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Hello ladies,

Ok..this is just a basic “what-would-you-do” question.

A little background...I get along great with one of my hubbys sisters...the other one...well, let’s just put it kindly and say i do nto think either one of us would care if we ever saw the other again. Ok

My MIL and i are not the best of friends either...HARDLY. Do you know how Marie Barone acts to Deborah??? Well...there ya go!

Now the dilemna.

The sis in law i do like...is hosting Thanksgiving. I love her but her dinners are always terrible...God Bless her, she tries...now i know it isn’t about “the food” per se but...let’s face it...Food is a big part of turkey day. Ok

Now...i am not conceited about anything at all....BUT i am an awesome cook. I start planning Turkey day in my mind months in advance. I start cooking Monday every year for Thursday, i am not a prefectionist at all either but on Thanksgiving day...i am! Ok..to the point...

Do i go to sis in laws and get barraged with insults all day form MIL and the other SIL and eat a not very good meal ( oh ...by the way..3 of my kids really dread the thought of doing this) and make my husband very happy ....

oorrrrrr

Stay home...make me and the kids happy and enjoy a great meal??? I already offered to have them all here for Christmas dinner. Trust me...without going into long drawn out years of what they have done to me to piss me off, that is a totally generous offer and concession!

Just curious...what would you do???



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Rowe wrote Nov 4, 2008
    • I would go to say “hi” and not stay for the meal. The SIL you love would probably be hurt if she didn’t at least get to see you and your family. Stay for an hour and leave. As far as the other SIL & MIL, kill them with kindness. You will stop their rude remarks dead in their tracks if you react with a smile and a kind word. They won’t know how to respond to that. This way you can go home and eat an awesome meal that you prepared and spend a relaxing evening with your husband and kids.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 4, 2008
    • Marie, this is bringing back memories of my first marriage. My mother in law and my former husband’s twin sisters were horrible! And, my former mother in law was the worst cook in the history of cooks. One day, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I turned to Steve and said, “I don’t think I’m going to hang out with people who don’t like me anymore.” Well, that was the beginning of the end for my marriage which would have ended anyway but, I had to end the abuse.

      This is a tough call. You and your husband have a wonderful marriage. Perhaps you can sit down as a family with your children present and discuss the issue. Really, the poor treatment of you by your husband’s family members, well, he needs to be involved with this so you don’t have to bear this alone.

      Hope this helps
      Cynthia



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 4, 2008
    • I just read your post, vigirl, and that’s a great idea. Who says we can’t have it all! And, I agree with you that the loving sister in law may be hurt. I’m going to save this advice in my back pocket in case I’m in a situation like Marie is in the future!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Nov 4, 2008
    • Or maybe talk to her and tell her that you had planned to cook for your family. Then ask if you guys can have dessert together at her house.
      That way you can eat dinner with your family, then drop over later and have dessert with the “family“. Then you don’t have to stay for long afterwards.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Raysa Santana wrote Nov 4, 2008
    • Marie, I am assuming everyone lives close, so I agree with Inakika and I would go for dessert or if they are eating early I would go there early and then eat my dinner later that night at home or vice versa.  I was in a similar situation when I was married to my 1st husband and that’s what we did.  The only difference was he didn’t like going to his family’s house either.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie Hempsey wrote Nov 5, 2008
    • Thank you all so much. Well..the decision is NOT made but. Sis in law text me today to ask if we were coming. If i do decide to go there for Thanksgiving it is going to be because of her. I do not want to hurt her feelings and i THINK i have already decided that i will have myown Thansgiving Saturday of that week. There was another reason for me not wanting to go there....
      My 80 year old mentally and physically handicapped Uncle lives with me and he cannot do steps...well to get into sis in laws home there are many steps so i will have to leave him home Thankgiving alone and i know this will be hard for him. I will promise him a nice 2 day later Thanksgiving. I just hope i don’t break his heart. Anyway...thank you for your responses...i really should go and be the better person. I have been killing my MIL and other SIL for years with the kindness thing...i will not give them any ammo against me...LOL
      I have been praying ever day to be able to “LET GO’ of my negative feelings...as i said there is so much stuff and myhubby knows it and doesn’t ever force me to be with them and would stay home if i insisted but i understand him wanting to be with his family .
      I just hope i am not throwing myself to the wolves! LOL Great advice ladies!!!!!



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