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Ok - so its about time, right?  Thats what everyone keeps telling me.  Its been over a year since the divorce (requested by me) and I am still recovering.  not from the divorce, mind you- from the marraige.  

My ex, shortly after the birth of my son, became more of a room mate than a mate.  Every excuse in the book, and I felt I deserved it, right?  Gained weight with the pregnancy, was always tired... but then I lost the weight and got my career in order.  Still rejected.

Then he got injured, and got put on painkillers.  For years, he was doctor shopping, going to the ER and hiding bills for trying to get more and more narcotics.  Built up a 45,000 debt that I am sinking under every day today.

After years and years ( and even a move) of ultimatims and promises, I found out I had put enough checks and balances on all of our accounts, because he had been using an account of my parents. (sigh).  Thats it. I want a divorce.

Between the time I announced the divorce and the actual court date, I was home one afternoon and the police showed up.  They arrested him for something that happened 30 years ago.  (robbery).  So he disappears, before the court date.  So me, being the good guy, helps him out, gets him a lawyer (pays for it) and gets him home.

So before the court date, he just disappears. Then comes back, starts living in a motel, erratically showing up to spend time with our son.  Has tons of money somehow, we still aren’t sure where he got it.  I think he might have gotten alot of credit cards and taken out all the cash.  

Then, he says he is moving away. the day he is supposed to go, he shows up at our house (12/31) and pulls a rifle on me.  He runs when my son comes in and yells at him.  we were so scared, we left the house and got an apartment.  so now with all the debt, I also had a mortgage AND a rent!

He is on the run, but gets a throwaway cell phone and calls and calls.  We change our numbers, but he calls work.  Talks to other people who work there and tells them things (lies) about me.  Talks to my General manager.  Eventually, I lose that job, but luckily, I’ve been in the biz long enough that I have another, better hours, job in three weeks.
We still don’t know where he is, maybe NY.  We‘re back in the house and the house is up for sale (good luck, right?  What timing in this market with whats going on with the banks)  I have panic attacks at least once a week.  I know if we can sell the house and I can pay off some of the debt, I can make a better life for my teenager and myself.



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