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Have you ever felt totally powerless? If so, then you know that it is an awful and debilitating feeling. One of my biggest personal challenges has been my desire to constantly want to please people. I absolutely love to serve people and make them feel happy and loved. But sometimes it is at the expense of standing in my power.
I truly believe that serving others is a calling and gift from God. However, many times I have allowed this gift to be exploited and used out of context by my unbalanced desire to be accepted by other people. Recently a friend told me that I could reduce the stress in my life by no longer allowing others to exploit by gift by standing in my own power.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about what exactly does it mean to stand in my own power. I realize that many of my relationship challenges, personal failures and feelings of betrayal have resulted in me allowing external pressures to erode my internal sense of power. It is important for all of us to completely embrace who we are as powerful beings.
Although I am not a big self-help book fan I must admit that I have read scores of self-help articles, inspirational readings and motivational books on the subject. I truly desire to understand the concept more fully. This evening I decided to mentally “freestyle” and list some of my thoughts about the concept. Perhaps this blog post will serve as an personal exercise to help facilitate my growth in embracing the fullness of who I am. Prayerfully it will also be a blessing to you as well.
Reflection #1: Greater is He within me; than he that is in the world.
This is a powerful bible verse that teaches us that our internal power within is actually greater than any external power or pressure in the world. If we really stood on this belief there is no way that we would ever feel a sense of powerlessness. I recognize that my weak moments are rooted in the fact that I haven’t fully accepted that God is not an outside separate entity but in fact His Sprit lives within me. God is a part of my being.
Reflection #2: People pleasing behavior never satisfies the people that you are trying to please.
I know that is a tongue twister but many of you know exactly what I mean. Through my many life experiences and wisdom I have finally discovered that it is absolutely impossible to please everybody. It is particularly useless to focus your energies on people that only seek to take from you and/or exploit your “people pleasing” nature.
People that constantly demand proof, actions, and personal favors recognize your gift but desire to control and/or exploit it for their own benefit. As we learn to stand in our power we have to recognize that we must be good stewards over the gifts that God has given us. As the scriptures say, “Don’t throw your pearls to swine.”
All people deserve our prayer and reasonable help but NO ONE deserves to be given our power. God bestows his favor to whom ever He chooses. Those that value your power will also value your use and protection of that power.
Reflection#3: Self forgiveness is this best path towards self acceptance.
I am oftentimes my worst and harshest critic. Over the years I have internalized that being self critical will automatically lead to self improvement. NOT TRUE! While I think it is important for one to be reflective it is counter productive to become self-critical to the point of self doubt.
Reflection #4: Fully embrace your power for your gifts shall make room for you.
This statement is also rooted in a scripture. It is so true! Most of my most powerful moments have resulted in me operating in my gifts without fear and/or reservation. Of course, your haters will take notice but I am convinced that the more you fly with the eagles the less you will be concerned about the actions of chickens.
Reflection #5: Chickens peck, turkeys strut, birds fly..... but eagles soar.
A long time ago a best friend of mine told me about her bird analogy as it relates to people. She told me to look at the actions of a common birds (chickens) and how their actions differs from the eagles. She pointed out to me that chickens 1. hang out in groups, 2. have wings but don’t fly, and 3. will eat whatever is placed before them. While on the other hand, 1. eagles operate independently, 2. fly higher than any other known bird, 3. they build their nest up high and 4. highly selective about what they eat, who they mate with and where they build their nests.
My friend said, “Tosha we are eagles. You must seek out the company and support of other eagles.” She also went on to say, “If eagles stay on the ground too long and hang out with the chickens there is a possibility they will take on the behavior of chickens. Not only will the eagle no longer soar...but it may forget how to fly.”
Please feel free to share your thoughts about STANDING in YOUR POWER!