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We are people who are fueled by applause and acceptance;

it’s human nature; but if you  base your happiness on  

this; there will be many an unhappy day and you will  

eventually lose your uniquess in the great ocean of

we-ness.

Its so tempting to seek acceptance, to be with the  

“in crowd” .. They all stick together . .They  

respond to each other’s  questions and say how wonderful

they are.. but if you are not part of their

inner circle . .if you don’t write what they  

want to read. .or talk within their guidelines well

you will stay outside their circle...

I have decided I want to be me.. I will write how  

I want and not  worry if it is not the same slant

others may take.  I will try to respect everyone’s  

dignity while not losing my own.  

I have resolved to stay away from inner circles and cliques

that seem to make themselves the censors of all that is  

right and wrong; even though what they may be doing may  

be totally wrong.

"Every clique is a refuge for incompetence. It fosters corruption and disloyalty, it begets cowardice, and consequently is a burden upon and a drawback to the progress of the country. Its instincts and actions are those of the pack."  Madame Chiang Kai-Shek

“_Try to have as diverse group of friends as possible and don’t get into the the clique scenario_ ” Andrew SHue

 I have always walked to a beat of a different drummer

...so.. .. If you accept me for that then

wonderful and if not wonderful too.. that’s just means

you cannot keep up with the beat my drummer sets..and

I would want you to keep a pace your are comfortable with.




Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joy Pachowicz wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • Hi Annie

      Here as well as everywhere there are cliques; I know you don’t want to believe that; but, that’s ok..  

      Cliques exist in Churches and schools ..everywhere..

      I know you would love for me to say that this is a perfect forum; but I would not be being honest. There are times..very few when the nice warm forum here..is a bit cold..that’s human nature.. I wont go into details.

      When I first come,  some said “you are safe here, you are welcome” etc; and the moment I disagreed with someone’s opinion of me ..all that warmth disappeared..so it appeared .. so I have observed.

      I have been on many places and have had many friends..but never been belittled or said I am not real.. I am still hurting from an earlier shock.. yet I am stil here..

      Some people may not agree with me; that’s ok..but I believe, like anyone else, I  have a right to my blog and my opinion.  

      If you come on to my blog and respond. to my personal thoughts.. I will respond back how I feel. I won’t think less of you . belittle you..or say you raise red flags..

      Thank you for voicing your opinion. but inner circles, clique article is not just for here..it’s meant for cliques and inner circles everywhere .  

      Joy



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • Joy, Annie is right about there not being cliques here. I did greet you when you joined but I made no promise to you to be your BFF. And I’m another one that doesn’t read every blog,
      or expect others to read all of mine. You have to realize how many thousands of women are members on this site. Not a few dozen, Thousands! The nicest thing about this site is there’s others to learn from, be wowed by, share a laugh with us, climb out of our shell with and gain a whole new view of Life with.  

      Cathie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joy Pachowicz wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • Cathie:

      Respectfully . I agree with most all you say .

      I agree there is so much good.. .. .I realize there  

      are thousands.. on the site.  

      I will not bring up the past.. I want to keep

      pushing forward..Thanks for jumping in.

      Have a nice day:

      Joy



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • Joy,
      I have been on this site since October 2008 I have made some fantastic friends and yes when I first joined due to the time difference I had hardly any sleep.
      I have seen how these ladies rally round when a member has been through a very bad time , sent card and flowers to members in hospital and visited as they had no visitors.
      Yes after this period of time I do visit some blogs where I know the person and I know they will be of interest - I also love this site for the honesty and the fact that if you put a question on here people answer from the heart and will past experience.
      I have never noticed a clique or groups here just genuine warm friendship ......



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joy Pachowicz wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • UK Girl

      Thanks for your words..

      I will not say to much on the issue..  

      Joy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joy Pachowicz wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • Annie

      Not once have I said anyone here is mean

      that is your take on it.

      I write general articles then you take it personal.

      I really don’t care if I gather friends here.

      Just because you or someone else, or even I say  

      somethng doesn’t mean it’s gospel.

      I voice my opinion and I have not said any names

      accept the one time .. someone belittled in  

      my first week..  

      Please don’t get defensive .. as I don’t want to  

      fight

      Joy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joy Pachowicz wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • ps..

      They say if the shoe fits wear it..  

      and I make general topics because I share

      my writings on facebook and others.. using the

      share button.

      Just because I talk about cliques.. and their

      inner circles..doesnt say it’s here. .

      someone here made it personal

      take care

      Joy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joy Pachowicz wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • Annie

      I think you are projecting your own problems on me.

      I have not put down anyone here.

