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My parents passed away 4 months apart 9 years ago. I received a newsletter from a local hospital and read about a bereavement group “for the holidays“. It sounded like something that would benefit me so I went.

There, I met a lady named Patrice. We bonded quickly and when the 8 week group was over, we decided to join the next group together; “Loss of a Parent“.  

It was nice to go into a new group with a familiar face. I met some amazing people in that group as well. We all bonded pretty quickly. There was one lady, Vanessa, that kept to herself for the most part. She was angry at the death of her father. If I had to pick one person in that group I would LEAST LIKELY get to know and become friends with, it would have been her.

When the 8 weeks were over, many of us decided that we just weren’t done with each other. We continued to meet every week-same night and time-at a local restaurant. As time went on, people started to go their separate ways until we were down to 5.

Those 5 kept meeting every Thursday night for about a year. One of them moved up north and we were down to 4. We started to meet every other week as life caught up to us and then we were down to once a month.

The 4 of us split apart into groups of 2 and eventually those 2 groups went their separate ways.  

Who did I end up being the closest to? You guessed it, Vanessa.

The 12-15 people I met in that group met for a reason-the loss of a parent.

The 5 that met every Thursday for a year met for a season. We got what we needed from each other (this group includes Patrice).

Vanessa and I who meet up for lunch, talk on the phone every day, bitch about our husbands, go to the dog park, comfort each other when we are sad, would be there for the other 24-7 if we needed something - we met for a lifetime.

Grief brought us together. Friendship keeps us together.

Bittersweet.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Nov 1, 2008
    • Every story has a silver lining.

      We all need that special friend. So glad you found Vanessa.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Nov 1, 2008
    • What a great story! And so inspiring. Thanks for sharing.....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 1, 2008
    • Very sweet story! Friendship comes in packages of all kinds, doesn’t it? Thank you for sharing with us.

      Cynthia



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Gokittengo wrote Nov 1, 2008
    • That’s a really great story - thanks for putting it “out there“!   So often, it really does work out that you connect most deeply to those you resist the most initially.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Phillips wrote Nov 1, 2008
    • Great post. I lost my mother in 2001 and my father in 2005. I took care of my dad for 4 years after my mom died—he was a lost soul without her and I was his constant “date“. I didn’t mind one bit—more reliable than any man I met at that time! :)  It’s great to have the support of others who understand. My best friend lost her Dad about a year after mine. I find that I bond well with people who have experienced such a loss. I appreciate every day I get to enjoy the simple things because I know how much my parents enjoyed life.

      Love your post.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Nov 1, 2008
    • This was a really nice story...and the title is perfect.  It is very insightful...you really got a lot out of your support group.  I’m a firm believer that with most things in life, you get out of it what you put into it.  I suspect there are a few people thinking the same thing about you that you wrote about them.

      Good job working through your grief.  I’ve been there...it ain’t easy!



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