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Today is one of those days I wish I could just wake up in the morning and take my night clothe off when ever I want to and do anything I want.

I get up every morning and it is the same old same old. Everything I do is for someone else or something else. I love my family but I just wish some times that they would all just do for me what I have been doing for years for them. I am tired of seeing the kitchen, washing machine, ironing board, the broom, the mop and the dogs.

I just want to do the things I use to love to do so much. Like listening to music when I go to bed but I am so tired I fall asleep in mid air each night and most mornings I wake up as if I got run over by a truck while sleeping because of this nerve in my neck.  

I wish I could read as much as I use to. I have a book that my daughter gave to me for Christmas about four years ago still reading. I have not even reached the middle.

I would love to watch a movie on Life Time and cry, but between the kids and my loving hubby I have to watch the news, sports events, cartoons or all the teenage stuff.

I have to actually beg to get the computer to come on this site or wait until the kids are in bed or my husband is occupied with the news.  

I would love to go shopping alone for stuff just for me without having to hurry back home. And sometime to visit my friends and sit and talk and have a good laugh without my husband calling all the time to ask if I am not done yet.I need some me time with lots of pampering. When will I ever be able to have this.




Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Jun 11, 2010
    • I hear you!  I have time to do what I want, but I’m divorced and my house is a mess!  You keep everything (family and household)going, but at a large personal cost.  What happened to the days when the kids did a lot of chores?  I remember cooking, washing dishes, ironing, etc when I was a kid.  My daughter unloads the dishwasher and does an occasional load of laundry and that’s it.  I hope you get some time off soon!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jun 11, 2010
    • Sounds like we are living the same life! I hope you can get some “me ” time soon! We all need that! heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Brimstone1968 wrote Jun 11, 2010
    • Just a suggestion.  Pick a night and tell hubby and the kids ahead of time that night from 6-10 (whatever is your best time) will be your “me” time.  Serve them notice.  On that night you do what you want.  Go by a friend, go to the movies with friends, go out with girlfriends, try new make up, cordinate your clothes, take time and really do a home facial or some sort of spa.  Whatever time you choose whether day or night tell them ahead of time and stick to it.  You need that time to recharge.  Love ya and praying that you get the time soon.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • i feel the same way you do Jank..and ontop of all the things for my children, i was taking care of my parents... ( they have passed away this year, feb, and april ) so its back to being the “normal” needed things,, lol

      im tired.. physically and mentally you know..i remember about 2 weeks before my momita passed away, my oldest( 23 ) daughter and i went to the store... momita wanted to buy my son(16) 2 pairs of shoes and my youngest daughter(12) a bike and we were loading the bike into the car, and my mom called me crying...“when will you be back” i just shook my head.. lol  

      i feel like life is passing me by FAST!!! lol so lets try to figure out HOW we get out “ME” time!
      heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • I think somewhere along the way we have allowed our nurturing side to take over and eliminate the fact that we are women 1st. I think we all need to stand up and revolt against this thing called nurturing and demand to be nurtured in return.

      Ok....estatic

      But seriously now...... who will take care of the kids, hubz, parents and all the other things you do if you‘re not there? Seriously what would happen if something happened to you? What would they do?

      They would adapt!!!

      No matter what you do or don’t do you are loved by your family. It’s not your works that makes them love you. They love you because you are their bearer of lifeheart

      So while you will go thru withdrawals and feelings of guilt and they will whine and piss and moan it really is important to have a slice of your own life to live. For your own piece of mind.

      Go ahead and tell your family that today you are doing nothing but relaxing and enjoying yourself! Are you the only one who is NOT allowed to be selfish? Teaching kids how to do for others is a step in teaching them not to be selfish. And honestly I have never heard any parent say “Oh I am so proud of my child and their selfishness“!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Victorious wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • Thanks guys....They are moments when I feel guilty for feeling the way I do as yes, they make their beds even though at times I have to remind them and they have to clean up their rooms every week end and my daughter has to wash the dinner dishes on the weekend and they have to wash what they eat out at dinner time during the week. But for all these stuff I am the one to remind and do what is necessary for having every thing done. I am just burnt out and need to focus on me for a change...Even though I realize this, I find it very difficult to demand this as the nurturing side of me does feel guilty. One day is not enough for me but it is a start. I have concerns about my health. I do believe that once I take care of this I will be better able to take control and cope with some stuff. But our circumstances does not allow me to right now. It will change soon but I so tired of waiting....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • I’m sorry you‘re feeling this way frown
      can you get an hour a day to yourself? Is that asking too much from your fam? For your own health you may need to consider being selfish. In the meantime hugs and prayers for you my friendheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • I’ve been there, and right now I sort of still am..I’m divorced with 2 teenagers on vacation and they are ready to go home, I had a meltdown and explained to them that the last year and a half has been torture for me with two back surgeries and still recovering and I needed the time away and lots of “me” time....it wasn’t until I threatened to have tham pack their stuff so I could send them back home in a bus that they relented...they are trying to enjoy visiting with my auntie, who loves to spoil them...but I just needed to get away...and I still struggle with the guilt of wanting/needing “ME” time...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie66 wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • I use to feel that way and every onces in awhile I still do.. I have a house full of guys and I do all of the housework but I told the guys that they need to help too because I’m not the only one living here. I don’t ask for much but they have to do for themselves as well.. I don’t touch their rooms, so they know they got to get it done.. There is time when I do have “ME” time, when I go get my nails done or a friend invites me to go out to eat or watch a movie, but I’m always getting calls or text messages from either my kids or hubby.. I feel guilty when I have that time to myself especially when I go out and they are calling or texting me.. But if they can go out and have their time with friends then why can’t I.. The boys know how to wash dishes, wash clothes (which they help me with)and even cook, Thank God I don’t have to worry about that when the time comes that they move out..
      Talk to your family let them know that you need help around the house, your not asking for alot but even if it’s just alittle bit of help that will make a big difference in taking some load off of you.. I hope you are able to to find some time for yourselves and please take care of yourself as well..  

