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Question:  I wanted to ask - in regards to anal play: My husband and I use to do it when we were younger.  I still enjoy it sometimes, but it can hurt and even make me bleed a little?  Are we just too old to enjoy that particular form of play?   ?Angie  

Answer:  As far as anal sex is concerned, I don't believe you are too old to engage in any sexual activity that both you and your partner find pleasurable.  You must, however be mindful of a few things, in order to keep the experience positive and pain-free.

That area of the body is not specifically designed for incoming traffic, so patience and careful preparation are necessary when engaging in “backdoor gymnastics.”  As always, proper hygiene is important.  Both his penis and your rectal area should be clean to minimize the spread of bacteria during invasive sexual activity.  

Next, don’t scrimp on the lubricant.  Sex inherently causes friction, and anal sex, by its very nature and tight fit can take that friction to an extreme level.  Therefore, special care must be taken to sufficiently lubricate the area to reduce friction, and lessen the possibility of abrasion and tearing (both of which can cause bleeding, and increase your exposure to infection).  I suggest starting with general foreplay to increase both of your levels of arousal.

When both of you are sufficiently excited, your husband should now shift his focus to your anus.  Liberally lubricating a finger, he should gently insert it into your rear passage.  As he gains more depth, and your sphincter (the rubber-band like muscle that is your rectum’s gatekeeper) begins to relax, he should start to SLOWLY move in and out to increase your arousal and help prepare your anal cavity for the arrival of a larger occupant.  When you feel relaxed and ready to proceed, liberally coat his penis with a water-soluble lubricant, like KY Jelly or AstroGlide and re-lubricate your anus.  You‘re then ready for your husband to gently ease himself into you, moving slowly to minimize tearing and allowing you to easily accommodate him.  When he has reached the maximum depth of penetration that both of you can comfortably handle, he can now very slowly begin to move in and out, increasing speed as you and he become more comfortable with the motion.

One important note:  After anal sex, it is essential that your husband completely wash his penis before he has any further contact with your vaginal area, to avoid the spread of harmful bacteria.  He should also not fondle your genitalia with fingers that have invaded your anus, for similar reasons.

I hope that answers your questions and makes for a mutually enjoyable sexual experience.

If you have any questions about men, relationships, dating or a related topic, please feel free to email them to me at: david@EveryManSeesYouNaked.com. I will try to answer as many as I possibly can here in my column.

(C)2008 David M. Matthews.  All Rights Reserved.

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Umm, ouch! I am tightening that area up as I type! YOW!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Inakika, and adding a padlock too....and puttiNg up my “NO TRESPASSING” sign



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Guy wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • I did not know women get ANY pleasure from this! I thought it was for the man’s benefit. My back door is permanently locked! Front entrance only!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • I did it once when I was really on drug (over 25 years ago)- I could not remember a thing nor would I want to do that again.  (Dang, just wish I could post anonymous.  This is such an embarrassment!)

      :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
      Alone I can do nothing, Together we can do all thing!

      ~Email: utahchinadoll @yahoo.com



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • I know Teeky.  It was a force entry.  It took my virginity.

      :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
      Alone I can do nothing, Together we can do all thing!

      ~Email: utahchinadoll @yahoo.com



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michele66 wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • Just the thought is enough to hurt. And to pucker....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Maura Jones wrote Dec 9, 2008
    • I enjoy it with no pain at all...he’s not patient enough if it hurts you, girls!
      You get a really DEEP orgasm when being “Back-door” penetrated.  Even just him touching that area during orgasm gives it a totally different intensity.  You don’t have to have penetration to enjoy that!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • Maurajones,
      Please, enjoy it for me. I am willing to concede that bit of pleasure all to you! LOL! Salud! ohhhh



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • OMGootnessssss! This train loads from the front entrance, pleezze.

      estatic *Lcm*



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michele66 wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • I 2nd that inakika



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • Very interesting subject though, I suppose, if you‘re interested, I suppose, uhmm yeah, I better go.
      Dueces
      Lisa

      estatic *Lcm*



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • Hmmmmm...... maybe I’m old fashioned  or traditional or something. It’s got me puckering just thinking about it. But hey more pleasure to you if it’s your thing......

