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Benefits
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Benefits
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The “old” compassion has turned out to be something I find difficult to “do.”
The “old” compassion is when my heart is not able to handle the empathic feelings I get when I see a hurt animal, or pass a woman panhandling on a street corner.
The “new” compassion is simply not judging.
I don’t want us to confuse “not judging” with not taking action when action is needed. And I don’t want us to think that by not judging, we are condoning.
The new compassion (as I understand it, and I am so open to different ideas on this) is being discerning, being smart, helping when we can, being encouraging to others - but not inventing 10,000 other stories and assumptions to go along with whatever it is we‘re doing.
Example. I saw this on a Dr. Wayne Dyer program on PBS. Dr. D. gave some pocket money to a guy on the street. The guy felt good about it, Dr. D. felt good about it, and that was it. No other storylines or judgements came out of it.
Here’s another example - this one’s mine because I’m so working on this issue within myself: I’m opposed to constructing an Islamic Center near Ground Zero in New York.
Here's what I can do:
- write about it in a forum or op-ed page in an intelligent way
- write to the mayor and voice my opinion (again, in an adult, courteous way)
- join in any peaceful protests that might come up
- donate money to some sort of legal fund, if there is one
Here's what I can't do:
- have opinions about people’s religious preferences
- like or dislike people who agree or disagree with me
- think about it all the time and make myself a nervous wreck who can’t sleep
- complain about it all the time and make those around me nervous wrecks
That's what I mean by the "new" compassion. It's not harboring opinions and judgements in my head all the time; it's not letting my emotional reactions dominate my thinking. It's doing what I can do, and letting go of the internal hysteria.
One of my great loves is for animals. The other day Dr. Phil had a show on dog fighting, and I turned that TV off faster than you can say “dog.” I knew I couldn’t handle it. I knew if I watched it, or even thought about it, I’d end up in a puddle of tears in my bed.
Instead of crying for the dogs (that would be the "old" compassion), I ran to the computer and worked on finding more cosmetics companies that don't use animal testing so I can add those companies to my site ( [Link Removed] ). Making myself useful instead of having a heart SO big I become totally useless.
Another thing Dr. Dyer said on this show (and it's in his book, "The Power of Intention") - you can't make yourself sick enough to heal anyone; you can't make yourself poor enough to provide money to someone else. i.e. In order to help heal others, we have to be healthy ourselves. In order to donate money to our causes or even start a non-profit of our own, we need to have money ourselves.
So we have extreme compassion - but the “new” way to do that is to see the problem and act on it, while not allowing ourselves to play out storylines and fill our head with judgements and grudges.
I’m still working on it. Thoughts?
Suzann, what a great way to sort-out an issue with yourself!
I too am an animal lover and I can’t stand to watch some of the requests for money from animal rescues. They make me cry.
The examples and points you use in this writing are helpful and action oriented. People could use your above example to take a closer look at other issues of self.
Thanks for sharing
Smiles
Sharon
eyeontheearth.blogspot.com
Cynthia and Lola, thank you for your kind words.
Annie123 - I’ve learned a lot from you, and appreciate all your posts and comments. I love that you‘re outspoken and at the same time you‘re always clear-headed.
Thanks so much, Anne E.!
Sharon, omgosh yes, the animal thing. If I was an actress I’d have no trouble if the script said to cry. I’d just flash onto a story from one of the magazines the animal rescue groups send, and that would be the end of my stage makeup.
Love it! I wish we all could be more positive in the world it would be such a blessings if we all could see through those eyes and realize it too could be one of us. I try hard to be a help to those in need. God bless you.
Wonderfully written! I agree with you. Over the last year, I have come to the conclusion that it is better to act rather than react. Reacting never solves the problem, only adds to it.
I agree with you that compassion has is shifting. Take for example the Pedigree dog food commercial with the message “Don’t pity shelter dogs, adopt one.” It makes me teary eyed everytime I see it!
Max, good point. Better to act than react. I like that. And what a great idea for the commercial - “Don’t pity shelter dogs, adopt one.” That’s just wonderful.
Great read! My daughter is working toward the new compassion and helps me see things in a positive way. When I complain she tells me to do something about it - your “can” list. I am guilty of the “can’t” and need to work on it.
Thanks for your compassion!
Thanks, Linda. I do need to add to the “can” list. Something like “I can take personal action - like adopt the dog (Max’s comment), start a women’s shelter, even small stuff like changing the supermarket line attitude from negative to positive by, who knows, smiling at someone, starting a positive conversation, whatever.”
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