      (((HUGZ)))



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • I hope your able to find some “ME” time soon. You need some of that or you will go crazy. I am lucky I can have alot of me time, It’s just hubby and I and my fur babies, so My time I spend with him and my pets are great and then I have all the Me time I can get. I do alot around here and maybe not as much as everyone else cause I don’t have children, but let me tell ya, hubby can be a handful at times. He knows what chores he has to do and most of the time I have to remind him cause he knows that I will remind him that I am his wife, not his maid. But sometimes I do feel selfish sence I do get alot of me time, but then again..so does he.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Victorious wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • You guys are so kind...It is good to know that I am not having selfish thoughtsestatic Sometimes I look back at pictures before marriage and I wonder where that person went.

      I love my family and I would not change them for the world but I do need time to connect with my inner self. Once in awhile to do the things I once enjoyed doing for me.

      Life is so funny. Before I had my family there was this void that was so painful and yet having them I do not have that void anymore but there is now a different pain. I guess we have to ensure that every thing we do has a balance. Am I menopausal!!!?estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • Lol! I love that question ” Am I menopausal?” I think that’s a question a lot of us have with ourselves. Don’t stress just go with the flow!

      And I know from my own experience that I sometimes wonder where I went. And the answer for me is I just keep evolving.

      I was lucky to be raised by a woman who believed her sense of self is important. So I was raised not to expect my mom to do everything for me. But she sure was available to guide me if needed. So when I had girls I did the same to them and when I remarried my hubz and dearest SS had to fall in line with the girls.
      I will say that if I allowed them to have expectations of certain things then it was also up to me to retrain them. Painful but worth it.

      I sure hope you are right now at this moment getting some ” me” time. You deserve it just because heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Suzann wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • Awww, Jank. I know what you‘re going through. You‘re so not alone. The main thing is, however you choose to approach the problem, you have no need to feel guilty or torn about it. You‘re a wonderful person and a loving mom. Many of us have been conditioned from childhood to be the “selfless” one, to put our own needs aside in order to care for others. And that’s fine until it’s not fine anymore. And there’s nothing wrong with getting what you need in order to feel better!

      Peace,
      Suzann
      [Link Removed] 


      Suzann, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • Well, for me it’s different. I can remember back before I got sick always doing eveything for everyone. For me it was awesome. I always like the ‘your needed’ feeling. Chaotic was a welcome feeling for me.

      Now that I am in a wheelcahir and unable to do many things, I would give ANYTHING to have that ‘I’m always needed’ feeling again.

      Maybe it’s type A personality thing. lol One of those, you don’t know what ya got til it’s gone’ things!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Msj wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • I love Brimstone’s answer!heart

      Hugs to you and get your ME time!heartheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Timbuktu wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • I see lots of women who feel the same way as you through my work. They all, we all, need ME time. It is essential. It’s not selfish, because if you look after you, you can look after them better! Every reply has been a variation on that theme hasn’t it, so we must be right. I’m sure you do want to be needed - just not ALL the time! Find time for you somewhere in your day - I’m sure you can even if not every day.

      Good luck,

      Timbuktu



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • So true, great advice! Hope things get better Jank heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rose Nino wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • Absolutely great advise! Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers Jank.  

      Hugz heartheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Victorious wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • Today I was preparing reports for my meeting tomorrow and I had the radio on to my favorite inspirational station while I worked...It was a long day but it was not bad as I felt like I was in my own little world.

      I am definitely going to talk to hubby tonight and share how I feel and let him know that I need that time once per week to recharge.estaticheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Fabulousvalerie01 wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • I am glad you got some time.  It feels good when that happens.  My friend is a massage therapist.  Last month i got a massage for an hour. The house was quite just me and the therapist.  i am going to get them every month.  I had to take time for myself, I was so emotionally drain.  I use to keep my phone on all night.  I turn my phone off now at 9pm.  I go in the guest room and read a book.  I give myself at least an hour to myself or more or until i fall asleep and I lock the bedroom door.  Thank goodness for locks!  Lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Jun 14, 2010
    • I have found that with my Fibromyalgia, my guys are much more sensitive to my “alone” time..they both can cook, do laundry, clean toilets, etc...when I say to them..“I am in pain“..it means I need to find a cozy nook and just shut down, they understand and comply..but on good days, I make up for it with special things that I cook or create for them.happy



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