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The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.

  This enables you at 85 years old

  to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing

  home at $7000 per month.  

  My grandpa started walking

   five miles a day when he was 60.

   Now he’s 97 years old

   and we don’t know where he is.

 I like long walks,

   especially when they are taken

   by people who annoy me.

 The only reason I would take up walking

   is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

   I have to walk early in the morning,

   before my brain figures out what I’m doing..

  

 I joined a health club last year,

   spent about 400 bucks.

   Haven’t lost a pound.

   Apparently you have to go there.

 Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise‘,

   I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

 The advantage of exercising every day

   is so when you die, they’ll say,

   ‘Well, she looks good doesn’t she.’

 If you are going to try cross-country skiing,

 start with a small country.

  

 I know I got a lot of exercise

   the last few years,......

   just getting over the hill.

 We all get heavier as we get older,

   because there’s a lot more information in our heads.

   That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

  

 AND

  Every time I start thinking too much

    about how I look,

   I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,

   I look just fine.

  You could run this over to your friends

   But just e-mail it to them

If you don’t forward
this to 1 of your friends within
the next 5 minutes your belly
button will unscrew and your
butt will fall off.
Really.... It’s true

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