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When i had my first child, a daughter, i was ready to be a mother. I welcomed the opportunity and was thankful for the blessing of a beautiful, healthy baby girl.  Everything was wonderful in my world!  Jacquelyn was a good-tempered baby with lots of laughs who, thankfully, slept when it was time to sleep.  This made our family a pretty peaceful one...and i loved it.

Move ahead 3 years and a couple of months and along comes my second daughter, Kelly.  I waited until i was certain that i was ready for another child before having her.  Kelly was always a stronger-willed child than Jacquelyn but still a good little girl.  She was exceptionally bright, learning to walk before 10 months of age and her vocabulary was extensive by 18 months...and speaking in complete sentences.

Six weeks after Kelly arrived, I discovered that i was pregnant again.  I was terrified, an emotional basket-case...how could this happen?  It took some getting used to but we were thrilled to have another baby...and the idea that he was a boy made it that much easier to make sense of it all!

Growing up, i understood that I was expected to do as i was told, i was expected to speak to my parents respectfully, and I was expected to mind my manners at all times and i was expected to not lie.  These lessons were truths to me and, as a parent, i was fully prepared to teach my children the same lessons.

I remember sitting in the living room about 10 years ago, watching my then 8 year old daughter, 5 year old daughter and 4 year old son playing and thinking to myself, “I wonder what they’ll be like when they‘re teenagers.”  Well, now i know.  

All the diligence of my parenting has, to some degree, paid off.  I have very trustworthy children.  They do not lie to me, they do not drink or do drugs.  I am mighty thankful for that.  My children are, overall, really good kids who perform at or close to their potential in school, they are well-liked by peers and adults, they laugh a lot and they confide in me when they need someone to listen or counsel them.  So, why do i question my parenting all the time?  Why do i take it so personally when one of my children says something to me that hurts my feelings?  Logically, i know that what is happening falls under the obligatory “growing pains” category which we all, kids and parents alike, have to experience.  

Perhaps it’s just my children (although i’m very skeptical) but i find them to be outspoken in areas where they simply do not have the experience to comment (i.e. PARENTING).  When i was growing up, my parents’ choice of parenting methods were NEVER questioned or commented upon by me.  I would never tell my parents that their choice of discipline was “dumb” or “pointless“.  My children have told me both on more than one occasion...and i’m not going to lie, it was my initial desire to up the ante to make it smart a little more!  The latest comment, offered to me by my younger daughter, came in the car this afternoon.  We were talking about her sister and i said something like, “I don’t think her friends were parented like she was.”  Kelly didn’t miss a beat with her response; “NO ONE is parented like we are!”  To which i shot back, “Am I supposed to feel bad about that?”  Kelly went on to tell me that all her friends (as well as her sister’s) can do what they want.  They can come and go as they please, don’t have to be home at a certain time, or help out around the house.  I expect to know where my children are at all times, there most definitely is a curfew and we are a family so we ALL are expected to contribute to the well-being of the home.

I’ve read, with interest, many accounts of parenting dilemmas and triumphs on Fab40 and considered myself to be among like-minded women.  I’ve always understood that there are people who do not take the “job” (privilege) of parenting as seriously as i do but come ON...am i really such an anomaly?  Are the majority of parents allowing their children to parent themselves?  Or worse...the parents?



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Jan 29, 2009
    • My kids say I am way too over-protective.

      I found out one of my 12 yr old dd’s friend’s mom, was taking them tp‘ing at 10pm at night. WTF!! Is it just me or would most parents do that. Needless to say she is not allowed to spend the night there anymore. Am I sorry for that...NOPE!!  

      My son, who will be 15 on Saturday has to be home by 9pm from his friends house 6 doors down. Is that too strict, I do not think so.  

      I am told allllll the time, so-n-so’s mom is so much cooler than you. They can be in the dark and not have to check in all the time. BUMMER!! I am not so-n-so’s mom!!  

      Oh mercy, time to calm down now!! lol



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