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First, let me introduce myself. I am Bren. I am an empty nester and a stay at home wife, not by choice. My health keeps me at home.  

Ever since my husband has entered the professional field, I feel simply like..the wife at home. I am always mentioned..sometimes people send candy, cake, a trinket, home for me but I feel so lost now.

He is in the last year of his graduate studies, so he is not only in classes in the field..(oh, it might help if I mention his field? It is Library Information Systems)but working part time in that field and part time in a support us he says, in addition to all the student loans and my income.

I just feel like an extension of him now, like somehow I have just melted away and I am afraid that I will be lost forever if I do not do something.  

I mean it is not like I can not get out and about on my own. I can, it just takes my cane. I have severe arthritis of my spine and 2 disks in my spine out of place so it is painful to do much walking. My doctor does not want me to use a wheelchair. When you succumb to a wheelchair is when the arthritis has won. Walking and bending lubricates those least that is what she told me.

My fingers are cold. The landlord must have turned the heat off and it will be 42F here tonight? Oh great

Sigh There is much more to say but I have run out of the will to say it.

more later.



Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Yana Berlin wrote May 4, 2008
    • Hi Bren,

      Welcome to our group.

      Sorry to hear about your arthritis. I know how painful it can be because only last year I was diagnosed with Psoriatic Arthritis, and went from being very active to almost disabled. It took three injections to get me up, but what really helped was the diet.

      Even though my doctor announced that after all traditional testing I had no gluten intolerance, when I got tested holistic way, I could no longer have, gluten, dairy, wheat, yeast and sugar. After four months of a very strict diet I was almost pain free. 90%, and my SED rate dropped by 63%

      I had testing done at the (by mail), and my insurance even covered some of the costs, since the result was so great and they didn’t have to keep me on ANY kind of meds every day.

      Mind you that the doctors had prescribed very intense treatment of steroid medications, but I didn’t listen, and tried the diet first.
      I know that it’s hard, any by now you probably know everything there is to know about arthritis, but I still wanted to share.

      Also check out my blog on the Miracle of Nature which also helped tremendously and if you haven't heard of the arthritis lady, google, her she seems to have the cure as well.

      Hope to see lots of you on our space.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Stephanie wrote May 4, 2008
    • Hi Bren,

      It is a pleasure to meet you.

      I imagine that your arthritis makes things difficult, but it seems that you are very strong.

      You say that you feel as if you are an extension of your husband... but regardless of your arthritis, i know you can recreate yourself to be and do what you want.

      The first step in recreation is to build a positive mind, so carefully map out how what you would like to do. You said you have an income, so do you work from home? I am sure that there are many ways you can move forward if you do work- and not necessarily by completely changing what you do.

      You have to know that you can do what you want, and become who you really want to be, and accomplish what you really want to do-one step at a time.  

       I have always known that life is not fair, but you are the guide to your life, and yes, you come across obstacles that you think will hold you back- but you can get around it if you put your mind to it.

      Looking forward to hearing from you.

      Smile : )  life is only beginning, you’ll see : )

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Buckeyebren wrote May 4, 2008
    • Thanks Yana for your suggestions. I will check them out. I am lucky to have a very open minded doctor who will work with others if it will help me.  

      I am going for my 3rd steroid injection in my spine this year on the 8th. It has given me minimal relief because the disks are out of place and constantly pinching on nerves, one in my lower neck and one in my lower back.

      I think my spine doc is consider going up on my pain something stronger so I can function and discussing surgery. I cannot even sit long enough to watch a movie. I am in so much pain that I have to stand or lie down. We do not realize just how much weight we put on our spine until we cannot do it.

            Report  Reply

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Buckeyebren wrote May 4, 2008
    • Thank you too Stephanie. Your words of encouragement truly do help. I am usually pretty upbeat but definitely have my down times.

      My income is disability income, and not much, just enough to pay the rent. In fact since we are only staying six months on the lease this time the rent is gobbling up about every penny of my income.

      Now, to devise my plan on how to get what I want :)

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