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This was the weekend B and I were supposed to go to Nashville for a long weekend... stay in a B&B... just get away from everything and be together...  Then he broke up with me - out of the blues...  I’ve had my moments of intense grieving... and I’ve had my moments of moving forward... even went out to dinner with a guy friend...  but I’m just not ready to “date” yet....  

So things have been looking up and bright for me...  potential job offer coming tomorrow...  all good...  even though I’ve been a little down this weekend because I had been looking forward to seeing B....

Then I get a call from his sister-in-law who tells me B showed up at their house Friday night absolutely furious at them - particularly at her (sister-in-law) and 12-year old niece...  Sis-in-law left him an honest voice message saying she couldn’t talk to B right now because she’s still pretty angry about the way he ended things with me and how he told her...  Niece sent a letter telling him how upset and sad she has been...  B is now furious because he feels his family has ganged up on him - which they have not...  Anyway - all the details are not important...  except that he threw some ugly words at them all - and that’s not normal for B; not at all...  I feel so sorry for his family because I think B is so distraught by his decisions that he is lashing out at those closest to him and he has caused so much hurt.  

I’ve spent the entire afternoon and evening praying about this and I really believe if he were at peace with breaking up with me, it wouldn’t have been an issue to tell his family... and he would have handled their hurt so much better...  The other thing that has been made crystal clear to me is that B and I need to meet face-to-face to air some things.  I need closure...  I’m just not sure how to approach it all...

I know there will be many (most) of you who will tell me to just suck it up and walk away.  But it’s not that easy... and while many of you have had similar situations, and I honor that experience, this is MY journey (aka DRAMA!)...  So, I guess I write just to see my words more clearly - and should probably not even publish - but also just to ask you pray for me to make the right choices...  to listen to the right words...  

Thanks for listening to my ramblings....

Good night all....



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