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Unfornately the situation with this family has taken a turn for the worse. Its now like a tornadoe, and im in the middle of it. The 16 yr old minor in this mess name is Duste.  She came down last nite. Her and my daughter had a good nite, hang out and had fun. I went ahead and let her spend the nite at our house.  

 Kim took her home, and within two hours the drama erupted again. We have several stories to choose from and every single one would be considered, crazy, child abuse or child neglect ect. ect.
No.1 if even one of thease stories are true, it would mean that CPS needs to be involved. We now are hearing stories as i well describe. Marijuana plants being grown in the house. Marijuana being smoked in the house with the kids and adults. Alcohol being bought by the adults and drank with the teenagers. Fist fights and violent arguments being a daily thing.
3 pit bull dogs in the house and yard, one of thease dogs are violent and bite duste today on the leg, and her father seem to think this was funny.
No food in the house. This child has some major problems that need medicine and isnt getting it. She also isnt attending school.
I have tried to talk to both parents now, the father openly admitted to me that yes there was pot plants in the house, but the rest was put off as just teenage drama of course.
The mother who has custody, has left and moved to another town, she knows alot of this is going on but claims she cant stop it, She cant control the girl or her older children, both of them are over 18 and in the house also.
Okay everyone, the girl is coming to my house when the violence happens, I dont do drama well, and im not sure what to do.
My older son, has allready called cps on his own, he is 26 and can do that, they want to talk to me of course, i have been involved for almost 20 yrs in this family. I cant say the number of times i have had to go down there, when my friend was drinking to put the kids to bed.
If i talk to cps, it real be real damaging, I hate to do this but im not sure what else to do.  Help, need advice.




Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Jun 3, 2010
    • I was told we can call Child Services as anonymous.  Think about the child and justice.. it will guide you to the right place.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Veggie wrote Jun 3, 2010
    • Well, it sounds like it’s too late to be anonymous.

      You‘re in a tough situation but this child’s (yes she is still a child even if just emotionally) future is at stake here.

      Why is it that the right thing to do is usually the toughest?

      At 16 it would be a shame to have her put in foster care or a home.  She would be placed (most likely) with kids that may have had many more years of ‘street knowledge’ than she may want to know about!

      Such a sad situation.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Max0125 wrote Jun 3, 2010
    • The mother and daughter obviously needs serious counseling. Do not ever feel guilty for protecting a child. I know that you and the Mom were close at one time, but someone has to protect her daughter. It seems that noone is protecting this child but you. Would it be possible to take her in for a while? Seeking professional advice and contacting CPS would be a great start. Good luck and keep us updated.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 3, 2010
    • Ok Tracy I feel for you and I understand not wanting the drama yourself. But if you can help this child in any way then put aside your feelings and just think of her well being.

      If anyone has anything to say to you about it then just ignore them. Maybe the girl is being dramtic but in my experience within the dramatics and stories there’s usually some truth to it.

      I would rather feel bad for alienating my old friend than feel the guilt of not helping a child.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nancy Oblea wrote Jun 3, 2010
    • Tracy My name is Nancy and I joined fab40 in May the reason that I am commenting on this is because I am a recovering women of 17 years.I would say that you have been involed in this situation far to long 20 years and nothing has changed time to step back a little . I know that there is a sixteen year girl involed and other children and that is very sad indeed,sounds like a whole lot of denial here sad as well.In my experience that is the problem the addictive behavior mere symptom .Don’t get me wrong I understand how you feel I do and I also understand that if you want to still help seek some professional help for this for this family.  Nancy Oblea



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Jun 3, 2010
    • If I were in your shoes I’d give Duste the sanctuary she so desperately needs.  Can you afford to just take her in and let her live with you?

      My experiences with CPS have never been good.  From what I’ve seen, the system is broken and won’t do a lot of good (just my opinion).  I’d do what you can for the girl and try to stay out of the rest as much as possible.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tracy Lynn Brown wrote Jun 3, 2010
    • I truly wished i could say that i would take her in, but i just cant right now. I have allways been there for many, many children in this area. And at this point in my life i dont think i would have what is needed for her.
      And im still trying to decide what to do at this point, what i would really like to happen is the parents to become parents, but i guess that would be like hitting the lottery right now.
      I may have to go the grandparents who live here in this small town, and seem to be in denial at the moment. I feel both ways that were describe here at the moment, i have a child that i think will get lost in the red tape. And a friend that i hate to do this too, but she refuses to do the right thing.
      Im hearing alot of “we cant do anything with her” and “im just done” ect.
      Honestly i dont think if you choose to have a child that you have a luxury of saying your done, til that child is 18.  But i will have to make a decision soon.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jun 3, 2010
    • Are there any other relatives who would be willing to take her for the next couple of years? Just get her through high school and maybe get a start in community college? At 16 she’s so close to be able to be independent.heartbreak



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