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As we enter into our fabulous 40’s and beyond, many of us have started a new chapter in our lives - taking care of our parents.  My mama is 86 and my dad 89.  My dad had his license revoked a year ago cause he was starting to get lost on the road and would disappear for hours at a time.  My mom was in an accident in 1979 where she was run over by a car and put into a coma for several weeks.  Luckily, she survived, but has never been the same.  Since then, my dad has been there to watch over her.

Fortunatley, they live 5 miles from me and that makes it easy for me to take care of them, go shopping for them and take them to their appointments as needed.  I sometimes feel guilty I don’t spend enough time with them but its difficult because I work full-time, take care of my household and family and need to find some time for myself.  

I worry about the future and what it holds as my parents become older and less able to care for themselves as they live in a house.  I am in charge of their finances as well, so there is little at this point for them to worry about, but I am interested in hearing what others here online may be experiencing.

Hope everyone here is having a great weekend.

Joanne :)



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tinaband wrote Feb 14, 2009
    • Hi, I just read your blog about your parents.  I understand how you feel. I am an only child and my parents are divorced.  They each live about 15 miles away from me, in opposite directions.  My Mom was in a very bad car accident that crushed her hip and shoulder and head trauma caused almost complete deafness.  She has had so many surgeries andher last was this past April.  She has been slowing down pretty fast, and she’s only 68 years old, so that concerns me.She has hearing aids now that help.  She has remarried, but I still worry about her.  Her new husband is 72 but he seems to be pretty heathy.  

      I have to help my Dad out more than my Mom, he’s had a severe heart attack and is diabetic.  He get’s confused sometimes but for the most part takes pretty good care of himself. He can’t really drive and he has difficutly hearing and remembering sometimes but I guess that’s part of the aging thing.

      I understand how hard it is, I feel very guilty because I feel like I never get enough time with either of them.  I work full time at a very demanding job and have a husband and a home to take care of, plus I am getting ready to return to school(company requirements).  I don’t have any children, but I do have 4 fur childrenestatic.

      It’s good to know I am not alone in these feelings.
      Tina



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sunkist wrote Feb 14, 2009
    • Hi Tina,

      Thanks for your comments.  Your situation and feelings are very similar to mine.  I do feel guilty at times that I don’t spend enough time with them, but then other times I feel like all of my free times seems to go to them.  

      Its truly become a new chapter for me in my life.  I am glad that I am able to help them.  I sometimes wonder what would have happened if they had not moved to FL 18 years ago and were still living in NJ.

      I’m sure many people our age are going thru similar situation as well.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jill53 wrote Jul 24, 2009
    • Hi All,
      My problem is that my mother is 86 years old and lives 50 miles away. She is living by herself . My husband and I try to visit her once a week but sometimes we can’t. When she moved into her apartment we tried to make it as safe as possible. That was not easy. We had to find something to help her in and out of the shower, to get up from the toilet and a walker so she doesn’t fall. First we went to stores. Then we looked on line. and ordered what we needed at www.wendyswalkers.com . They even delivered her underpads. It makes it much easier to buy on line and my mother gets what she needs when she needs it. Instead of waiting for me to bring it to her.
      Jill



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sunkist wrote Jul 24, 2009
    • I do the same thing.  I’ve ordered underwear online for my mom and bought my dad shorts at Target, was easy once I figured out his correct size.  It took a few tries at first.  Its just too hard to bring them with me when I shop for them because of all the walking and movement involved.  

      Unfortunately, it does not get better as they get older.



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