When difficulty seems insurmountable, the tendency is to look for blame on the outside, and think that being rid of what we blame is the solution. We may think there are no options, that things cannot be salvaged because the love is gone, that the relationship cannot change because our partner most certainly will not change. The fact is, in life there are always many options, love is always a choice, and change happens only when we change.

For anything to change in life YOU must change in consciousness. Nothing changes until you do because YOU are the creator/attractor of all that appears in your life.

I can hear all the objections.  "He just isn't the man I married anymore", or "He doesn't [blank] me enough" (insert your favourite word in the [blank]...respect, love, understand, care about, thrill, etc.) So how is that my fault? Well firstly, there is no fault or blame. There is only the experience of what is, and the experience is personal and wholly dependent on perception.  

There are no observers in life; so when you change your perception and experience, 'what is' also changes. Perception creates what will be. In other words, when you perceive your relationship in a manner where you are no longer feeling mistreated or irritated with the situation, the situation will also change to match your new feelings. You may say, "yes I've heard it all before with the law of Attraction teachings", but the important consideration is have you EXPERIENCED it?  Because once you do, you'll never want to blame again and you'll never derive satisfaction in negative perceptions There is no feeling more exquisite than the feeling of personal power as you direct everything in your life through your innocent perceptions that bless all they see.  

The fact is, in order for another to treat you poorly, you have to be allowing it energetically, or it cannot take place in your reality.  In order for your partner to disrespect you, for example, you must also disrespect yourself at some level or it simply could not enter into your perception and experience. And you probably also are disrespectful to him, or perhaps to others in your life.  

If you clearly desire more love in your relationship, all the energetic blocks that are preventing you from having that will become apparent to you through outer circumstances. Your clear desires call forth experiences (messages) to help you fulfill them. Don't shoot the messenger because he's very useful!  Embrace the experience and clear and heal what needs to be shifted.  So when you experience disrespect, rather than blame the other (which is like shooting the messenger), you must look inwardly and see how you believe in disrespect as a valid response. Look to where you disrespect yourself, your body, others, etc. Become conscious of it all, say sorry to yourself for believing all those lies, and choose to feel and engage in life differently, OUT OF RESPECT for life and choosing to be gentle to it.  As you change in consciousness toward love, your electromagnetic radiations change, and you attract a whole new set of outer circumstances. This is the law of Attraction in action.

While your partner may well need to change for your relationship to work, it is not the 'external' partner that must change—that person is an effect of your consciousness—, but rather it is the 'internal' partner that needs to change. The 'internal' partner resides within YOU. You change your 'partner in you', which amounts to a change of consciousness, and the 'external partner', the effect' will also change. You, as consciousness, are at cause for everything that appears in your life.

In effect, at any point in time there are multiple versions of a person that you can tap into and 'manifest' in your reality. In the unconscious is to be found the abusive or angry insensitive spouse as well as the incredibly caring and gentle one, and many variations in between—the version you summon to your reality depends on your electromagnetic radiations. Change your radiation to self-love, worthiness, etc. and you will summon forth a much nicer version of your spouse, and in the process, you grow and expand in consciousness. And there is no limit to this process as your potential magnetic frequency is infinite.

If your current partner has that as potential in them, then they will shift to that version of themselves outwardly—in effect you are shifting into a potential parallel reality and activating it as reality. If that partner does not have that potential within your time frame, he will fall away from your life, but it will happen in a loving manner rather than in bitterness or disappointment.  

Too much water under the bridge perhaps? Then consider the other reason in favor of taking inward action:  you cannot leave a situation without exiting it with love.  If you leave with bitterness or blame, the essence of the dysfunction walks away with you. Outer circumstances may look different, but you'll still be on the same bridge. The 'situation' was created from an energy imprint in you, and fortunately, you can't run away from yourself. If you want to leave a bad situation, you must clear the energy imprint that generated it in the first place, lest you recreate it with another hapless partner waiting in the wings.  

In order to clear the dysfunctional energy imprint in you, you need to accept and understand your current situation and your part in it, then resolve all that is locking you into it.  

There are five steps that must be tended to, in order to change anything in your life. Fulfilling each of these five steps brings you increasingly into deeper electromagnetic resonance with your true desires. And when you are in complete resonance, the manifestation of your desires is guaranteed.  

These steps are:

1-Acceptance: know where you are and what energy imprints are actively creating your reality.
2-Clear hooks and identification with your current dysfunction.
3-Resolve neediness and hidden agendas in terms of what you think you want.
4-Clear resistances to having your desires fulfilled
5-Know that you have those desires fulfilled NOW—be in the energies of their fulfilled state, mentally and emotionally

Acceptance

The first step in transforming something is to accept it—without acceptance, it locks into your reality. Why is this?  

