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The Dating scene is nothing like it used to be. Re-entering can be downright intimidating for those of us in the 40+ crowd.
After I was divorced about 4 years, I decided it was time to begin dating again. The dating venues of by twenties certainly were not the places I wanted to look at in my 40’s.
So I did what most people do, I went online.
I will never forget sitting at my keyboard having just posted my bio and picture online and I received an instant message within 10 seconds reading ‘You are Pretty, Talk to me‘. I felt sick to my stomach; almost like I had been violated in the privacy of my own home. I closed down the instant message. I felt like meat hanging on a hook. I changed my profile to prohibit instant messaging and took down my photo.
That was my introduction to the world of online dating. But, I stuck with it; partly because I was curious, but mostly because I had already paid 3 months for the service.
I dated for about 4 years, off and on, through various dating sites. Over the years, I learned what worked and more importantly, what definitely didn’t work; and I would like to share some tips with you:
Don’t Lie – I don’t care if it’s your age, weight or income ... just be honest. Nothing turned me off more than finding out a man lied on his site about an aspect of his bio. If he lies before I meet him; why would I think he won’t lie again?
Don’t Post a picture – A man should want to meet you because of the content of your bio. State in your bio a photo will be made available upon request. Promptly send one if asked; as well as asking for one in return. If he is unwilling to send you a photo, move on.
Arrange a public place to meet. After a picture is sent, then it’s time to either meet or move on. If he only wants to continue talking online, move on ... I got online to date; not to find a pen pal.
80% of the men I met on a first date never made it to a second date. For me, there is simply no point going on a 2nd date if we didn’t have common values, life priorities and good ole’ sex appeal.
Only 4 men made it past date number 3 and only 2 of them ever met my daughter and that was after several months of dating.
I have met some wonderful men during my dating days; unfortunately the majority of them just weren’t compatible for one reason or another. I also met men where I’m sure that I left tire streaks in the parking lot when leaving the date as quickly as possible.
I finally did meet my love, Grand Dude online; and it didn’t take us long before we figured out we actually had friends in common. It might have taken four years of dating for us to find each other, but we both know the timing was perfect for us.