      I did defend myself in the beginning.

      I write articles all the time.. and they are

      general articles with no on in particular in mind.

      If this one bothers you .. ask why?

      I have not created it with you in mind .. but

      it bothers you .. so why?  

       Thanks

      Joy



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • Joy .........
      You post something with Their Inner Circles Their Cliques as the headline and then not expect people to think it refers to this site is a little short sited.

      Annie is the most level headed lady I have ever known and the most down to earth and I read you post the same way as she did hence my response ....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joy Pachowicz wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • UK GIRL then you too need to ask why you are taking  

      offense.. I have no one in mind . .

      Have a nice day

      Joy



            Report  Reply


    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joy Pachowicz wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • ps.. you have to remember I write in general

      I write poetry in a view for a great crowd of  

      readers not just one or two.. not just here or ther.

      ..

      Seems that inner circles and cliques bothers some  

      people. .and my question is why.. it’s really  

      got me excited that without wanting to  

      I have hit a chord..  

      I am telling you honestly

      I had no person or place in mind when I wrote it.

      and i will keep it up..as inner circles and cliques

      that are exclusive are dangerous.

      It’s ok .. I respect everyone’s opinion

      and sorry you think it’s just about this forum..

      Have a nice day!!

      Joy



            Report  Reply


    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • Everyone, including you [at some point] have been in, what you choose to call a clique. If you haven’t, I’m sorry for you. You are taking the word ‘clique’ in a negative way. There are good and bad people as well as good and bad cliques.

      A clique is a group of friends/people with common interests and the like. And, again some can be ‘bad’ where there is gossip etc. Like in grade school. I personally graduated years ago.

      Cliques are everywhere, as are tight circles of friends and bff’s. None of which are dangerous or bad unless you choose it to be that way.  

      Before you put your ideals on what you think goes on here, you should check yourself, not the members here or at any other group. You have no idea what goes on in our minds or our lives.

      You do not nor will ever walk a mile in anyone’s shoes here, or in my case... roll in my wheelchair.

      You are highly offensive and seem to like to stir the pot.  

      One minute you are berating a member here for something that offended you, then apologizing, then writing up a blog such as this, regarding cliques.  

      If in fact there are ‘cliques’ here, I am damn glad to be in it with some amazing women [and Howard].

      So, since you are here going at members [and sounds likes at other places as well] with your rhetoric, back at ya!

      Have a nice day!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joy Pachowicz wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • I am so happy for your opinion..  

      Thanks for your insight..  

      I love all your nic words;

      JhappyY



            Report  Reply


    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • my *nic words?

      Aw, my nice words... sarcasm, my favorite thing!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joy Pachowicz wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • I read many books in a day.. was a mistype..

      Thanks

      Have a nice day:

      JOY



            Report  Reply


    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Cheekymonkey wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • Joy , I feel really bad for you. You honestly don’t care about making friends and you see yourself as some great expert on human behavior which if I remember correctly from beginning blogs you are not.
      You just are like a child any attention is fine with you. Good or bad it doesn’t matter. You just crave the attention so you keep it up.
      So you write your blogs and your thoughts but when you are all alone because no one wants to reach out to you .... You just keep telling yourself it’s ALL us not you but all the women here are at fault not the single person.... It’s so sad

      Don’t respond because I for one won’t waste my time with you. you have said your piece over and over about Cathie but you skirt around it still. We all know what she said and your proving her right
      As for Anne and most women here you are talking out your a##!
      act your age , grow up and try getting along you might and I say might like it better
      A nun???? Really?????
      Ok if u say so and before you answer back keep in mind you know nothing about me so it’s better to respond in short. I’m only responding to what you put out there and it’s ugly at best

      Cristen



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • You go girl!!heartheart



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Feb 23, 2011
    • omg, rofl...
      Cris I never knew ya had it in you. tongue out

      Ditto Ruby and well said Cris!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Feb 24, 2011
    • OMG Cris ..........

      Joy you might think we are a clique or whatever but the women on here are just amazing and there is a member Beachbum on here how has a signature which is along the lines of “be kind along the way as you never know what kind of day someone is having ” this is not the exact phrase but I’m giving you the gist
      Which means you never know what drama other people are going through till you listen to their story and everyone here has a story - so instead of thinking your the only one who has had crap thrown at them - think about others .......before you bounce off them



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joy Pachowicz wrote Feb 24, 2011
    • As I said before the article is general and not  

      particular:  Don’t make it what it’s not:

      Have a nice day:

      Joy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Joy Pachowicz wrote Feb 24, 2011
    • Good luck with your lives: )  

      Joy



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