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It seems that the recession has already made some kind of impact on everyone's business. Is it surprising that it also made a dent in our sex life?

According to Dr. Ian Kerner, New York City-based therapist and the author of
Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parents' Guide to Getting It On Again "      

“In general, people are having less sex,” said Sex Therapist Dr. Ian Kerner, author of “Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parent’s Guide to Getting It On Again.”
“Fifty million people are stuck in a sex rut,” Dr. Kerner added. “The economy inhibits a person’s libido because they feel stressed and depressed.”
Kerner offers nine easy tips that allow you to reclaim your sex life and be on top of the game once again.    

1. Remember Nike's motto? Just Do It        

sex"It might sound silly, but just have more sex," suggests doctor Kerner. "Your mind has become habituated to not having sex, so it's hard to break out of it. You have to reconnect. Sex is its own aphrodisiac. When couples have a healthy sex life, they are in a groove, whether it's once a week, or twice a week."  

 2. Re-connect with your partner  

That doesn't mean it has to be physical.  "You can't just turn sex on when it's time to go to bed," Kerner said. "You need to build that sense of connection.”
A fancy dinner is nice, but you can keep it simple and just have a date night that will bring a smile on your face thinking about it the day after.

Staying positive helps.    

Couples argue about finances during a great economy, so it's no surprise that those arguments escalate during tough times. "Studies show that for couples to boost their sex life, they have to be positive," Kerner said. "It's easy to go home and talk about mortgages and bills, but if it leads to a negative cycle of communication, figure out a positive form of communication."  

Be careful in picking your battles, leave the blame out and watch the tone of your voice.

4. Take a deep breath and disconnect your gadgets    

"We're really becoming inundated with technology," Kerner said. "Couples are spending more time on Facebook and blogs. The next thing you know it's 11:30 p.m. and it's too late for sex. There's no urgent need to check your BlackBerry — your relationship has to be a priority."

Some of us are better communicators than others, and will tell you when they need attention. However, all of us are wired differently, but one thing is for sure, we all need attention, let's not lose sight of that.  

5. Staying healthy.  

   fruitdrinkHealthy lifestyle equals healthy sex drive.
“It’s easy to binge at the end of December with the holiday eating and drinking,” Kerner said. “Get healthy and remain healthy. It will increase your sex drive, and exercise will boost your self-esteem, which is crucial to enjoying sex.”  

6. Fantasize to a better sex life.  

According to Kerner, it's important to understand that sex, especially in a long-term relationship, is mental, therefore it's important to spice things up.
"In sex, you often do the same things, rely on the same moves," he said. "Share a fantasy. Or, if you feel your partner is lacking in attentiveness, instead of criticizing, express it in a sexy way."    

7. Don't Nag... Ask.  

"A lot of women aren't interested in sex because they have other things on their minds like chores, dirty dishes, and men can't always appreciate that aspect," Kerner said. "If men help and create an environment where women want to have sex, that's really important."
Finding a way to ask your partner for help and perhaps doing chores together, will benefit not only you but your sex life.

8. Women Over 40 Don't Need To Fake It.

Be honest.    

"One of the benefits of being in a relationship is that sex isn't perfect — guys are subject to their issues, women are subject to theirs. If in '08 you were saying something didn't matter, [maybe] it does in '09. Sex changes from year to year and '09 is a new year." Dr. Kerner said.      

9. Making Your Love Bed.      

According to Kerner, surroundings have a lot to do with your sex life. If you are still sleeping on the sheets that your baby peed on a decade ago, and your bedroom doesn't seem like a room you would like to spend lots of time in, maybe it's time for a change? Kerner suggests turning your room into a "love nest"    

"Put a little more energy into your surroundings," he said. "Create a surrounding that appeals to your senses."

So why put our love life on hold? Let's get started today by turning our bedroom into a sexy place that you both enjoy. You can get a great deal on sheets at places such as Marshal's, lighting scented candles, and turning on your favorite CD will get the show started and put you in a sexy mood.

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