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I am a reluctant cougar thrown to the wolves, or so it feels that this is a correct resemblance of my situation.  And I'm not sure I can hold my own against this pack. Neither am I sure of the label either, but I don't worry about it, as only I can define myself. People can add labels (and do) to whatever they need to to make sense of their world.  That's fine, I don't want to be a hypocrite, I know there are areas, and people, I label as well. Honestly, tell me you don't. At all.  I did inquire and ask a few women, and men, about their definition of the term cougar.  I told them my definition, that I thought of the older, wrinkly woman in animal print clothing, throwing money at younger men in their desperate desire to be adored, loved, and younger.  But I was told that is the definition of a 'sugar mama', not a cougar, and there is a big difference.  It appears that sugar mama's are what younger men 'tolerate' in order to enjoy the lavish gifts of money, travel, etc.  Like a younger woman with a sugar daddy, yes? But a cougar is sought after by a younger man. They desire her for her intelligence, beauty, experience and independence.  And often, they are the prey, not the predator.  Younger men tell me they feel liberated by this new turn and acceptance of this new phenomenon of ‘cougar‘.  They tell me they have always desired this, but have kept it 'hidden' or coveted it in others because it was not socially 'acceptable'.  Apparently thanks are to be offered to Demi and Ashton.  So, with that new knowledge, if you choose to embrace it, I feel a bit (only a bit) better about this 'label'.  I will share some of my experiences out of my apparent cougar naiveté.  

I have been single for 2 1/2 years.  I am apparently attractive, long dark hair, in good shape, genetically fortunate to look at least 10 years younger than I actually am.  It's actually ironic that people have been telling me for quite a few years that I look like Courtney Cox, and now she has her hit series 'Cougar Town'.  That being said, that may explain why the only men that even attempt to approach me are too young to remember Gilligan’s and/or the TV version of Charlie's Angels.  It’s flattering, don’t misunderstand, but it’s also very disheartening.  I would enjoy a man my age, and his experience, intellect and independence. Though I will state,  I have actually been impressed with 2 of these young men.  One is 27 and has been to every continent on the earth. He can read Salman Rushdie in 2 different languages; he always has his head in a book, or is at his computer writing. He owns his own home, has a beautiful car, fun motorcycle, pays his bills (seriously, that’s a big deal), works, and is finishing college. His manners are impeccable, and he is quite eloquent and articulate. Not to mention, he has to be the most beautiful human being I have ever laid eyes on.  The first time he came around the corner at the restaurant he works at, where I was dining, I remember grabbing the arm rests' of my chair because I seriously thought I was going to fall over from the overpowering response my brain, and body, felt in looking at this beautiful man. I was, literally speechless. He had shoulder length black hair, light brown skin, beautiful seductive gold-brown eyes, and a perfect lithe swimmers body. And as I was just newly single, I was also naive about this ‘cougar’ thing.  I had not even heard the word.  I started dining at another restaurant, very expensive, very inviting, and right next to where I live. Convenient, right? No.  Next thing I know, as I am getting ready to order with my children next to me, here comes the beautiful and God-like man-child to wait on us. He informs me his name is Jordan, and that he remembered me from the other restaurant.  Apparently they are 'sister' restaurants owned by the same family.  Again, I couldn’t speak. He asked if I would like a drink, I nodded, but had difficulty making my request. I was embarrassed, as he waited patiently, smiling that perfect smile. This interaction made for a very interesting and unnerving dining experience with lots of sexual tension on my side.  But seriously, why would I think someone like that would be interested? Besides, he was 17 years my junior.  