      Vikki
      Smile like you're up to something!

      Paying it forward  

      The Summer Challenge  



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Dee Dee Shaw wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • Okay, so how does David rate not having to flag this mature. I am with you Ingrid. Not interested. I get complete satisfaction without experimenting with un-natural methods. To each his own... but I’m not playing!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Leadinladytracy wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • I have to agree with the majority of the ladies. No back door entry!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cindylouwho1966 wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • Some of the stuff coming OUT has been so painful, I can’t imagine something that size (or larger) going back in.

      and does age really have anything to do with it?


      Not store candles, YOUR candles!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lucinda Wormsbaker wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • I also wondered about the mature rating, Dee.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michele66 wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • My 1st hubby wanted to do that. I just don’t get it.
      A girl friend of mine told me that when she & her hubby did it, she took a couple of pain killers narcotics had he butt propped up in the air and was smoking a ciggy so she would be relaxed. I laughed so hard when she told me about it. I asked well did you like it.. She said no.
      But surprising there are a lot of men out there who want to do it



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • FYI, this question is rated mature.  I tested that from the outside.

      :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
      Alone I can do nothing, Together we can do all thing!

      ~Email: utahchinadoll @yahoo.com



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lisa Middlesworth wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • I pretty much knew from the title that it would be mature.

      estatic *Lcm*



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Dec 10, 2008
    • Again, NO TRESPASSING!!! But if it works for you...Go For It



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 11, 2008
    • This ties with the blog on anal bleaching.  If they bleach, the partner may miss his target spot. estatic

      :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
      Alone I can do nothing, Together we can do all thing!

      ~Email: utahchinadoll @yahoo.com



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote Dec 11, 2008
    • David’s Column is MATURE CONTENT, mature enough for all of us 40 and beyond.

      This should never be a question that’s brought up again. Everyone has the right to read the column or not.

      We have added mature content feature on blogs, questions and groups, labeling Experts & Columnists content as mature content (feature) will not be available on this site.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Rene' Grandon wrote Dec 11, 2008
    • I have to agree Maurajones, my husband and I have done this before and it really made the big O more intense!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 11, 2008
    • I just found this and please take this as a joke and not anything offensive or mean from me,okay??? otherwise, cover your eyes and skip.  

      :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
      Alone I can do nothing, Together we can do all thing!

      ~Email: utahchinadoll @yahoo.com



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cheryl Guy wrote Dec 11, 2008
    • Chinadoll- too funny!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 11, 2008
    • I am sorry! I am so rowdy. tongue out
      Santa Claus already told me I had been naughty!

      :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
      Alone I can do nothing, Together we can do all thing!

      ~Email: utahchinadoll @yahoo.com



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Peejay64 wrote Dec 16, 2008
    • If I were to get a tattoo on my lower back, I think I’d have:
      “No Deliveries In Rear”



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Teresa Lugo wrote Dec 17, 2008
    • I say don’t knock it till you try it! My motto is “I will try it once, and if I like it maybe twice”



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bfly wrote Dec 27, 2008
    • I may be a day late and a dollar short on replying to this one but . . . but uh . . .  

