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Well, it’s almost Thanksgiving and I had decided that I was going to be happy for what I have, not complain, and just enjoy the fact that my husband is with me ... but alas ... grumpiness has attacked me this week.  I’m frustrated with my husband because, like other recovering alcoholics, he doesn’t deal with things head on.  He tends to bury his head in the sand and just accept whatever comes his way, good or bad.  It frustrates me that he doesn’t care more about his life!!  We found out 2 weeks ago that he still owns the house that he bought with his ex-wife several years ago... and it’s in foreclosure!!  Totally new thing for me as I have never had to deal with foreclosure.  We have been getting letters and notices in the mail from the attorneys who represent the bank.  I tried so hard to just let him handle it, but this week I snapped.  He just has no motivation to make phone calls and go through all the paperwork and figure out what our options are.  We both come at financial stuff differently and that’s why it is so frustrating.  I finally got all the paperwork out yesterday and looked through it.  I had to dig out his divorce papers, his bankruptcy papers, and all the stuff they have been sending us to try to figure out what went wrong and what options we have.  Very frustrating.  I SOOOO want him to handle all of this and to actually care about things instead of just lying down and letting life run over him, but apparently that’s not happening right now.  It’s going to be awhile before he really feels confidence in who he is and can realize that his life is worth something and worth fighting for.  Help me God to have patience with him!

Note:  Now that I have read this over and others have made comments, I just need to say that I am thankful for my husband!  He might be driving me crazy right now, but that man loves me like no other has!  So here is what I’m going to be thankful for:
1. He has a job and he never calls off work unless it is an emergency!
2. He tells me frequently that I’m beautiful!
3. He is faithful!
4. He doesn’t spend a lot of money. In fact, he almost never buys anything for himself!
5. We have been separated several times and were almost divorced earlier this year. I have not been the best wife to him and I’ve made mistakes so I’m grateful that he still wants me and loves me!!
6. He has a desire to get a better job and make more money ... not because of things he wants, but because he wants to buy a house and be able to lavish me with jewelry and gifts!  How self-sacrificing is that? Wow!


Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marie Hempsey wrote Nov 26, 2008
    • I will pray you have patience for him. It sounds like a tall order though. I hope you can find what you were looking for in the wsay of happiness and peace for this Holiday!
      Take care,

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Sweetdarcy wrote Nov 26, 2008
    • Reply to beachbum: I’m slightly confused too about him not knowing he owns it.  In his Separation Agreement (they got a dissolution), it says ‘wife will retain house and husband is free and clear of obligation upon the signing and filing of a quitclaim.’  I asked him if he signed one, but he doesn’t seem to remember. Uggghhh  Apparently not, because hs owns it!  I called the attorneys and they say filing one now would not help anything.  I don’t quite understand that.  Anyway, I told him today to call an attorney and we can go over everything and see what our options are.  He did tell me last night that I need to be patient with him.  I told him that I wanted him to care about his life and things that happen to him.  He said ‘I’m trying and I will get there. Just give me time.’  He actually attempted suicide in August so he is still recovering from that whole mindset of ‘I don’t want to live anymore.’  It really is a miracle that he is alive and I’m thankful that he wasn’t successful in killing himself.  I just need to be more patient with him.  I just have to find that fine line between ‘helping’ and ‘controlling’ and not cross it.

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