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Men love long hair...on women, that is.  No matter what your husband, lover, boyfriend or significant other may say, all things being equal, your guy would rather see your hair long and luxurious than short and stylish.  

This may not be exactly what you want to hear (especially if you just coughed up a ton o' cash on a fashionable, cropped do), but it is nonetheless generally true.  From the time we are little boys, along with "sugar and spice and everything nice," long hair represents to us femininity at its most basic level.  And as we grow, we come to associate long hair with such words as "beautiful" and "sexy," while with short hair, best you get is "cute."

Why is the length of your hair such a big deal for us?  Because we are visually oriented, and like it or not, how you appear is a primary factor in what attracts us to you.  In other words, long hair gets us hot.  And short hair gets us...lukewarm.  So it is a source of great frustration and disappointment to American men, that unlike their European, South American, Polynesian, and Asian counterparts, American women have a tendency to cut their hair as they age.  And what choice do you have?  If you don't trim your mane, you are subject to the ridicule of your peers who chide you for trying to look younger than you are (isn't that also the purpose of makeup, hair dye, Botox, and plastic surgery – all things that are much more generally accepted), or for looking ridiculously age-inappropriate (who exactly wrote the guidelines for what was age-appropriate – and what were their credentials?).  And then, strangely, after you've succumbed to the pressure of your short-haired sisters, you quickly join the chorus of derision aimed at others who have not yet seen the error of their long-haired ways.  

The bottom line is this: You may have simply given in to peer pressure, or actually find your low-maintenance, new quaff, "chic," but either way we are bummed.  In our minds, short hair makes you look more like the thing we generally find least sexually attractive...us.  

(C) 2008 David M. Matthews.  All Rights Reserved.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Beautifulbfly wrote Aug 6, 2008
    • Wow!  Great timing!  I was about to chop off my hair and now I’m not.  Thanks Dave!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daisy Shkolnik wrote Aug 8, 2008
    • Thanks David! This is reassuring because I am always back and fourth on the fact of whether I should cut my hair or not. This is just another reason to add my list of pro’s of why to keep my hair long.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Amy L. Harden wrote Aug 14, 2008
    • OH! David...you are driving me crazy here.  

      When I was younger I had long luxurious hair, flowing everywhere...Farah Fawcett would have been proud.  I had the fear of shears for many years.  As I grew older; had children...my long hair had to be kept back in a ponytail or french braided, so I didn’t end up looking like the Wicked Witch of the West by the end of my day. My long hair aged me, even when I spent the time to make it flow as it always had in the past.  

      At 42, I chopped all my hair off in to a “cute“, sassy, easy, manageable cut, highlighted it blonde...because I was quickly going grey...instead of looking sexy and feminine, I had started to look like the little old lady from Pasadena, not one of Charlie’s Angels.  At first, my husband and children were very unsure of this new look Mom had taken on.  All of a sudden, I looked young, vibrant...downright sexy...NOT just sassy or “cute“!  My teenage daughter’s male friends started commenting on how HOT their Mom was... I started getting hit on by all kinds of men at the grocery store, mall and gas station....Hmmmmmmm!....this doesn’t follow what you have written here.  

      I do believe you have stated the general consensus for the majority of men on the length of women's hair...BUT...if your lady can not wear her hair long and flowing any longer, if it drags her look down...ages her...getting a shorter, sassier, even sexy haircut is the cheapest form of anti-aging around.  Women know this because they have watched every anti-aging, make-over show that Oprah, Tim Gunn and Tyra Banks has produced... seeing other women with long hair going to a shorter one lose ten to twenty years off their appearance IS convincing.  You stress in your article that men are visual beings...so, which would attract you...a woman who has long flowing, grey hair that ages her or an older woman with a shorter haircut that makes her look like she is 30, instead of 50?  Few women of age can wear their hair long and flowing...PSST! It causes natural shadows to fall on your face, which makes your wrinkles stand out...this is why the short haircut works...it's all in the correct lighting.

      PS: you can see me with my long flowing Farah Fawcett hair in my Album here at Fab40...for some reason I couldn’t get this photo to insert here...maybe the computer knew better.

