That old expression “there’s a right and a wrong way” is something that never goes out of  style.  

You can tell people nicely, politely, and ask them about things and get lots of questions answered and problems resolved.  

And then, you can say things that cause more problems than  you had when you started.  

My daughter has asked me about this recently, and we talked for some time about how a  situation could have been avoided.  

We do pass down to our kids what we believe, and surely, how we act.