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I have a bad habit. I like to add anyone who asks to be my friend on facebook to my "friend list." Sometimes they are people I would refer to as frenemies. What is a frenemy you ask? It's an enemy that poses as your friend. Well I must admit I have a few frenemies in my life. They are enemies posed as friends. People who act like they like me but really deep down they don't. Or perhaps they are people that I don't like and perhaps I force myself to be nice to them.

They are happiness suckers. Sometimes, they are people who bring you down with their negativity. Sometimes they are people that think they are better than you just because they have a different last name. Or, sometimes they look down on you for your decisions in life when they sometimes have no idea what your reasoning is for those decisions.

In my quest to rid myself of old anger and resentment something struck me. How many frenemies do I really have? And how often do I give myself over to negative feelings and old hurts when I see their posts on facebook? Sometimes just seeing their name conjures up an emotion that I can only deem as unhealthy and I know in my heart it serves nothing but to make me feel bad about myself. I have to ask myself what value is there in feeling bad feelings when I see their name on my wall? Is it healthy? Is it meaningful to feel this way? Does is serve any purpose except to make me feel bad?

I talked to a friend about this and she reminded me of the need to forgive. Perhaps this is a lesson in forgiveness. Perhaps once again the lesson is mine to learn from and share with others. But is forgiveness keeping them on my "friend list" or is part of my healing letting go of yesterday and the hurtful memories I carry with me? And does letting go sometimes include eliminating people from my friend list that have historically brought me down in life?

If one day you wake up and realize you are no longer seeing my posts, don't feel bad. Know I have forgiven you, I release you from old heartache and I ask you to release me as well. Know I move on with only good things in my life and sometimes those good things include surrounding myself with people that bring up the happy memories and the good things in my life and not bad things.

So my challenge to you is this: I challenge you to examine your emotions when you are scrolling through the posts you are reading and feel the emotion it conjures in your heart and ask is this emotion good for me? Unfriending is a tough call but one that will bring peace in the end.



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