      PPS: I bought a wig with long hair just for those moments that my husband gets a “long hair jones on“...I think I have only worn it twice since I bought it and even then my husband begged me to take the wig off because I looked horrible in it.

          



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Skincaregirl wrote Aug 20, 2008
    • David, I love your articles and stories.  As women we need to hear what you have to say and it helps us confirm what men tell us.:)  Yes, as women we read into things at times.

      Speaking of long hair.  I keep my mane shorter these days because it’s easier to manage.  

      Hubby would love for me to grow my hair long again.  One day I will.  I told him I thought guys love long hair so they can pull it.:)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kirby Carespodi wrote Sep 20, 2008
    • Since I am terminally cute, I cut my hair (which looked AWFUL long) and went the route of Rosemary’s Baby Mama.  It suits me, so men love it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yogiguru wrote Sep 23, 2008
    • I started growing my hair out again 6 years ago. It’s halfway down my back. I’m so glad I did. I look better with long hair and if it’s not age appropriate, I say this......................WHO CARES?

      Men will comment on my hair a lot. I’ve had several people ask me if I have extensions. I tell them no, would you like to see for yourself?  

      I cannot tell you how many men tell me they wish their wives or girlfriends would grow out their hair. When their SO’s cut their hair, they are totally bummed.

      I think hair stylists don’t like women with long hair as it’s easier to deal with than long hair. I refuse to go to salons anymore because of that. I trim and color my own hair and it looks great.

      David your comment about the short haired sisters is right on the money. It’s a shame that most women dress for other women. Since I’m not dating women and I’m a heterosexual, I like long hair not only for myself but for the men I date as well. One can say that’s all Phyllis Shafely (sp) thinking but I don’t care. Men like women because they look different from us.

      Example, one night I went to a gala event with a cocktail dress and hair all fixed up all goddessy like, curled it, etc. I got dirty looks from women and accolades from men. How sad is that?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deb B wrote Nov 11, 2009
    • WOW! The stereotypes are really true!
      I am sure it never crossed your mind when you wrote this blog about short versus long hair. Also, I’m sure it never crossed your mind in your blog about breasts. So I will just share this with you...from a different perspective.

      Two years ago this month I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I am thankful to say that I am doing very well today.

      At 43 (you can see at the link below) I was single. Then it was me and breast cancer. Then it was me, breast cancer and chemotherapy. My hair was below my shoulders until the 16th day after my first chemo. Then it was all gone.

      I felt as if I was being vain to worry so much about my hair. However, talking about my hair kept me from thinking about the fact that I had cancer and it could kill me.  

      As my body changed drastically every 3 weeks to the next treatment. I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror or my reflection in the windows I would walk past.

      I had so many questions running through my hairless head. Who am I? Who am I without “my look“. Am I still feminine without my hair? Am I still feminine without my breasts? Would I ever feel “sexy” again? Also, occasionally as crazy as it sounds, my mind would wonder and think “will any man ever want me again“. At 43 I felt like my life as “a woman” was gone. Now I was a cancer patient (period).

      The irony in this for me was that I started to see more of my true self. For me I learned that I wasn’t my hair. I wasn’t my breasts. I wasn’t a person defined by having a man.  

      Many women I have come to know have struggled and are struggling in similar ways as they fight through chemotherapy. All that society deems feminine seems to be taken from you in a very public way. Yet, if feminity is soo associated with vulnerability and weakness; then a woman without her hair and without her breasts is the epitomy of feminity.

      I am 45 now. I am healthy. I am feminine. I have some hair :)
      “Breast Cancer Chemotherapy The road from long hair to no hair now some hair”
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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jana Toohey wrote Nov 12, 2009
    • You go Deb.. There is no journey more valuable than the one where you learn you are So Much More than your Hair/Breasts/Ass - whatever. Congrats to you on the opportunity to figure that out. When I surrendered my own breasts to cancer, I can Not imagine my man caring more about that than my life.

      I think the stereotypes are only true on the surface. When faced with the opportunity we are all capable of going deeper.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Faye43 wrote Dec 10, 2009
    • estaticestatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Susan McCord wrote Apr 27, 2010
    • Great to hear all the comments ladies! We are all beautiful in our own unique way. xo



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