      nope
      naw
      AFRIKAANS                                                                nee
      ALBANIAN                                                                  jo
      ALSATIAN                                                                 na?
      ARABIC                                                                         laa
      ARMENIAN                                                              votch
      AZERI                                                                      xeyir
      BASQUE                                                                          ez
      BELARUSIAN                                                          ?? (nie)
      BENGALI                                                                  na
      BOBO                                                                       a?lle
      BOSNIAN                                                                  ne
      BRETON                                                                       nann
      BULGARIAN                                                                  n?
      BURMESE                                  ma hoke phu / hmar te
      CATALAN                                                                  no
      CHINESE                                                            p? shi
      CORSICAN                                                                 n?
      CZECH                                                                         ne
      CROATIAN                                                                 ne
      DANISH                                                                       nej
      DUTCH                                                                       nee
      ENGLISH                                                                 no
      ESPERANTO                                                                 ne
      ESTONIAN                                                                  ei
      FAROESE                                                                nei
      FINNISH                                                                 ei
      FRENCH                                                                       non
      FRISIAN                                                              nee
      FRIULAN                                                                no
      GALICIAN                                                               non
      GERMAN                                                                      nein
      GREEK                                                                        ohi
      GUARAN?                                                         nah?niri
      HAITIAN CREOLE                                                       non
      HEBREW                                                                     lo
      HINDI                                                                    nahin
      HUNGARIAN                                                              nem
      ICELANDIC                                                               nei
      INDONESIAN                                                    tidak
      ITALIAN                                                               no
      JAPANESE                                                                ii?
      KABYLIAN                                                               ala
      KHMER                                                                     thay
      KINYARWANDA                                                      oya
      KOREAN                                                                ahneo
      KURDISH                                                        no / na
      LAO                                                                     bo
      LATIN minime (not at all), non (and repetition of the verb)
      LATVIAN                                                             n?
      LIGURIAN                                                             no
      LINGALA                                                             te
      LITHUANIAN                                                     ne
      LOW SAXON                                                            nee
      LUXEMBOURGEOIS                                           neen
      MACEDONIAN                                                     ne
      MALAGASY                                                           tsia
      MALAY                                                                 tidak
      MALTESE                                                              le
      MAORI                                                                kaore
      MONGOLIAN                                                 ugui (Y?v?)
      NORWEGIAN                                                           nei
      OCCITAN                                                           non
      PERSIAN                                                kheyr / na
      POLISH                                                                    nie
      PORTUGUESE                                                         n?o
      ROMANI                                                                    na
      ROMANIAN                                                            nu
      RUSSIAN                                                  ??? (niet)
      SARDINIAN                                                             no
      SCOTTISH GAELIC                                             ag
      SERBIAN                                                             ne
      SHONA                                                                     aiwa
      SINDHI                                                               na
      SINHALA                                                             nae
      SLOVAK                                                                     nie
      SLOVENIAN                                                             ne
      SOBOTA                                                              ne
      SPANISH                                                             no
      SWAHILI                                             siyo / hapana
      SWEDISH                                                            nej
      TAGALOG                                                   hindi (po)
      TAHITIAN                                                                aita
      TAMIL                                                                    illa?
      TATAR                                                                    yuk
      TELUGU                                                                kadhu
      THAI                                     ??? (ma?) / ?????? (ma? cha?)
      TURKISH                                                         hayir
      UDMURT           oevoel (with nouns) / ug (with verbs)
      UKRAINIAN                                                         ?? (ni)
      URDU                                                                nein-ji
      WALOON                              (“betchfess?s” spelling) neni
      WELSH                                                                   nage
      WEST INDIAN CREOLE                                    awa
      YIDDISH                                                           nein
      ZULU                                                                     cha

      Any question? Oh, btw, did I say HELL TO THE NAW!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Dec 27, 2008
    • Bfly...LOL....I got the message Loud & Clear....
      Every hole on my body has a purpose and I am making sure that every rule is adhered to.  Shit, it hurts when my doctor does the anal exam..can’t even imagine....Nope, Nope, Nope



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 27, 2008
    • I can’t help it... I am mooning you all.  Hee hee.  

      :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
      Alone I can do nothing, Together we can do all thing!

      ~Email: utahchinadoll @yahoo.com



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deborah Todd wrote Dec 27, 2008
    • OK....Bfly, I ditto your “No“! All of them.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vicky McDevitt wrote Jan 2, 2009
    • Ha,Yeah,makes it way more intense:)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darlawarla wrote Jan 22, 2009
    • I have to say ladies that there are some women, myself included, that actually enjoy it. It most certainly is not for everyone just like anything else, but with the right partner it came be great and it does make for stronger orgasms. If you’ve had it and it was painful then he wasn’t doing it right.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      VICKY CORYEA wrote Feb 1, 2009
    • I cant imagine anyone NOT liking this!   but I would agree, partner MUST kno what they are doing. we all would agree that driving anything takes experience!!!   a good day to all!



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