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This weekend I went to a get together at an old friend from high school. Ever since that evening my emotions have been off kilter. I can’t put my finger on why, but I feel like I am living the wrong life. Why do I feel this way...the big picture shows that I have a great job, make good money, I have my own house, great kids, and a husband that helps around the house. To some women, I have everything, yet here I am feeling sorry for myself...WHY???  

I am reminded of the old adage the grass always seems greener on the other side....yes a quick glance of my friend’s life may seem wonderful with her loving husband, a new beautiful baby girl and 3 lovely kids; but a closer examination will yield several cracks in that portrait. She is a housewife and has to deal with housework and kids all day..I couldn’t imagine dealing with a baby full time now at forty...in reality I cant wait for my youngest to go off to college. If she wants to go shopping she doesnt have her own money and needs to answer to her husband, while my husband doesn’t even know my gross salary...I love my financial independance and answer to no one on how I spend my money.

So what’s missing....the intimacy she shares with her husband. After 17 years they still seem inlove with each other. The way he looks at her with the ratty jumpsuit and baby food in her hair is like a sceneout one of those Twilight movies. Shit...I forgot what that was like...to actually want to be around the person you‘re with.  Okay so my husband doesn’t look at me with googly eyes and grabs my ass around the kitchen, I am comfortbale with my time for myself. If I want romance then I will go on Netflix.

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Member Comments

    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Mar 15, 2011
    • Well said Eva!

      Wishing you the best Holly!



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Mar 15, 2011
    • ok adding...

      The cracks you see in the portrait are not cracks for her I’m thinking.  

      I never thought I would end up a SAHM to 3 kids. My illness does not allow me to work anymore. I loved working and was very good at my job.

      Our money is our money. I always used to feel bad spending my ‘hubbies’ money until one day he told me his money is our money. Marriage makes us one family one bank account. That is how we live our life. I never ask for money, as I handle all the finances in our home. If I want to buy something, I do, and the same for him.

      Now, not all people handle marriage this way, and that is fine for them as the way we do it is fine for us.  

      The grass may be greener on the other side, but just be glad you do not have to mow it. estatic



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Mar 15, 2011
    • I’m with Tracy. Our money is our money.



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Mar 15, 2011
    • Sorry I posted before I finished.
      Are you happy? Honey, every marriage is different. Money doesn’t make a marriage. If your happy then your marriage is right for you. If YOU feel something is missing don’t compare find out what is missing for you.
      Hugs



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Mar 15, 2011
    • It’s funny. After reading your Blog I felt a little down because I don’t have a husband, have only 1 child (and I love kids, no house, and no great career.  But then I thought the whole point is that we can look at others’ situations and feel bad or try to be supportive and happy for them and content with our own lives as well.  It’s so hard to do.  I’m still working on it.  To me, a husband helping out around the house just shouts out that he loves you and values his family. heart  I bet the romance is still there underneath it all.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Holly_golitely wrote Mar 16, 2011
    • Hi Ladies,

      Thank you all for your comments, I appreciate the feedback. As the title of blog states I am trying to Find Happy at Forty. Writing about what I am feeling I have found to be the best therapy for me to sort out my thoughts and plan ahead. In my honesty I may not always have an agreeable point of view, but it will be based on what I am feeling at the time...please bear with me happy



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Mar 16, 2011
    • Ditto Annie!

      Holly only we know what it best for us. My motto if it works for you then go with it. heart



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 16, 2011
    • Interesting.
      If I compare my insides with other’s outsides, Ill either come out feeling like a lottery winner or the complete opposite.  

      To each their own!

      I cant even IMAGINE having a new baby NOW and all of that. ACK!

      You sound pretty impressive!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Mar 16, 2011
    • Holly, to me you do have the greener grass at this time. That’s only because I’m not doing what I want to do and what I could do eventually and I’ve been waiting to. Just my 2 cents, but I think if we don’t ever see someone else having greener grass, we won’t aspire to cultivate our own lawn to green it up. ;oD  

      Thanks for the great post! I love the way you wrote it and it reminded me of my own silly smiles while having crusty hair from baby vomit. LOL  

      Cathie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Brown wrote Aug 8, 2011
    • I agree with most of what I’ve read but only you can make the decision to invest or not invest in your marriage.  A man is easy to find, but a man who loves your kids and  romances you may be closer than you may think.



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