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Today I feel overwhelmed and anxious, today Im not in a very good spot.  Trying to get a business off the ground is tough, and today Im just not sure if Im up to the job.  Im sticking close to my AA programme as best I can and Im trying to do the next right thing, but at the moment I dont know what the next right thing is.  Im weighed down and confused by all the marketing information on the internet, nothing is as easy as it initially looks and I seem to be wasting hours and hours trying to work out how to do things that should be simple. Is it just me??  Probably.

Im exhausted, demoralized and Im full of fear.  Coming up to 2 years sober with no meetings to go to and nobody to talk to.  I hate sounding so full of self pity, it makes me sick.  I dont want or need to drink today, and for that Im very grateful, but Im just so tired of being so isolated and having almost zero income.  

I will get things into perspective soon. I cant afford not to. One thing I have learnt in my recovery is I cannot afford the luxury of being disturbed for more than a few hours at a time because I live in a place where there is nowhere else to go except for bars.  I live in a place where there are no other recovering alcoholics for me to connect with, so if I dont get back on the beam pretty quickly I am screwed.  

I think of my alcoholism as a dis ease, basically my natural state is one of great disturbance and dis ease.  Alcohol was my remedy to get rid of the disturbance and anxiety . . . . but it was a remedy that almost killed me.  The only way for me to live with this dis ease and be rid of that disturbance is to live by a simple set of spiritual principles called The 12 Steps.  It works, but I dont always work it as well as I should and then I get disturbed again . . . .  

Im cutting this short to go and read some of my Alcoholics Anonymous book and seek to connect with my Higher Power.  Maybe it would also be a good idea for me to listen to an AA speaker talk online, those talks have been a BIG part of my recovery and I realise I havent listened to one for a while now.  Sometimes I think it was easier when I was very newly sober because I ate, slept and breathed AA . . . . now Im not doing that . . . .  and today it really shows . . . . .

A few hours later . . . .
Ive got my self pitying head out of my butt now you will be pleased to hear!!  Ive had a bit of a rest and a break away from the computer.  I do not need to get my head around all of the marketing stuff today so there is no point in getting my knickers in a twist over it.

Ive tried to stop focusing in my self and have made an attempt to help another alcoholic who is suffering much more than I am.  It has instantly made me feel a whole hell of a lot better.  Getting out of self always makes me feel peaceful and calm.

The sun is shining today and if there is no cloud I may just go and lie in the sun for a bit.  I have a 101 other things that I need to be doing, but my emotional sobriety and stability is more of a priority . . .  I cant get much done without it!

Lets see if I can get a link in here so I feel I have made some effort at some marketing today!!

[Link Removed] 


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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bonnie Evans wrote Apr 27, 2010
    • Rachel you are a strong committed woman and life as it is, brings it’s fair share of hard times, let alone living life with addiction. Congratulations on 2 years sober! that is something fantastic to celebrate.
      Starting any business is difficult especially in today’s uncertain economic climate, however there is always hope and it looks like things are starting to pick up.
      Marketing in general can be confusing and with all the information available on the web, with “experts” that have conflicting opinions, it’s tough to understand what is right for your business.What I can suggest is start with a plan, define your goals, identify your customers and find out how your customers like to communicate. That, can then be the starting point or foundation for your marketing and advertising plan. For example: if your customers are local or community driven, then logically it would make sense to look at local ways to promote and sell yourself. Remember a “start up“, always has the goal to grow, so even if you begin in your local town, you are never limited to how far you can expand.

      Trust me when I say you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed. It’s not just you :). If you need some online tools that i found to be helpful with marketing, I’d be happy to help, feel free to private message me anytime.

      You are also not a lone in struggling with recovery. My husband works for a wonderful treatment center called The Recovery Place. It’s based in florida
      (www.therecoveryplace.net) he designs their website. Anyways they have a great facebook page www.facebook.com/TheRecoveryPlace where you can connect with many people who have found treatment,who are recovering addicts and share many of the same struggles as you. They are so motivating and positive, sometimes just what you need on a day that you are feeling a little down.

      Stay strong and positive!

      Sincerely,
      Bonnie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rachel Gordon wrote Apr 27, 2010
    • Wow, Bonnie, THANK YOU!  I feel very grateful to have found this website.  I do have access to other sites where I can have contact with others in recovery, and of course, without those I would not be sober today.  But there is just something about this site that I particularly love, and the fact that its all women 40 or over.  I love the community feel to it and the genuine warmth and support for each other.  

      I am going to check out that site that you mentioned though and I will definitely be contacting you to ask for a little guidance.  Thank you so much for your offer and your kind words.  You have made a BIG difference to me today Bonnie. happy

      Im in a good spot again for lots of reasons.  One is because I took some action and did not allow myself to wallow around in my selfpity; another is your message to me; also because I tried to help someone else (always works for me) . . . .  and because my lovely friend who also has very little money has gone crazy and ordered a load of stuff from my [Link Removed]
      Ok, Im not sure that this actually makes me feel that good because I dont want her to be short of money, but at least she did it at a good time as Zazzle are waiving ground shipping charges up until the end of tomorrow on all orders over $25

      Ok, enough of my rambling happy


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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Apr 27, 2010
    • Rachel, 2 years? wow congrats! That’s something to be very proud of and says alot about you.
      You are strong and you can get thru anything.
      There are several groups here that I’m sure can help you with all hurdles of getting your business up and going.
      Look thru the groups, jump in, ask for marketing advise or any other advise you may need.
      All of these ladies are amazing and you can find a wealth of information here.
      Again, you have come so far, I am very proud of you. If you should ever need to chat I’m always around. Keep up the amazing work heart
      Lisa



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bonnie Evans wrote Apr 27, 2010
    • estatic I’m glad i could help even in the slightest and very happy to you see you in a positive place. Sometimes the little push we need comes from unexpected places. happy Fab 40 is awesome for this very reason that we can connect and reach out to amazing people.  

      Have a wonderful day.
      Bonnie



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