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Trust, like other values-related words such as love and respect, carries a lot of baggage, and its meaning for each person changes over time. In fact, over time each of us develops a unique relationship with trust, just as we develop unique relationships with the people in our lives.

It may seem odd to think of having a relationship with a word or a concept, but consider the impact, the simple weight of the word and all it implies. There is so much emotion and meaning, such rich context and depth — such complexity! You’ll see that the ways you think about the concept are also ways you might think about a person. How do you feel about trust? Does it make you happy, sad, fearful, angry, joyous, elated? How do you react to its presence or absence? Do you miss it when it’s not there? Do you welcome it when it comes into your life? Do you — and I’m quite serious in asking this question — trust it? And how do you invite it from other people and from yourself — or do you?

Many people have troubled relationships with trust. When trust is betrayed, especially when it’s betrayed repeatedly, it becomes difficult to trust at all, difficult to trust your relationship with trust. It sounds odd, but it’s very possible to distrust trust!

We’re taught from earliest childhood on throughout our professional careers and personal lives to always examine the mistakes we have made to see what we can learn. Seldom are we encouraged to appreciate our accomplishments and our stellar successes. This single-minded focus on mistakes, no matter how much we may protest that we’re only human, creates a sense of betrayal and failure and — you guessed it — lack of trust.

There’s just one person in your life with whom you’ll spend every second of every minute of every day and night of your entire life: yourself. If you don’t trust yourself, if you don’t trust the advice you give yourself, the decisions and choices you make and have made in the past, your selection of your life’s paths, your ideas and dreams and aspirations — then you will find it difficult to trust others, and even more difficult to win their trust in return.

And when you don’t trust yourself, you’ll find that you continually play smaller than you really are, that you don’t let your natural brilliance shine, and that you are afraid to show the world who you are and what you can do.

These days, many people are questioning what they are doing and why, to themselves and to me. In just the last few weeks, I’ve heard:

  • “I’m too old not to know what I want to do!”

  • “I don’t know who I am.

  • “What I do seems meaningless, and I don’t know how to change that.”

These are men and women in the prime of their lives – late 30s through late 50s. They are deeply dissatisfied, in some cases deeply unhappy, though they don’t understand why. And they feel very alone. Fortunately, they do trust themselves enough to look for help and for answers — to look for ways to make change.

If their statements sound like something you’ve been thinking or feeling, it may be time for you to acknowledge those feelings and bring the thoughts out into the light of day. Ignoring them — which is what most people do — won’t help you. Instead, I challenge you to look those thoughts in the face, and really consider your relationship with trust — especially self-trust. And let me know what you learn!

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 — 1832), German dramatist, poet, novelist, scientist, and leader of the Romantic movement.

Developing Trust

I’ve learned that trust is a big part of what I bring to my work with clients and with those in my seminars and teleclasses. My trust in who they are, who they want to be, and who they can be is a different — and unique — perspective for them. In many cases, it’s a perspective that provides a comfort and safety they’ve never experienced before, because of their own difficult relationships with trust and self-trust. If you’re interested in learning more, then be sure to call me (760.757.7660) or email me ([Link Removed] for the schedule of topics (we’ve recently discussed delegation and how to say no!) and to receive the phone number for the call.

Gljudson, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.


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