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Words Can Break My Heart

In my growing up years, I remember hearing many catchy phrases that made a lot of sense such as “PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN‘T THROW STONES,” A ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS.”

Another popular saying is “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” What I say in response is, “Wrong, wrong, wrong!” “The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Words can kill a relationship.  Words can murder our motivation and inspiration.  This truth was recently driven home to me when I was speaking with who I thought was a good friend about a delicate situation I was going through in my personal life.

How many of you have really struggled with forgiveness?  You’ve had a huge struggle forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply?”  Immediately I see your hands going up at your computers.  About 1/4 of you all.

Living without forgiving is like carrying around a burlap bag around your neck wherever you go filled with rocks.  Every time you think of an offense or something that you neglect to let go of or forgive someone for, you add a rock to that bag you are carrying around.  This may even go back to your childhood.  It doesn’t take long if we look at it this way to learn that all your “rocks” come from the same source.  Growing up with a harsh, maybe sometimes tyrannical parent whom was unaffectionate and inflexible.  “My parent never accepted me for who I was....” “My mother’s critical, caustic words force the first rock to fall.”
“Zero affection...“No hand on the shoulder, no hugs, no pats on the back earn a fist-sized rock flung into your bag.
“No play time....“No playful wrestling, tickling, no playing dollhouse, no playing teaparty, no playing anything - they all warrant another weighty rock. The more you remember, the more you elaborate and remember on what you missed.
“No father and daughter times...“No mother and daughter times....“No hanging out together, no talks about womanhood. No career conversations. This drives another rock downward. You keep pushing the emotional “replay button” buried in this memory.“Maybe your father hurting your mother...“You not being able to do anything about it, or believing that she should have done something about it if he hurt you. Another rock in the burlap bag.“Get out of my sight!....” Their devaluing, degrating words propel a big hefty boulder.
“Rejection....“sums up the emotional impact of all of our parent’s wounding. Momentum drives a very large, hard rock into your bag. It crashes against the other rocks inside, leaving some small sharp-edged fragments. Jagged pieces are painfully wedged in your memory. Ultimately, rejection saws it all.
Expanding on the visual. I tell everyone that you have a bag of rocks residing you your soul. For years you have been hauling rocks of resentment, stones of hostility, and boulders of bitterness. Then I point to the proverbial bag hanging from the hook around your neck. The burlap now straining from the weight of the rocks.
What would happen if you were to keep walking around with that bag of rocks hanging onto your hook for the rest of your life?
You wouldn’t be able to run anymore. You’d become bent over or it would be difficult for you to walk. When we forgive, we get rid of the rocks dragging us down and depleting us of our strength. Even though when you were born, you were running a good race. This is true emotionally and spiritually. Weighed down by too many rocks the best we would be able to do is trudge our way through life. If more rocks are added to the pile we’ll hardly be able to move forward. And if even more rocks are thrown on the heap, we will completely collapse under the wight. But, when we learn to forgive, even when we don’t feel like it, we get rid of the rocks dragging us down and depleting our strength. As we work through the process of forgiveness, we are set free from the pressure of the strain. We feel unshackled. We feel released. We feel free.
The prophet Isaiah describes what this freedom is like; “THEY WILL SOAR ON WINGS LIKE EAGLES; THEY WILL RUN AND NOT GROW WEARY, THEY WILL WALK AND NOT FAINT.”
Do you want to live the rest of your life carrying all this pain from your past? You must be willing to take all the past pain off of your hook and place it onto God’s hook. In prayer, we both go before God’s throne of grace.
“Lord, I release all this pain into Your hands....Thank You, Lord Jesus...for dying on the cross for me...and extending, Your forgiveness to me...As an act of my will...I choose to forgive those that have harmed and wronged me.”
Choose to take that person off of your emotional hook...and right now place them on God’s hook....Refuse all thoughts of revenge....Trust that in His time, He will deal with those that did harm. Just as He sees fit. Thank you Lord for giving me...Your power to forgive...so that I can be set free...In Your holy name I pray. Amen.
Personally, I know what it feels like to be weighed down with the rocks of resentment.  If you, too feel such a weight, I understand.  Just know, the words within this article and those to come, are written with one goal in mind - to leave you with an empty bag.

Take Care and Be Blessed.

K



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