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Some of you may have gathered through other posts, but it is official. My hubby is coming home. Which means we are not going to Colorado. I was really having a difficult time letting go, but God has granted me a measure of cheerfulness. I still have to continually remind myself of all the positives. Having my 7yo brighten my day with a bouquet of daffodils helped tremendously.  

I remember when we started talking about putting the house on the market. I had to spruce up the flower beds, and as I worked in them I mourned over my spring flowers. I have always loved daffodils, narcissus, irises, and other early spring flowers. They wake me from the doldrums of winter. They give me hope of escape from the dreariness of our rainy season. On top of the life-long love, I spent countless hours planting bulbs the year that Joshua died. It was past bulb planting season when he died so I went crazy buying hundreds of bulbs on sale. It just felt good to dig in the dirt. To plant something with the promise of life. Probably sounds odd, but it was very cathartic at the time. Then, as I worked in the beds this past fall (10 yr anniversary of Joshua’s death) I thought about leaving them all behind. I wondered if the new owner’s would dig them all up and plant something else. People are weird like that you know! Now as I see the thousands (yes thousands) of sprouts inching daily towards the sky, and I anticipate them in full bloom, I am relieved that we are not leaving them behind. Luke found some wild daffodils already blooming, and he picked them all and brought me a lovely little bouquet. I almost cried, and then the smile on his face when I told him he made my day was enough to erase my nostalgia.
There are so many other considerations, but just this one thing has lightened my spirits and made me smile more than once in the past few days. It really doesn’t take much to make me happy. estatic And it will be oh so nice to have Hubby back home with us again... just 12 more days.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • I’m glad you found something to lift your spirits, Dee Dee. I think you got a little message from someone up above. estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • The human spirit is so amazingly resilient! DeeDee, the flowers are such a beautiful way to remember Joshua! I can see how doing all that planting would be cathartic. I know you shall always miss him.

      As you tell your story, I begin to feel relieved for you that you aren’t moving after all. Who knows why you’ve all had to go through this transition, only to remain where you are. But you and I know God wastes nothing.  

      How delightful to receive such a lovely bouquet just when you needed it! I could kiss his little face myself! How blessed you are! Welcome your hubby home for me too!!! You all remain in my prayers.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dee Dee Shaw wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • Thank you both. His little face just beamed (and blushed a little) when I told him he made my day. He took them downstairs himself, trimmed the ends, and put them in a vase for me. I still don't think he knows just how much they meant to me.
      Cindy, I guess that is my real struggle. I am analytical. I don't just want to know why, I need to know why. God may never reveal it, and I'll be okay with it. I just try not to dwell on the financial aspect (all the $$ spent for 'nothing'.) I flip that over and tell myself how much more money we would have invested to move all of us out there only to discover that he was unhappy... and then have to uproot us again to move back. This option is much better, but I still ponder 'why', 'what are we supposed to glean from this'... it is just my nature!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • Dee Dee, you are such a great writer and I feel every word of yours to my heart.  Dream not just yours, dream not just his, dream together till you both satisfy.  Much love.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • yeah, we have that “need to know“, don’t we? But as you said, you may never know. But you won’t ever be the same. Neither will Clay(?). Something about struggle increases our trust. That’s always valuable and worth investing in!

      But, if you do find out, I hope you will share it here!

      Blessings,
      Cindy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dee Dee Shaw wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • China, You are so right. It was actually His dream, I was just anticipating following it with him. In my excitement... and subsequent disappointment, I forgot that. Thank you for reminding me!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • China, that was beautiful!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Martinilush wrote Jan 30, 2009
    • ChinaDoll - that comment you wrote was the best thing I have read all day!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dee Dee Shaw wrote Feb 2, 2009
    • time frame has changed - he’ll be home in 8 days. :)



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