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I do not know if any of you ladies went through this when trying to bring you child/children up.

My son who is three years old,have a number of Godparents, who I am sure loves him dearly.  Mostly because he’s the child so many of them were waiting for my husband and I to have for like 11 years. So they SPOIL him.  (and I hate it)

My husband and I do our utmost best to instill in our son good manners, and good behavior.  We never let up, or just excuse him if he neglect to say yes/no mam yes/no sir, Thank you, your welcome, good morning/afternoon, sorry etc.

We don’t find it funny if he throws things instead of passing it properly, and we let him know it’s not nce to pull or yuck things from people.  He’s three years old like I sid, and we were instilling these things in him from he began to walk/talk.

He’s not to young too learn, for these are his formative years, and these years are the impressionablle years.  So we do our best not to let him get away with anything at all.

His Godprents, our family members on the other hand says “he’s just a baby“...“he’s a child, thats what children do“...“he’s being a child“...Oh how tose words irritate me.  

These will be the very same persons who will say “boy their son is rude“....“they ain’t teach him a ting“...“he needs discipline“.  Mind you he’s not a BAD boy, he’s active, but not at all rude.  I just don’t want him to be ill mannered to us or others.

We don’t like them undermining our authority, especially in his presence.  I get so upset, that I sometime don’t want him around these individuals at all.  They love to shower him with godies, and gives him whatever he wants, and let him do as he please.  We do not allow this.  And I am sure it confuses his,and leaves him thinking his parents are mean.  He cries to stay with them, or cry to go with them when they visit. (he’s a smart child, and uses psycology)

We’ve expressed this to them on many ocassions, but it all falls on deaf ears.

We really don’t want to deprive neither my son or our loved ones from having that relationship nd sharing love, but we am feeling maybe he don’t need to be around them.

What do we do...we want a well rounded child, who have rules and regulations to live and grow by.  We don’t beat him, but we spank him if the need arise.  We know that spanking isn’t always the answer, so we chastise him when we need to, but we also realize that the BIBLLE cleary states, thet to SPARE he ROD, you SPOIL the CHILD.

what are we to do? how did you handle this if you were faced with it, or is faced with it now?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 8, 2008
    • My husband and I have a three year old grand child. She’s nearby living with her mother and my husband’s ex wife, her other grandma. My step daughter is pretty good with discipline for the most part but her mother is extremely enabling and allows little Jazelle to get away with murder.

      My husband and I discussed it and agreed that we need to be a very big part of this child’s life. His daughter agrees so we are the ones who are teaching her manners and discipline.

      Fortunately you are “mom” so you are the one with the most influence.

      I’ll share this, sometimes my husband starts acting like the spoiling grandpa and says those exact words, “oh, she’s just a child.” I see the look on his daughter’s face and she has shared with me that she sometimes has to spend more than an hour undoing grandpa’s influence when she gets home. I will remind him, sometimes gently, sometimes firmly, that he may be Jazelle’s grandpa but Jessica is her mother and what she says goes. As hard as it is to hear sometimes, they have to be reminded of that. They get to play and have fun but the ultimate responsibility of raising the child on a day to day basis is in your hand.

      You are “mom.” What you say, goes.

      Best to you
      Cynthia



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Nov 8, 2008
    • Cynthia: I think that’s what grandparents are for are to spoiled - my grandma spoiled me to death and yes, my mother disciplined. Only thru both, I learnt unconditional love and self manner.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Nov 8, 2008
    • Thank you Teeky, I am trying my best, and I am of the belief thatif we raise up our child in the way he should grow, when he is old, he shall not depart from it.  I am of the firm belief that, if we give him an inch, he will take a mile, and we do not want to live to regret anything about his up bringing, wondering where we went wrong.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Nov 8, 2008
    • Chocolatier, Thats exactly how I feel, “I am the mom, and what I say goes”



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Nov 8, 2008
    • I agree that we are the ones, the parents, who are responsible for setting the tone as to how our children should be raised. We are extremely strict with our children and I am so thankful that as close as my mum and I are, she never interferes with the upbringing of our children. She is very much an‘Old School’ West Indian..where they whipped behinds just for blinking..lol...yet she never lays a hand on them, she allows us to be the parents. As far as other family member and friends, now that I think about it, no one around us uses the excuse that he/she is just a child, wow..we have a great network of discipinarians..lol

      boneified..you are gonna have to be tough with the people that your son comes into contact with. You have to explain to them that you have a certain way you want your CHILD to be raised and you would appreciate their co-operation in acheiving this, do it nicely so theres no tension, (You know the saying..You can catch more bee with honey?)..Yep...But also let them know that if they can’t respect your desires, that you‘re going to have to limit his exposure to them...

      Hope this helps..



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Nov 8, 2008
    • Thank you soulful.  I will take your advice.  My husband feels the way you do.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Nov 8, 2008
    • Just be nice and calm about it..lol..I know all about that West Indian fire you have inside...lol..but at the same time..no BSing around..be firm..with love



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Nov 9, 2008
    • Getting the point across to his God parents my be a dificult task.  But my husband and I are very good with discipline.  We are very firm, and we are consistent with our rules.  PJ is really a good child, my problem is when he just say Thanks, or yes...and not Thank You, or Yes Mam...or yucking things from people’s hand instead of taking it politely.  OH and now that he’s in kindergarten, he has this “hi” thing that he says to adults.  Oh that uopsets me, he’s 3, say hi to your friends,not to an adult.  I won’t let up, he’s our child, and he’s going to represnt us well.

      The word out there will be...“They brought him up WELL” inspite of.



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