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I have been thinking this over for a week before finding the guts to write it down.
I think I have a positive self image. I have worked hard on my self image for many years. Still, the real problem I’m trying to address is so shallow. When I look in the mirror the person looking back is not the ladybug I have come to know and love for so long. She is a combination of my aunt and my mom and is older than I really feel. She also has all the health issues of a middle aged woman.
I got that out. My mom and my aunt were beautiful and strong women. One has passed and one has not aged gracefully. (her fault) I think I do all I can and should to take care of myself physically and mentally but....still....I guess it’s time to reach for the under eye concealer, ignore the wrinkled neck thing (there’s nothing I can do about that) and make friends with the spider veins in my legs. I will never be beautiful again the way I was for so many years despite my age. I know I’m 50 but at some point I have to face those words, in print, and carry on.
I WANT TO CUSS! %##$&(&#@^* DAMN IT
I was never much into makeup, is now the time?
Just what is aging gracefully anyway? Not bitching while you do it?
I’m not really this shallow but what should I do, have a funeral for the “gorgeous chick” I once was. Not that it ever got me anywhere anyway.....I feel pretty foolish right now, but, help.


Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuesday wrote Sep 18, 2008
    • Hi ladybug,
      You‘re thoughts aren’t shallow just normal things a lot of us think- how or if to age gracefully. The baby boomers are of the ‘fight like hell’ generation when it comes to aging. I don’t know what is right or wrong, fight or don’t fight.  I suspect that our feelings will not remain fixed one way or the other, so maybe you should just go with the flow and fight when you want, and accept when you want. Give yourself permission to fluctuate between the two states.  I think if something bothers you, (I have developed really dark circles recently, they bother and distract me.) I visit a lot of make up counters and have them apply their solution on me. If I don’t see a difference I don’t buy it. I talked to a doctor also, who recommended injecting something, ? restylane? . I am nervous about that type of thing. It’s also pricey.  I worry about safety. They say that there is a “shadow effect” and if you plump up the area, the shadow effect will  go away.  I visit the Benefit make up counter, their whole line is “corrective.” I would explore some make-up options, and see if you like it. I am buying formulas from Clinique and Benefit to hide rosacea etc.  I am 40 btw. For the first time I am really getting into fitness. I am consciously buying stylish clothes, it’s like a 2nd job shopping, but I make very focused decisions so I don’t waste money and soon I’ll have a wardrobe I feel good about. Make the most of your 50’s. Remind yourself that this is the youngest you will ever be again. Someday you’ll wish you were 50 again. I am inspired by some (not all) celebrities who are fit, like Madonna, etc. Take your inspiration where you find it. Maybe it’s someone who ages gracefully, maybe it’s someone who fights every step.

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