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Politics. It’s like a four letter word to me....just longer. Is it wrong to say “I just don’t give a flying crap?” Yes, it’s totally un-American, I know. But, seriously folks, I just watched the debate for amusement.

I thought to myself tonight as I watched the debate:

“STOP TALKING...I JUST WANT TO GET UP AND GET A SNACK!!!”

Not like I would have missed anything.  

Here are a few of my personal observations of the debate, for whatever they are worth. However, before I start spewing my nonsense, let me add a disclaimer here (I always wanted to write a disclaimer!!):

“Whatever I am about to write is in good humor....and if you are really serious about politics, then you‘re probably going to have to remind yourself several times that I am kidding around...keeping it light...easy peasy, lemon squeezy. This blogger is not responsible for being politically correct, politically knowledgeable or giving a flying hoot about anything on Capitol Hill or any group that is represented by elephants or donkeys. I am not affiliated with any party other than birthday parties that I have for my kids. Opinions stated here are purely for fun. Do you remember what fun is?? OK, then.  Just consider the hefty amount of hair dye that seeps into this blogger’s brain on a regular basis. Leave nice comments, please. Thank you. God Bless America.”

Ladies before gentlemen...so Palin is first:  

Enough with the word “MAVERICK“. We know, Sarah, we know. You come from moose country so the word maverick  (meaning: an unbranded calf, cow, or steer, esp. an unbranded calf that is separated from its mother) feels like home. You said “maverick” 7 times...but maybe I missed a few more when I went to get a bagel. Chill, cowgirl....and learn a few new words.  

Dropping G’s: Sarah, Sarah, Sarah...it’s fine to be a cool Mom, but saying somethin’ and gotta is just not impressive. You‘re not trying out for a role in The Sopranos are you?

UM: Sarah, babe...you’ve got to stop with the “ums“. Yes, it’s in the dictionary (as an interjection) but did you know that it is defined as “representing hesitation in speech: a word used in writing to represent the kind of grunting sound that people make when they hesitate in speaking“. Stop that grunting sound. It’s not effective.

The Word “nuclear“: Just stop saying it, Sarah. Please. It’s just not floating off your tongue. You do not pronounce something as important as the word “nuclear” as “nuk-aler” or “nooky-a-ler“. It is pronounced nklee ər.If you become the VP, you might need to use this word once or twice. Study up.  

NO CLUE: Sarah, you‘re beautiful. I love your glasses. However, you only seem to know a few pre-programmed words/phrases: “We are in a great country.” “John McCain is a Maverick.” “reform and corruption“. Just tell someone to remove the memory chip...you sound like a robot.

Time to talk about GI Joe Biden.

I don’t know much about Biden. This is the first time I’ve even paid attention to him on TV. Looks like the seasoned politician that he is.  

Characterized: You‘re a more experienced speaker, Joe, but you were tripping over the word “characterized“. Not a big deal, it’s just has more syllables that the word you’ve been programmed to say: “Change“.  

Beat The Clock: Not exactly your game of choice, Joe. Almost every time you spoke, you mentioned that you saw “the light on” and you were running out of time to talk. We know. It’s not the first time you’ve rambled on...maybe that’s something that needs “change“.

Home Depot: Why are you at Home Depot, Joe? I hear you don’t live in a “fixer-upper“. Really, do you need “90 Days Same As Cash“? I think not. If you‘re trying to sound real, how about Walmart? Now there’s a good ‘old American cash cow. You might see Sarah there because she comes from “a diverse family“...and diverse families shop at Walmart.  

Just Curious: Do you use Poligrip, Joe? I can’t really tell, but when you smile that really phony smile, I see evidence of a little glue holding those chompers in. It’s such a “I’m so full of shit” smile. Oh, that’s right, I forgot....you‘re a politician. Where’s my head?

Down Home Bullshit: You recently went to your local gas station? How recently? I go often...because I only put $20 worth of gas in at a time because if I fill up at these prices, I might just have the big one at the pump. That’s not an orgasm, Joe, that’s a heart attack. When is the last time you pumped gas, Joe? Down home, my ass. Soon you’ll be baking cookies for soccer games with Sarah.

I’m tired. Watching anything that resembles politics is enough to make me want to do shots of Tequila...and the last time I did that in 1991, I threw up for three hours. Same sort of feeling I got after tuning into CNN tonight. Why didn’t I just catch up on some much needed sleep? Oh, that would have just been too smart....I’m blonde, remember? Well...or so everyone assumes.  

Off to sleep...I’ve got to hit the gas station, Home Depot tomorrow. I’m always hanging out there...just like Joe!  Um there’s gotta’ be somethin’ else on my to-do list......jeez...I sound like Sarah.



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