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I didn’t want him in my life anymore so I left and we divorced and now he has a girlfriend and I’m sad.  I’m not sad because he has a girlfriend, well maybe just a little, but I’m more sad that I’m alone and he isn’t.  I know, it’s selfish but that’s the way it is! I spent almost our entire 38 year long relationship together trying to get him to connect to me and our kids and now he’s connecting with some strange woman none of us even know.  It just feels so unfair and, well, sad!




Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Apr 18, 2010
    • What you are feeling is normal. I have been there. It will pass, you will cry, be mad, sad and pissed off, but let him go. Get up, get out, change your thinking. Do what you do best. Permission granted to be emotional and include happy.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda James-Laville wrote Apr 18, 2010
    • Yes, I know but I have to whine, it feels better when I whine.  Thank you for your encouragement and I am trying to do exactly that.  :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote Apr 18, 2010
    • Linda, I’m so sorry you are going through this - and after 38 years of being together. Sweetie, if you didn’t feel sad (and mad and everything else) you wouldn’t be normal. Whining is totally legal right now!!!

      Men do seem to hook up with a new S.O. more quickly than women after a break-up. When my first husband and I divorced, he got re-married fairly quickly, and I stayed single for 7 or 8 years before re-marrying. I think men and women are often looking for different things.

      I hope you find a new man soon, if that’s what you want.  

      Thinking of you with love and light,
      Suzann
      [Link Removed] 


      Suzann, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda James-Laville wrote Apr 19, 2010
    • Thank you Suzann, yes I allow myself to whine at least once a day or it builds up and I explode and I really don’t like exploding LOL! I also try to vent by putting funny things on my website, things that make me laugh.  I’m a big laugher.  Anyway, yes I hope someone special comes my way and I get to spend time with a really good guy that will connect with me.  Thank you for reading and responding, it’s always wonderful to experience.  :)


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Apr 19, 2010
    • Hiya Linda....  

      My ex is on his 2nd girlfriend in just 5 1/2 months, but then he had the first one before we separated. We could have been married to the same man with them both distant and their hearts not in it for our marriages.  

      There is no changing them or going back. Mourn your loss you feel and then sign up for Singlesnet.com! (grin)  

      I’ve had 2 dates this past week First date was Ok and the second date was amazing and so much fun I’d date him again in a New York minute! It was an easy decision for me to start dating this soon because of all the years of being married like I lived alone, so our divorce is not a really big change in my life.  

      One day you will wake up and not feel like whining or feel sad or have regrets. You’ll see. ;o))  

      Hugs,
      Cathie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Hunnypot88 wrote Apr 19, 2010
    • I have felt the same way, I have been on my own for almost 4 years now and have met every loser in my state it seems. But I have accepted that I still have some growing to do, and to learn to be by myself and love it. I chose to leave after 20 years of marriage and I really expected to be in a relationship by now.....But that is not what has happened in my life so I have decided to stop looking for a man and enjoy getting to know me again. I do get lonely but I would rather be alone than with someone who doesn’t cherish or appreciate me. I believe in due time the right one will show up. Until than LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda James-Laville wrote Apr 19, 2010
    • Cathie and Hunny, thank you for your insightful words and wisdom.  Remember that old saying, “What’s in the way, IS the way.”  Well the sadness is in the way and we all have to go through it.  I had a very wise friend of mine tell me one time, before I divorced but I had left and was living on my own.  I was wondering if I did the right thing and she said, “If you look back, just the way it was, and you find comfort there, you should go back, but if you don’t, you made the right decision.  I am like you Cathie, I lived alone and the sad thing is I found that when I moved out I didn’t miss him, I missed my home and my daughter who stayed for a few more months, but I haven’t missed HIM at all because you can’t miss what you never had.  Thanks!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Apr 19, 2010
    • Whine away...it does feel good...I’m off to check your site estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rachel Gordon wrote Apr 20, 2010
    • What you are feeling is only natural . . . 38 years . . . heck, you would probably be missing jail too if you had spent that long inside!  It´s going to be a process and I would suggest that the best thing to do is to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling.  Those feelings will probably change moment to moment.  One thing I have learnt is that emotions are like buses . . .  there will always be another one along in a minute!

      What you are going through is a grieving process . . .  you cant go round it . . .  you have to wade your way through it and sometimes that is going to be painful.

      Just a thought: I would suggest that he may not be making any deep connection with this new woman.  He is still the same person as he was and it would be unlikely that he would suddenly have learnt how to open up and connect.  

      I have found Christian Carter very useful in sorting out my own relationship stuff, and one thing I know for SURE is I do not need a man in my life . . .  I may want one (and right now I have one) but I do not need one.  It took me a long time to learn how to be happy on my own and within my own skin but now I know that if I cant be happy alone I am never going to be happy with someone else.

      Read a great blog article a couple of days ago all about lots of wise stuff about all aspects of life.  Its definitely worth a read:

      [Link Removed] 


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda James-Laville wrote Apr 21, 2010
    • Thank you Rachel and Lola.  Remember that old saying, “Whats in the way is the way.” ?  It’s really true, there really is no way around it. You may be able to avoid it but sooner or later, it’s gonna get cha!  I’ll check out the link thanks!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Apr 21, 2010
    • Whine, whine and whine some more!!
      Big cyber huggzz! heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda James-Laville wrote Apr 21, 2010
    • thank you Tracy for that permission, I plan on doing just that!  LOL!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Karyn Olson wrote Apr 21, 2010
    • I can totally relate...after being separated for 10 or so years I still feel like that at times...the thing I notice it comes at the times when I find myself lonely...and as soon as that happens he seems to come to mind...I guess I am totally not over him but that doesn’t mean I want to or will go back...I am better off without him...so sorry to see that you are feeling like this...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Apr 21, 2010
    • whine when ever you need it! heartheart We all have to whine just a little bitheart



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