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When I was a teenager, there was a common phrase - “Life begins at 40“.  Now, when you‘re a teen, you figure that’s just old people trying to make themselves feel better.  But, when you‘re the one who’s saying it, it takes on a very multi-layered meaning.

I turned 48 in December...and honestly, I can’t really wrap my head around being nearly 50. That used to seem so old and now, it feels like the start of a whole new life.  I’ve been so blessed in so many different ways - friendships, family, healing, forgiveness, joy.

I’ve been on this journey for a while but this phase of it, the joyous part of it has a theme song.  “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield is now my theme song.  It’s a great song...you can hear it on my profile player.  It never fails to make me smile and feel happy but much more than that, the words define very much how I feel these days. No doubt parts of this song will color the things I’ll write here as it sometimes defines me better than I can.

“I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined
I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned”

I love these words, because after spending so much of my life trying to be whatever others defined me as, I’m finally discovering how I define myself.  For years, it was “why aren’t you married?“. Then, I got married and it was “when are you going to have kids?“. When I got divorced, it was “Well, there are other men out there but your biological clock is ticking, so best hurry.”  I generally just shook my head and smiled. After all, they meant well, right?  Well, of course they did but it’s still tough sometimes having to meet expectations.  My problem was, I really never did.  Being the tough, Irish at heart, stubborn Southern woman that I was and am, I never took the normal route.  I was a dancer at 4, a rebelious fighter for justice at 7, on tour with Alice Cooper at 19, working with entertainers for years and living all over the country.  My family, most of them at least, thought I was odd, though they were polite enough to call me unique. LOL.  I guess I am that.  

Still, in my family, everyone got married, had kids, bought a house and worked the same job for years and years.  Everyone but me, that is.  Oh, I like men and wanted to get married. I love kids and wanted them, but my only marriage didn’t last and I never did have kids.  There have been times in my life that these facts were hard for me, but other times I consider them a blessing.  For all that those are wonderful and noble things, there’s also a lot of joy in being single and childless.  I have incredible freedoms that others do not. Not only freedom to travel, to spoil myself and others and lots more free time, but also, freedom to take the kinds of journeys that I’ve taken lately....journeys that have led me to discover so much about myself that I didn’t realize or understand.  I finally know who I am as a person, a very long and tough journey but one full of joy and acceptance.

I have a lot of interests, not the least of which is other people and what makes them tick.  I love to chat about things I’m interested in, get other people’s views on things, learn new things to be interested in from them and in general, gather the words and ideas that are molding this new chapter in my life’s story.  

What words are still unwritten in your latest chapter?



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Mar 15, 2009
    • I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned  

      I like that.  Yes, it reminds me that I am in charge of my destination to a great extent besides going along with God’s desire and plan.  

      I think my chapters are like the one from Harry Potter.  It is blank yet it is already written.  I just need to put my ink in it (which is my effort and daring) then it will show.

      More coffee.  Thank you for sharing.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 15, 2009
    • I love that song! happy
      Natasha rocks!  

      And yes, the rest IS still unwritten.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Mar 15, 2009
    • I love that song and so true
      Women over 40 are a force to be reckoned with



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Allsinglesmeet wrote Mar 20, 2009
    • I am not sure but then I am always lost! I am also almost 50. I will be 50 in July and cannot believe it. I don’t look or feel it.
      My life is just beginning I hope. Like the poster here, I am also divorced after an 8 year marriage and no kids. I have lived I suppose a fairly unconventional life!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Off Center wrote Mar 20, 2009
    • Thanks everyone for your support...this column will be about joy and empowering and goals and solutions and I hope you’ll feel you can contribute your own strengths and experiences to it.

      China, the song is “Unwritten” by Natasha Beddingfield. You can hear it on the player on my profile if you’d like.

      Allsingles - I don’t feel my age AT ALL.  I am really starting to feel daily that unconventional is a true blessing.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kellyc wrote Mar 20, 2009
    • I love that song too.

      When I turned 50, my first thought was what am I going to do the second half of my life.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Raquel2526 wrote Mar 21, 2009
    • This really speaks to me.  I just turned 41 last month and I felt that my life was just beginning, too.  As for me, I feel that marriage, motherhood and selflessness will be what the next few chapters are about.  I married at 32 and had enjoyed my single life thoroughly before that.   Existing as a family unit - with life’s ups and downs, as long as we‘re together - would be my book’s happy ending.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Off Center wrote Mar 24, 2009
    • Kelly, I hear that. I am now seeing 50 on the horizon and am determined to see it that way as well. Good for you.

      Raquel - Congrats on your marriage - I was 37 when I got married. I’m glad yours lasted.  I wish you all the joy and happiness with your family and I look forward to reading your “pages“.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shirl53 wrote Apr 8, 2009
    • Talking about 50 I am going to be 54 in July and I feel at times so old. I look 10 years younger as I been told but my hormones are so out of balance that I feel sad and where has life gone. I always go back to what was. I wish I was younger and had my children still at home. I love being a Mom and now i don’t have anyone in my life except my fiance. I feel stuck in a rut. There seems to be remedies out there for everything but of course you can’t turn time backwards so i am going to go on and look for the positive in life...



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