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Ever wonder how people keep the stars in their eyes after years of marriage?  When so many of us are rolling our eyes and counting the long list of infractions of our spouses, some seem to weather time better than others do.  I thought I would share some tried and true strategies that seem to keep our relationships simply moving forward.


Not dating others!  Dating each other!  How many of us fall into the pattern of focusing on everything else in our lives besides our partner?  I remember a number of years ago, my husband and I were going through a difficult time.  My mentor had recommended a weekly date night.  I looked at him as if he was nuts.  I just wanted to get over the hurdle that life had handed us and he was suggesting dinner and a movie?  Please.  At the time, I thought it was the silliest thing ever.  I didn't even want to do it.  I wanted to concentrate on the issues at hand.  However, my mentor is my mentor for a reason.  And I decided to listen.

Because of work and babysitting issues, our date night ended up being Monday nights.  Every Monday we would drop off our kids and head out.  Dinners out, dinners in, shopping, movies, taking a walk.  At first, it didn't seem like much, but over time, I began to get very excited about Monday nights.  It was the one day a week that wasn't about kids or mortgages or doing chores.  It was just us, hanging out together and working hard to find something interesting to do on a Monday night.  (Sometimes easier said than done.)

It was amazing how effective date night was in simply getting us through a difficult time.  The result was remembering what we loved about each other, remembering what really mattered.  The crisis of that time passed, but we kept dating and it really made a difference.

Consider starting a date night with your significant other.  Commit to it each and every week and see what happens.  Just remember these tips.

1. Don't stop after just one!  My husband and I laughed at how poorly our first Monday night date went.  Stick with it.
2.Commit. Get a babysitter, mark it in the calendar and don't let life get in the way.
3.If your partner resists, just be patient. They will hop on board before you know it.
4.Consider having a babysitter out of the home, so you can stay home if you choose. My husband used to drop off the kids and I would get ready while he was gone. It felt like I was single again!
5.Try new things.  Have fun and break out of the ordinary!

Check out my website and  Simpl - e Put Together newsletter with tips and tools for living well.

What do you do to keep your relationship alive?


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