Your power is always exclusively in the now, and you must be present to something in order to exert power over it. When you resist current conditions, they are never in the now moment—the only moment of power. And so you cannot transform something without first accepting it.  Not accepting yourself and your life in the present yet trying to reach for something else is like wanting to go somewhere without knowing where you are. It's difficult to take any direction with conviction, since you really don't have an overview of the land you must navigate in. Acceptance is like getting your bearings so that you can move on resolutely.

When you accept current conditions and understand how your inner reality is allowing them, you can begin to change inwardly in a manner to support the desired transformation. You will also come to appreciate the experience for what it is providing you: the opportunity to consciously transform and grow. And when you can be grateful for the experience you underwent, you can easily leave it behind.  

Acceptance does not mean you love the actual limited conditions, nor does it connote passivity; it means you accept that you are in process in life, and you love the empowerment that the limited conditions are affording you.

Clearing Hooks and Identification with the Dysfunction

If you see yourself as a victim, for example, you have probably worked it into your reality as an 'advantage' in some manner You may be needy of the sympathy you get from your friends, you may be friends with other victims, etc. As another example, our current situation may be holding you back from what you desire but also fear doing. You may not think you can achieve greatness, and being held back is a welcome excuse. We tend to use our limitations to avoid our fears. This hooks us into current dysfunction, making us subconsciously very resistant to change.

Resolve neediness and hidden agendas

You can only get what you want when you stop wanting it. In other words, you get what you want when you are no longer needy of it. And the way to stop wanting it is to fulfill the want on the inside.  You do this by processing what your desired reality would give you in terms of a mental and emotional state, and then you work at generating that state internally.  

Suppose you want a loving relationship to feel validated.  You are radiating lack of validation and worth, and any relationship you create will highlight this. Even if your partner starts out open and loving, your neediness for validation will be alienating in some manner and the relationship will be difficult and will highlight your sense of lack. For example, you may become mistrustful, because you don't feel worthy and this may cause your partner to feel claustrophobic.  

Your power of attraction is in your what you radiate. When you are needy, you radiate lack of whatever you desire, and therefore you will attract more of that lack in some way.  In this example, your partner's resistance to your possessiveness will make you feel more unworthy and invalidated.  

If you will process through your desires and get to what you are needy of, you can fulfill those needs on the inside. When you are mentally and emotionally fulfilled, you will radiate the vibrations needed to attract your desires in outer form.  In this case, you would feel deserving of this partner and issues of mistrust would not even enter into the relationship.  

Clear resistances to having your desires fulfilled

Resistances to what you desire will prevent you from having your reality mentally and emotionally, which are necessary precursors to having your desires in form. You may long for a relationship in which there is great love and support, yet are reluctant to be intimate and vulnerable. Yet, you can't have true love without the ability to be intimate and vulnerable.  When we resist what we desire, we create wonderful futures and simultaneously break them down, which results in stagnancy. Nothing happens on the outside, even though whole worlds are continually birthed and killed off inwardly.

Again, processing through our resistances and working toward clearing the fears is the way to get what we truly desires. There is no magic partner that will melt away all our fears. There is a precise science to attracting your desires, and wishful or fantasy thinking will not get you what you want.  

 Know that you have those desires fulfilled NOW*

You must ongoingly generate the energies of your desires in their fulfilled state, in order to become consistently magnetic and attract them in form.  A little secret of manifestation is that you can only have what you are conscious of having. In other words, what you know you have in consciousness will be proven to you in outer reality.  

When you know you are worthy, valid, capable of intimacy, able to commit, etc. you know you have the qualities for a loving relationship. When you also know how outer reality is generated, then you know in consciousness that you have that loving relationship. You then radiate certainty and your vibration is consistently magnetic to your desire. And that is the point at which the loving relationship will become powerfully attracted to you. Then it is just a matter of time, as all the necessary elements converge into manifested reality.  

The five steps presented above are covered in detail in various articles that you can get by joining the Inner Mastery Tools email list at [Link Removed] 

These five steps are also part of the clearing and reprogramming that the Affirmation Enhancer Tool automatically implements. This Tool is a breakthrough in healing technology for use in personal healing. It accelerates you toward manifesting your desires, by implementing body codings that will move you through these steps energetically. You can read about it and experience its power by going to [Link Removed] 

bq. There is so much support and understanding about how we create reality that everyone can learn to take charge of their lives and move it in desired directions.

The question of whether to stay or go is really the wrong one.  The relevant question is: what do you desire in a relationship, and are you closing the gap between present reality and that dream relationship in your consciousness?  

The solution to life problems is never a change of outer circumstance—it is always a new state of being. The gap between present reality and your dream life is bridged by your consciousness as an energy frequency.  

There are really only two options in life, change inwardly and grow, or resist change and experience the same pain, perhaps with changing scenarios. Isn't it time to choose the gentler, more creative option?

Anita, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.