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As I log into Eharmony and Jdate, doing my profile yet again for the third time, I am struck by the sad fact that I am still single.
Despite being engaged twice in the last three or four years (a fact that I am not all that proud of) I find myself alone again. Ok, both times I was engaged didn’t work , but was my fault. Well, mostly not my fault anyway...Both guys had too much emotional baggage to even think of being engaged to me. Unfortunately, not being the smartest person with relationships, I discovered it AFTER getting engaged!
Somewhere I read that the chances of finding someone at my age is pretty much comparable with the chances of winning the lottery, ok, maybe not that bad, but close to....I am independent, smart, financially stable, a good communicator and emotionally intelligent. Yet I am still alone.
This is a fact I would only share with my Fab 40 sisters, not with anyone else...On a good note, this morning when I went to Borders, I grabbed a book called “Love in 90 Days.“Browsing through the book, the first thing that struck me was the author’s comments to not be too picky when dating. Am I picky?
Another chapter recommends dating 3 guys at once. Is she serious? I have had one date in a month!
But, back to the too picky chapter...Am I?
Well, I have my dating rules...For example, I won’t date anyone who has not been married before or never had children. Am I missing out on Mr. Right who might be childless and never married? Just seems to me that guys our age that have never been married or had kids are probably professional singles or so career orientated that they can’t make room in their lives for me AND my wonderful drives-me-nuts teenaged son.
Not to mention, my two cats and two dogs... So any pet haters are off my dating list.
I probably AM too picky, as the don’t  and won’t dating list is longer than the do and will list for dating...But I am looking forward to reading this book and finding love in 90 Days. I will keep my Fab 40 sisters updated.  

 Will it happen? Stay tuned....
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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Feb 23, 2010
    • Wouldn’t it be more fun just to go out and possibly make new friends without it having to be about searching for Mr Right?

      This BTW is just MHO!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Feb 23, 2010
    • My advice why don’t you put all that energy into making  friends and going out having fun and then while your laughing and having fun you’ll meet the right guy ...

      just my opinion honey estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Barbara Http://www.wetutor.com/profiles/156 wrote Feb 23, 2010
    • Ok, I agree. But have you ever been to Vegas? Hard to find Mr. Normal much less Mr. Right here, lol.
      Good Advice and the book recommends it too...
      Barb



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Zena Coleman wrote Feb 23, 2010
    • I think it was better to find out they were wrong for you while being Engaded rather then after you got married,Mr right is out there for you.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Allinet48 wrote Feb 23, 2010
    • Leave yourself open to more possibities. Don’t narrow yourself to a list that some poor man has to measure up to. Put yourself out there and have fun.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Feb 23, 2010
    • I know a lot of single guys who have never been married and never had kids, and let me tell you, you‘re missing out on some great men.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda James-Laville wrote Feb 23, 2010
    • It’s a subjective world out there.  I don’t know that there are any hard and fast rules for finding the one you really love nor do I think they can only come in one size, one shape, one color or one financial, marital, emotional, inteligent quotient box. It’s a crap shoot, you don’t know when Mr. Right might step up in front of you and say hello. He might be a ditch digger for all you or I know! I hope not, but you never know, that’s what I’m talking about! Life is a gamble, each date is a gamble, each morning we wake up and get ready to face our day we‘re taking a gamble that we‘re going to make it through it and back into our bed at the day’s end.  Then it’s gamble whether we wake up in the morning to do it all over again.  I think the real issue here is how much fun are we going to have on this journey to whatever is out there for us?  How many guys can we go out with and spend time with and get to know whether they‘re the one or not? What are we going to learn from each experience and each person? That’s how I’m taking this because at 58 you don’t have a lot of room to be picky, afraid, timid or for that matter careless. Give yourself a break, it isn’t going to be easy and if it was you‘re probably not going to want him anyway.  LOL!  Good luck and wish me luck as well.   Linda



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Nathalie Girard wrote Feb 24, 2010
    • I agree with mrsjamaica, just go with the flow. Don’t look for Mr. Right, and don’t limit yourself to a type of packaging.  

      I met my husband two years ago, at the age of 38. I was in between jobs and countries and didn’t want a long term relationship. But he was a fun guy and we just went with the flow, thinking it was just a fling. I would of never imagined finding love with a Frenchman eleven years younger than me, and I wouldn’t even dare to dream to get married again. But life is full of surprises...you just have to be open to whatever comes your way.  

      Food for thoughts:

      “Life is limitless, every moment is filled with thousands of gifts. But, lost in your desires, blinded by your mind's demands and opinions, you do not see them or refuse them." (Rajneesh)



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Feb 25, 2010
    • I think in this day and age it is hard for many people to find the right person, everything is so fast and quick-paced, that slowing down and taking one’s time might be rewarding..believe me he is out there, you may be surprised one day.estaticestatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Timbuktu wrote Feb 26, 2010
    • Too picky or not too picky - that is the question. Having been there done that, I suggest not being too narrow in your search options, but do be picky when it comes to trawling through the profiles. As for the never-marrieds, well as you guessed there’s usually a reason, although I met one really nice guy who although never married had been in a long term relationship so it turned out he was pretty normal. Sorry to say, he didn’t think I measured up but that’s another story.  

      Good luck,
      Timbuktu



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Feb 26, 2010
    • the harder you look the longer it will be.
      just let it happen, have fun, and as said above...go with the flow!

      U cannot force it to happen.



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