So, for the next year, I continued to dine at the restaurant with friends and family, and even a date or two. And each time I was there, I would be told, “Kathy will wait on you tonight“, or “Michael will be your waiter tonight” or “Anthony will be taking care of you tonight“, and each time it turned out to be Jordan. He requested to wait on me when I came in. I had no idea that he was interested, it went completely over my head, probably because I wasn’t looking for it.  One night, a beautiful summer night in June, I had a blind date, a friend's request. I sooo did not want to do this, but he agreed to take me to my favorite restaurant. So I showed up early and approached Jordan. I told him my plight and requested he bring me a big big glass of red wine, which he did as he laughed and humored me. He was always so easy going with me, and I should add, that he was very familiar with my kids.  He always remembered their names, and what they had talked about last time we were in; very polite, very genuine.  So as I drink my wine, and request more, my date arrives. This man said he was 52, there was no way he was a day younger than 67.  I saw Jordan smile at me as he walked away, shaking his head slightly, and as per the usual experience, he was our waiter that night. As he proceeded to wait on us, this gentleman informed me that he felt Jordan was interested in me. I was stunned and of course, there was no way possible that was true. I told my date that I often dine at the restaurant and that Jordan has waited on me and my children, friends, family etc., for some time and that he is just being friendly and knows that I’m a good and loyal customer. This man had the nerve to shake his head at me and told me I was naive. I wasn’t too thrilled to hear that, so I just brushed it aside and continued with other conversation during dinner.  After the date (and thank you lord, it was over!), I went home and wondered if this gentleman had tipped Jordan appropriately, he seemed like kind of a tight ass. So I called the restaurant, and Jordan answered, I asked him if he had been tipped adequately. He said that it was ‘fine‘, no worries. I could tell it wasn’t. I felt awful and told him I would take care of it the next time I was in. He said I shouldn’t worry, and that it would be great just to see me come by again, as usual.  I hung up the phone, and pondered the tip plight. I hear a tone on my phone, it’s a text, and it says ‘Is this Celine?’ I reply, ‘yes, who’s this?‘. Ping back...‘It’s Jordan, from the restaurant‘. I couldn’t figure out how he had gotten my number, but I wasn’t upset about it. Then I remembered I had made the reservation and used my cell number for confirmation.  I replied ‘Oh, Jordan, sorry again about the tip, I will take care of it soon‘. send. Ping back ‘Not worried about it, just wondering if I could see you sometime away from the restaurant‘.  So here is where the naiveté is obvious. I’m thinking... hmmm I guess he wants to ask me some information about school. We had previously talked about this and he was curious about my graduate degree and the process of that.  ‘Sure, I’m home just about to open a nice bottle of red wine, from Greece. Gift from a friend, your welcome to stop by‘. Send. Ping. ‘That would be great, I’m just finishing up here. I know you just live around the corner, what’s the exact address?‘. I send it to him.  I’m still oblivious to any interest what-so-ever. I straighten up a bit, get out a second glass, he arrives. I invite him in, we sit and chat for a moment, and then he asks me if I want to take a ride on his motorcycle, it’s a warm night and he knows I love to ride. So, I say sure, let me change out of these shoes into some proper boots to ride.  I'm feeling a bit heady from the wine, but also his presence. I don’t remember the last time a man looked so incredibly gorgeous and desirable. Seriously, after all this time getting to know him, I still felt like I would fall over every time he looked at me, every time he walked into the room where I would dine, every time he approached my table, every time he smiled. I would melt, and more. So understand how shocked and pleased I am that as I stand to change, he approaches me, and the look he has, well no woman can mistake it when it’s that heated. Next thing I know, I’m being quickly, and passionately slammed into the wall in the most sensuous kiss I have EVER experienced. I was not about to push away or back down. This is not an action everyone has an opportunity to experience, and I was not about to let it slip away. I was taking full advantage of this situation....

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      VICKY CORYEA wrote Jan 28, 2010
    • hahah    you go girl!!! I would not have backed down either!   really, I hate labels, but quite honestly people like to use them. I enjoy the company of younger guys. they are not “old” in their way of thinking, more stamina, and more wicked fun.I am a very young spirit stuck in an older body. I dont back down, I am really forward, so I guess if someone wants to LABEL me a predetor, well so be it...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Patina801 wrote Jan 28, 2010
    • Vicky, I admire your outlook :)  I am becoming a bit more daring as time goes on, not quite as conservative as I used to be, and apparently, not quite so naive either.  Bless your young spirit!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jan 28, 2010
    • I look forwards to hearing of more of your adventures...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Jan 28, 2010
    • Good evening. Cougar here- also single for 2 years. Does he have a brother? estatic

      You GO girl!! I mean..Cougar!  

      YEE HAAA!  

      Keep us posted. estatic  This is awesome.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Jan 28, 2010
    • You go girl!! I too look forward to reading more of your fabulous adventure estaticestatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jo46 wrote Jan 28, 2010
    • Whoa! For a minute there I thought I was reading a really good book but it’s even better then that...It’s real life!!!!  And don’t forget it’s YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Patina801 wrote Jan 28, 2010
    • Well, I’m happy to write about more of my adventures.  It’s fun to share happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Patina801 wrote Jan 28, 2010
    • Well, I’m happy to write about more of my adventures.  It’s fun to share happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Macy wrote Jan 29, 2010
    • Sounds absolutely wonderful, actually perfect, like from some romance movie. He sounds irrrisistable and at 27 mature enough for great converstion. Just lose the cougar label, I hate that term and the show Cougar Town, Courtney Cox is terrible in it. Try not to dwell on the label but rather the relationship, age is immaterial and when you find the right guy it just doesn’t matter.
      In saying all that, one thing always comes to mind ... where will he be when he is 44 and you are 61?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Patina801 wrote Jan 29, 2010
    • I don’t have a relationship with Jorden at this time... He is a fabulous person, but too young for me to take seriously as far as a committed relationship.  Plus, we have some other differences that while we respect in each other, are not compatible.  I’m still seeking the balance between passion, maturity and age.  And for an opinion on the show with Courtney Cox? I don’t watch TV, so I have no basis to judge it myself, but I will take your word for it :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Macy wrote Jan 30, 2010
    • I too share your quest for passion, maturity and age, all thrown together in one nice fellow. It seems I find men with one of those attributes, but missing others I find key in a relationship. Saying all that I am still putting it out there to find the right guy. Sounds like you have your head on straight regarding this wonderful young man in your life, so kudos to you.
      By the way, you do really write well. :)
      Good thing you don’t watch TV, that show does not help our image as women in our 40’s, it is just not realistic.



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