did the AA thing before. There's no secret here that there is a serious problem and my friend definitely doesn't deny it.
      I think the denial part comes in at times when I see the friend ‘weaning’ off of the alcohol, you know, that part of denial that says, ‘I can do it my way without professional help etc...’
      My opinion is, until it gets so bad that the person truly cannot take it anymore, if they‘re lucky enough to be able to MAKE the choice at that point, help will not be sought.
      It sucks!
      I hope and seriously pray that the adult-child of this person doesn’t become parentless because of this preventable disease.
      ugh

      I said to the person a few days ago, after I had gone to work on a day long shoot project, and I returned to find the person absolutely wasted, ‘What the hell? Do you need some sort of babysitter or something?’
      I’m only telling you that because it’s how it makes ya feel when you see something like that.  

      I will tell the kiddo that he can call me anytime if he needs anything. I wondered if that was OK or not. So, thanks for helping me see that idea with different eyes.



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