Last night, I plunged to the depths of hell. Oh, I know I say that every time I clean Pinot & Grigio’s bathroom but this was worse. I chaperoned 300 pre-teens at the YMCA dance.

I’m not sure why it’s called a dance because the kids hopped. Up and down, sideways, back and forth, they hopped. And I was stuck in the middle, kinda like a handful of Mexican jumping beans with a kidney bean mixed in by mistake.  

Dance organizers were teens themselves, not too many years older than their charges. Parents were required to volunteer in order for their kids to attend. Misery loves company, I suppose. The KICs (kids in charge) armed us with flashlights and said to just shine a light on the ones getting too close each other or beginning to fight. Sorta like spraying a hose on two dogs. After an hour hopping up and down without stopping, in an overcrowded, under-cooled gymnasium, I think a spraying from a hose would’ve gone over better. The kids would’ve liked it, too.

KICs also suggested if kids got out of hand to turn the trouble-makers over to them. They didn’t think we parents should be burdened with disciplining the kids. Right. Take away my one chance for enjoyment.  

At least it’s over. Until next spring. Maybe Cat will take up another, less frenetic interest. Wonder if she’d go for mud wrestling.