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Cougar... how I dislike that word... cougar.... It conjures up pictures of an older, desperate, woman on the prowl with loins afire.  In truth, I am not a cougar, but a woman in her forties with limited options.  The men my age are either (A) happily married living the dream life I wanted, (B) unhappily married and looking for a fling on the side or© dreadfully dysfunctional.    

When I am out on the social scene the guys who approach me are invariably younger.  Not one, two or five years younger but in the double digits younger.  Where does that leave me, a woman looking for companionship, commitment and stability.   I have given youth a try and found it fun but unfulfilling.    I want a man my age who has similar experiences, similar goals and can provide me with good conversation and debate (and um yes good sex).  Someone with whom I can travel Europe and build memories for our future.  Someone who will be a partner and a friend.    

But for now I will look the part of a cougar.  A reluctant player in a game that has too few pieces.   And I continue show up for I know that to give up would mean committing to a life of even less.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Sep 22, 2009
    • Hmm.  There seem like a lot of 50 year old guys on match.com, but I don’t know about their quality.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Sep 23, 2009
    • Venus I wouldn’t worry too much..... just go out and have some fun..... make sure you are happy and satisfied first and all else will fall into place....

      BTW if I wanted to go to Europe I wouldn’t be waiting on a man to go with me.....who knows he may there looking for you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Venus 7000 wrote Sep 23, 2009
    • Catfan, I tried the online dating a few years back and was disappointed with the results.  Perhaps its time to jump back into that pool again.  Thanks for the comment.

      Viki, I have been divorced for six years.  The first few years were fun, easy, happy.  Felt like a weight had been lifted.  Now I really miss having someone to share my life with. Experiences mean more when there is someone there to share them.  I always envisioned my forties as the period for exploration and fun.  Just never thought that I’d be doing it alone.  I agree that we shouldn’t need a man to complete us.  I have tried to dance solo but it just does not work for me.  Thanks for responding, I really appreciated your positive outlook and suggestions.

      Termagsea, The Cougar label carries the negative connotation of a middle aged woman who preys on younger men for her own sexual gratification.  I know that there are now efforts to shift the definition of cougar to something more positive(a woman past forty who is sexy, confident, and knows what she wants.)  But for now I find the term offensive. Thanks for sharing.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Sep 26, 2009
    • YOure damn straight I would be a cougar if I wasnt married.  I rather like that label!!

      xoxo



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Venus 7000 wrote Sep 27, 2009
    • LOL Doreen.  

      And you would probably have a fun with it too.  Younger guys are eager to please, willing to learn and always ready to play.  Just don’t expect much more outside of that.



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